I just remembered a topic that is hard to find ready-made phrases for to bring into a hypothetical class like I’m doing, but a theme came to me that also appears, right? Uh, when, for example, I I get involved with someone, I enter a family system, I get involved with someone who already has a child with another person, right? This is a theme of order, of hierarchy, right, of who comes first, and also a theme of balance regarding what I take from this person I’m in a relationship with, because I don't take the child, right?
I enter a place that comes after the first family nucleus. So, I acknowledge that this child is yours. I acknowledge that this—I acknowledge you as the father or mother of this child, right?
This is a—this, this brings balance to the current relationship. Manu is bringing up here, uh, the topic of adoption. Adoption, within the practices, the conversations, and this systemic family vision, could be seen as more than fatherhood and more than motherhood.
Because when a father and mother do something for a child, although they will never be compensated for what they did for a child after all , the child goes into life, they will create this debt with a new child, right, or with a dream, with a project, they move forward; they don't return to those who gave them the gift of life and the upbringing, the raising, whatever it is we receive from our parents. Each case is a case, right? But even so, the legacy that this child leaves, or that this man or this woman later leaves for the Earth, is a legacy that belongs to the biological family system of origin.
So, when there is an adoption process, the adoptive parents, the second parents, right, they do something for someone whose legacy continues to belong to the biological family system. So, it is more than fatherhood, more than motherhood, in the sense that we give something to someone as a good help, but which does not remain in our family system as a family legacy. What does this person do ?
The legacy they give to the world, that they leave for the world, belongs to the original family system, right? So, in this sense, yes, a phrase of release through the law of balance is: I now release you to your family system . This is in that, that, that place of return for this person who was helped by adoptive parents, who fulfilled this good help with honors when they finish, handing this person back, after being helped, to their own family system, because the legacy of this adopted person belongs to the original family system.
Those adoptive parents who want to take for themselves or for their family the legacy, the story, the, the, the fruits that the adopted child leaves on earth, is when the overstepping happens, the entanglement by the adoptive parents in the history of a family that birthed a child. So, uh, this is a good, it's a much deeper topic, but a release phrase for these adoptive parents, right? Uh, regarding balance, this handing back to those to whom the children belong, which is an internal release, can indeed mean a physical handing back, right?
Taking them back, but as a rule, an internal release. You belong to that family system. And I entered here humbly as a helper within your story.
So it is a release phrase regarding balance. Release phrase regarding belonging. Well, there are many examples there, it is much easier to find examples in this law, uh, because it has to do with including that which is not being seen.
So, now I see you, right? Now I acknowledge you. Now, uh, you are part of it.
What else? When it's a topic, for example, uh, I'll take a story here . Our parents 'loves, they are part of our story.
The system demands recognition of the parents' first loves . In what way does it demand it? When a first love of a father is not seen, of a father and a mother is not seen, it can usually happen that the children take the place of these first loves, representing people to the parents.
Notice, notice in the family stories around you, in your own family history, if at some point parents didn't have a relationship with a person who is represented in the children, even though they are not the mother or the father of these children. previous people. A release phrase for this child who steps into the place of representing an old love of the parents can be, uh, I recognize the place you gave up.
This is a release phrase for this child. Because, after all, this old love of the parents gave up space for our parents, or I am the fruit of the space you gave up. This makes me realize how much I honor this person through the way I am as a child, while at the same time recognizing that my parents are different, right?
And not this person I represent for someone in my family system. It's easy, it's easy to understand. So, there are many phrases of release regarding belonging, but they always have the goal of looking at something that isn't being seen, including something that is being excluded, that is, letting something belong that currently does not belong.
M.
