How To Text A Girl Like a Pro Tinder Text Breakdown

if having girls ignore your texts flake on you ghost you or if you simply used to know what to respond then this may very well be the most important video you'll ever watch in this topic because today I'm going to share with you the three biggest secrets that I learned from the best text gamers in the world playing with fire which is david swift alex forensic and indian PE so i'm going to explain why these three secrets really work how to apply them when to apply them and i'm also going to give you examples on

how to do it if you apply these I guarantee you that you will see a massive improvement in the reactions and the amount of dates that you're going to get I'm going to explain to you why these secrets are so effective how they work why they work when to apply them on how to apply them but first I want to address something you've probably heard from a lot of coaches in the community how texting is only meant to be used as sort of like a bridge between the between the first interaction and D and the

meet up I used to believe this to be true as well but after meeting and learning from the guys from playing with fire I've completely changed my mind on this topic I've learned that if you can't create the right emotions and if you can set the right frames which I personally believe to be the most important thing to do and if you can create enough commitment and compliance from the girl over text then there's simply no reason why it wouldn't be as effective as in-person game and to be honest I think that there's definitely there

might actually be more potential in text game because when you're dealing with someone in person you need to act on the spot right but when you're texting you can take as much time as you like to craft the perfect message every single time however a lot of people have misconceptions about what to keep in mind when crafting the perfect message less experienced guys tend to worry more about things such as not looking too needy not being too eager not coming across is trihard matching investment in interest levels the more advanced guys they tend to focus

on completely different things they tend to focus more on things such as if you're going to use an exclamation mark or not or you gonna use a comma you're gonna use a period because believe it or not the way you use these will massively impact what kind of response you're going to get if you've been in this community for a while you have definitely heard of the expression it's not what you say but how you say that matters this is both very correct and very incorrect it's correct in the sense that the tonality you use

is massively going to to impact the way the other person will perceive your message but on the other hand if you change a single word in a sentence it will change the entire meaning of the entire interaction and I mean obviously we don't have to knowledge over text but what we'll take - now at this place it's it's the things that use mentions uppercase to create emphasis exclamation mark punctuation full stops calm us all of that stuff what advanced guys also tend to do is they tend to think ahead two or three steps ahead in

regards to what the girl is going to respond back so what we do is we use something that we like to call sequences which are basically a series of messages there are heavily tested and tend to work almost every single time I mean regardless of producing the response that you want to get from the girl we use these to segue the interaction in whatever direction we want to take it really so yeah with that said here are the three secrets that I learned from the guys are playing with fire number one soft closing to get

more meetups so from a psychological standpoint the very last thing that you want to do in game is to is to put the girl in the habit of saying no to you that's really the last thing you want to do this sort of creates a dilemma for us because we we're also gonna have to be the ones we're gonna go for the meetup because you cannot expect the girl to do that for you you really cannot and the thing is when you're going for the Meetup you might not know for a fact how much compliance

and interest you really have the way around this problem is to do what we call a soft clothes soft clothing is a very effective way of gauging her compliance and interest levels you don't want to put her in the uncomfortable position where she has to make either a big yes or no decision so the way you go about it is this first you simply hint at the possibility of maybe meeting up and then you make a assessment of how compliant and how interested she really seems to be if she's compliant you obviously go for a

close if she's not compliant you either need to build your value up or you need to be a little bit more investment here are some examples on how to soft clothes how many red flags do you have so this question is sort of like a baked because pretty much every response that she could give to this question would bait her to qualify in one way or another so when someone qualifies they're basically telling you what's good about them they're selling themselves to you they're trying to explain why they're worthy of you and why they're a

good choice this is one of the most effective and reliable ways to make someone chase you and here she does it in the form of but I am still awesome and the second message the soft clothes I'll have to be the judge of that on a romantic date so here we're hinting at the idea of meeting up this also rewards her qualifying and one thing that you want to keep in mind is that whenever you're moving an interaction forward you're in one way or another rewarding some form of behavior and qualification is one of those

behaviors that you always want to reward so this one is probably my personal go-to soft clothes because it's extremely reliable extremely simple and it works almost every time right so the bait here is to ask the girl do you like and most girls they love wine so you'll almost always get a yes here in this situation she actually did not but the solution was obviously very easy and I don't feel like this has to be explained at all because it's so obvious right me too we should grab a beer sometime this is the soft clothes

so I'm not immediately going for a date or asking for her availability here I'm just hinting at the idea of grabbing a beer this is much easier for her to comply to so I know a lot of guys in this situation there would be like me too we should grab a beer sometime what's your schedule like and that it might sound ridiculous but this might actually blow out the entire conversation the reason for that is simply because you're asking for more compliance by adding a second request to your message where the first request is we

should grab a beer sometime so you want to have a say yes to this but then if you ask what's your schedule like you have now doubled the amount of compliance that you're asking for because you added a second request so the more compliance that you're asking for the more likely you are to get a no and if you remember what I said earlier we want to avoid getting nose because we don't want to build what's called negative compliance momentum and I'm definitely going to make youtube videos in the future where I dive deeper into

the idea of compliance but for now just trust me with soft closing before you go for the actual meetup or asking for a schedule can I be honest with you she will obviously say yes to this the reason we send this message is just so that we can move on to the next text because sending the common text out of nowhere without any context whatsoever is just an unnecessary stupid risk to take it would also be more emotionally flat because there's no form of build up whatsoever I actually love how fun and bubbly you are

we get along so well this will obviously always get a positive response because how could it not we should get together sometime so we soft closing her here when she's on an emotional high point because when she's on an emotional high point she will have more compliance she responds very enthusiastically to this perfect you said you're free tomorrow evening so you don't want to wait too long to set it up after yourself closed this is because compliance fades with time and emotions change as you probably know and it would take a lot of unnecessary work

to lead the topic back to the Meetup if you would ever drift away from it sounds too good to be true so when she's saying this she's shown interest and you want to reward whenever she is showing interest to you and some very good ways to do this is to actually move the interaction forward because that way you are showing interest back simply by moving it forward she is also at an emotional high point here so it makes sense to escalate it anyway that's what we'll do on our romantic date this is the soft close

so from here we can gauge how compliant and interested she seems and she is action or completely sold yet but has to be pushed over the fence a bit you me a bottle of wine and so this is a future pace it sort of paints a picture in her head what it would be like to go on a date and this is obviously completely void of logic and only makes sense on an emotional level but that's where we make most of our decisions anyway and she plays along so she accepted the meet up there is

a lot to say about this screenshot but a lot of it is very off topic so I'm not going to go into it so so but working weekends I can't be as much so here she is giving us her schedule without us ever asking for it and this is obviously a huge green light and it shows a lot of compliance so whenever this happens you should capitalize on it because this opportunity might not come again ah glad it's over then but ah sternly to talk to you on a romantic date this is a very good

moment to soft-close because she just showed us a huge amount of interest by giving us her schedule without us ever asking for it so that's perfect I've mentioned earlier throughout this video that we always want to escalate things on emotional high points and these emotional high points don't necessarily have to be as big as you might think her simply saying lol and using an emoji is enough of an indicator since she is on an emotional high point here it makes perfect sense to soft-close and she gives us the perfect opportunity to do so by asking

how our day has been so whenever you get questions like these you should make the most out of them depending on where you are in your conversation so for example let's say did this might be pretty rare because she probably wouldn't ask this if she wasn't attracted to you somehow but let's say that you lack attraction or interest from the girl when she asked a question like this it would be a very good idea to dhv for example and if everything is going well as in this example it's a very good idea to capitalize with

a soft-close will be making content on how to dhv but that's gonna have to be another video number 2 baiting for permission to sexualize to avoid coming across as creepy so there has been this debate in the community for a while studio sexual overtakes or should you not in my opinion I would say yes you should go sexual over text if you can get away with it and in fact this most coaches will tell you to not go sexual over text it's simply because they don't know how to do it so how do you know

if you can get away with going sexual over text your compliance test and the way you do this is that you're sort of baiting her to give you a green light to go sexual first we'll simply hint at going sexual if she if she responds positively we'll go ahead we'll keep sexualizing if she does not respond positively we obviously don't go sexual whilst it is very similar to soft clothing it is still a little bit different and I honestly think this is best illustrated by example so I'm gonna show some more so here in this

text she is showing interest by telling us that she prefers foreign guys and this also implies that she doesn't like Hungarian guys as will be confirmed in the next message she sense and like I said earlier you want to reward whenever she shows interest and one form of reward is to move the interaction forward and sexualizing obviously is moving the interaction forward and believe it or not this is actually a fairly safe way of sexualizing because even if she respond negatively to this question you could say something along the lines of sorry to hear you

never have good oral or whatever and a lot of times they would end up sexually qualifying and then you can take it from there so is it because Swedish men know how to give women multiple oral orgasms so as you can see she responds really well to this and it eventually leads to this don't tease me so this implies that she's the one who's sexualizing she's the one who is escalating the conversation and this is a frame that you want to set whenever you can um it's always good if you can frame her as the

one who is escalating and this obviously doesn't make any logical sense whatsoever but I will explain this later on in this video about how frames work so there are texts I can't wait to taste you so when we're saying this we're assuming that it's already going to happen that it's already agreed upon sure we can arrange something so here she actually is the one who goes for the clothes which is obviously amazing but because she said sure the frame here is still then it's our idea and we want to frame it as if it's her

idea and I know this might sound like a small irrelevant detail but framing it as her idea will massively reduce flakiness sure what's your what's up so by using the word sure here in the message we are framing it if it's her idea and when she responds to the question which is us asking for a number she also agrees with the frame that is her idea again these are small details but still very important it screams sex how I'm very curious so she's accepting the sexual ization from before but we're not at a stage yet

where we want to fully sexualize because most of the times it's better to do it in small gradual progressions rather than just blowing it all at once I'm not sure maybe it's in your eyes there is sexual charisma so every woman wants to be perceived as sexy so they will never disagree with a statement like this I have actually been told I have bedroom eyes so she's playing along and this is a behavior you definitely want a reward so the reward here is you do I see your pics and I have terrible thoughts this beit's

her to inquire more about those terrible thoughts which she does oh please tell me so whenever you get a enthusiastic response like this that shows a lot of compliance and interest you can just go all out so number three this is really the topic that's that's the closest to my heart it's what we call flipping the script which is basically a fancy word for being the hot girl or frame control I'm going to stick with the term frame control so in my opinion frame control is definitely by far the most valuable skill you can learn

when dealing with girls or if people in general it's also the most complex one a lot of guys tend to really struggle with grasping the concept of frame control because it's not very logical but I'm going to try my best to explain this in the simplest way possible in every interaction there are always two layers of communication going on simultaneously both on a logical level and on an emotional level this is actually way more complex but for simplicity sake I'm going to put it like this every sentence can be we'll always have both an explicit

meaning on a logical level and an implicit meaning on an emotional level the explicit meaning or the actual words that are being said on a logical level the implicit meaning is on an emotional level and it's basically what is being read between the lines now the explicit meaning and the logical level of communication cannot really be manipulated it sort of is what it is however the implications on an emotional level can be manipulated as much as you like so basically when you set a frame you're dictating what is being read between the lines a classic

example to illustrate this is it's the glass half-full or half-empty you're all heartless if you're creative enough you can use frame control to flip anything to your advantage in social interactions it's very important that you start to to gain an awareness of what frames are being communicated at any given moment because in the context of interacting with women they will almost every single time try to assert frames that sort of stop you from moving the interaction forward on your terms very often and funnily enough almost seemingly natural girls typically tend to set frames that make

makes it look like you're the one pursuing them and this actually becomes reality when you fall into this frame so to further illustrate this I'm gonna give you a few more examples on some very typical frames that girls will try to assert on you this will be things such as you're the one chasing her you're pursuing her she's the one of higher social value she's the one who is more visiting you with a packed schedule you could be a serial killer I don't sleep with guys on the first night I need a connection I'm not

like other girls I'm not that easy and she might even try to frame you as being maybe weird awkward creepy insecure immature whatever what's important to take away from this is that when they set these frames it's very important that you deal with them I'm gonna give you some ways that you can deal with these frames so one way to deal with these frames is to deal with them preemptively before the facts before she has actually set the frame I mean because think about it there's no reason that you cannot set these frames they're not

exclusive to women by any means most guys they they're just not aware of how frames work so they typically tend to fall into whatever frame the girl tends to put I mean for example if you set the frame that you're the one who needs the connection and that you're you don't sleep with girls on the first night it's very difficult for her to try to set the same frame because it's gonna look ridiculous another way to deal with these frames is to used to reframe whatever she said reframing basically means that you changed the implications

of whatever she said it's basically to miss read whatever she intended to be read between the lines to misinterpret whatever she actually meant to say another way to deal with it is to just flip back whatever frames you try to put on you so you do this by taking her implications and then you straight on implying it back onto her so if this seems complicated I'm difficult to grasp it's because it is and that's also why I'm going to provide you with more examples so you really really understand how this [ __ ] works because

it's very important that you get it so let's break down some of these texts and what the underlying meaning is in them so with this message if I like you enough to keep hanging out with you so when she's saying this she's trying to frame herself as the price and that she has to be won over one big mistake guys do is that they don't flip these frames they tend to ignore them or not notice them at all and just fall right into them for sure it's very important for me to have chemistry on the

first meet so we say for sure because we don't want it to come across us if we're disagreeing with her frame because that would only cause resistance instead the frame has to be flipped in such a subtle way that she doesn't even notice it or at least subtle enough that she cannot go against it without looking reactive and butthurt so when we say it's important from to have chemistry on the first meet we're essentially just echoing what she implied previously I'm the price you have to win me over and as a result we flipped the

frame in our favor good thing I know for a fact that we will so she accepts the frame that we flipped back on her by agreeing with us so do you see the difference here in the first message she's giving us attitude and trying to make us work hard for her and with just one message we were able to flip this entire dynamic around so she's now the one who is sure that we're a good match and I'm the one who is not convinced yet so this is basically a complete role reversal and that is

what you're trying to accomplish with the frame control here is another example of how you can use frame control in your favor and with this screen shots it is in the context of dealing with objections and in this case specifically a safety objection and girls will tend to give these even when they don't really make sense but yeah anyways just don't kill me this is obviously the safety objection and our response to this well the guy who takes the extra Delpit is in a genius way so he replied Lowell I'm the one who scared I'm

letting a stranger into my house so when he's saying this he's dealing with the objection by stealing it back for himself and her response to this is haha what do you mean I'm the girl you might remember how I mentioned earlier that these frames that women typically try to set for guys are by no means exclusive to women and one of the best things that can happen is when you get this very specific reaction back because she's acknowledging the fact that you stole her frame and at this stage you know it's a done deal almost

every time I'm not going to kill you over dishes so when she's saying this she has completely fallen into our frame and now she's dealing with our safety objections so this is a beautiful way to deal with it so this one is really interesting because there's a lot going on here and you'll see some reoccurring patterns here I'm constantly aware of the subtext or frames of whatever is going on here and every single word I use is to serve a certain purpose and these will be things such as flipping frames that put me in bad

positions dealing with her emotional concerns stealing her objections etc and the way I deal with her objections is it's not how you typically talk to typically in game you're taught to deal with objections by sort of objecting to her objections and this is bad because it breaks a lot of rapport and Trust and I know that it's extremely important to maintain rapport and Trust when dealing with objections because otherwise just gonna walk away right and remember what we're trying to accomplish here is a full-on role reversal anyway let's get into it so the first text

lowboy we just met I'm not one of those these I'm not one of those girls so here she's implying that she's hard to get she's not easy I don't sleep with guys on the first night and this is something that you are extremely likely to encounter very often because girls don't want to be perceived as easy or as [ __ ] and this makes a lot of sense from a evolutionary perspective but I'm not gonna get into that in this video that's gonna be way too long anyways so they don't want to be perceived as

[ __ ] by themselves and they don't want to be perceived as slots by society and they don't want to be perceived as slots by you and this is also another like very long topic anyways here's how I deal with it that's actually amazing it's very important for me to have chemistry with the girl before I do anything so there is a lot going on in this text so first of all I make sure not to break rapport because as I mentioned earlier breaking rapport here would cause her to resist our frames and so if

we go into more of a word level he will look something like this that's actually amazing so what I'm saying this I'm taking something that most guys would interpret as something negative but I'm framing it as something that I perceive as a positive so let's call this a positive reframe and then the second half the text it's very important for me to have chemistry on the first meet so when I'm saying this I'm stealing the frame from her that she tried to set on me so I have flipped the frame for it to be I'm

the one who needs time I'm the one who needs a connection and I'm the one who has to be won over and so another text that she sends me is boy you're too handsome to be a virgin don't try to trick me and most guys they would interpret this as something positive and at a surface level that is completely correct the explicit meaning is that she's saying that I am good-looking sure that's good however we need to look at the underlying meaning of what's being communicated here she's implying that I'm trying something right the one

who's trying the harder is the one who is putting in more effort the one who is putting in more effort is the one who's chasing and remember we don't want to fall into these frames right so the way we respond to this come on girl you know I'm weak for compliments and Here I am I'm implying that she's the one who is trying to win me over with compliments and I steal the frame that she used previously now she's the one who's trying something I'm not an easy girl or a hoe you'll have to work

harder so she is trying to take back the frames again I'm not easy you need to work for me I don't want to be perceived as [ __ ] so she's basically just repeating what she said earlier and when they make these desperate attempts to regain the control of the frame I know that I'm in a very good position and that there is just a few steps away from falling into my frame completely that's interesting but I'd really prefer to take being slow I hope you're fine with that let's see how the pyjama party goes

first so let's break this down that's interesting so when I say that once again I don't want to cause any resistance to any of the frames I'm trying to set so when I say that's interesting on a surface level the logical level the explicit level it sounds like I'm agreeing with her however what I'm doing later on in the message completely flips the frame so the second half of the message but I'd really prefer to take things slow I hope you're fine with that let's see how the pyjama party goes first so when I'm saying

that I take back the frame by stealing her implications from before which are yeah I want to say I want to take things slow so when I say that I I do to steal her slut-shaming objection as if I'm the one who wants to take things slow I don't want to be perceived as a [ __ ] right I hope you're fine with that so when I say that it suddenly frames her as the sexual aggressor and that she's the one who's chasing and later on in the message let's see how the pyjama party goes

first I'm assuming compliance for the P AMA party so I'm I'm basically phrasing it as if she's already agreed to it and the beauty with I hope you're fine with that is that she sort of boxed in to agree with this frame if she doesn't she will come across as very needy eager and desperate and funny enough do you see how these frames are frames that girls often tends to use towards guys and yeah that's the whole reason we're using them as well because the goal here is a complete role reversal like we want to

flip the script really she basically has to say that she's fine with this so when she agrees to being fine with this she also accepts the pajama party request Plus that I'm the one who's giving the slut-shaming I want to take a slow objection so we're just sneaking these frames in here really I've heard some people called this way of sneaking frames or like sneaking it past the goalie which kind of makes sense to be honest definitely I hope you're fine with taking things slow so the reason I'm sending this is because I want her

to explicitly agree with this frame that she's the one who's the sexual aggressor and the one who's chasing and the reason for that is because previously in this conversation she aggressively tried to take these frames for herself and I really don't want to fall into them because that's gonna be very difficult to break out of once you actually follow me into it don't worry it will be just you and me bla bla bla so with this message when whenever you say you and me you're implying we so you're basically framing it that's like you and

her your thing we write and I also notice I'm talking about it as if she's already agreed to it so the possibility of cuddles if the chemistry is right when I'm saying that I'm selling the frame of you need to win me over when I say let's take it slow first I'm framing it as she's the one who's chasing and this text is also what's called a future pace so you're basically helping her imagine what she what the future event would be like and in this scenario we're obviously referring to our meetup when she imagines

this she will feel certain emotions and like I said earlier people make decisions most based on emotions and the more emotional you become the more compliance you have so you have more chance of getting a yes haha sounds good hahaha so when she sends this this confirms everything like I have completely reversed the roles here so now we've got an explicit yes to all of our frames that we had to flip and all of the objections we have to deal with she has agreed the dynamic completely being flipped alright so this is another safety objection

okay is there a possibility we can meet in public this is obviously the safety objection and it is a very common one but it's fairly easy to overcome to be honest it's a lot of times it's just something they feel like they have to say at least that's what I think right so one of the things that the guys at playing with fire you do very differently from others is that they don't do public dates they have every single girl come straight over to their place directly from tinder and you would be very surprised at

how many girls are willing to do this and it's obviously great you don't have to spend a lot of time doing public dates I'm super laid-back bring pepper spray if you're that nervous women meet lull so what's going on here is that he's framing her safety objection as simply being nervous it's basically pointing out the absurdity of the objection by exaggerating it with pepper spray implying that there is no danger which there is not right so yeah I don't have the second half of this conversation but this girl just ended up coming straight over and

I'm not sure who came up with the pepper spray objection humble thing but I'm pretty sure is j-mo or John Anthony at John Anthony lifestyles so another safety objection this one manifested in a little bit different way you're not gonna steal me and sell me to the sex trade it's obvious like a very ridiculous saved objection anyways so you deal with it the exact same way asked before so you deal with the objection by flipping it stealing it for yourself I'm the one who's inviting a stranger to my house bring pepper spray if you're that

nervous well I'll keep on ready to so your framing her safety objection as simply being nervous again and no one wants to be perceived as nervous okay sounds good so that was easy to deal with and another takeaway I want you to have from this video is this as a starting point for gaining awareness of what frames are being communicated here are some questions I want you to actively ask yourself but whenever interacting with another person who's putting in more effort than the other person who's chasing who who's trying to win who over who's the

prize who is leading this interaction