The game Nintendo wants you to forget

everyone knows about the classic household name Dance Dance Revolution it's the one where you go to those arcade places and there's that one Asian Guy full comboing the hardest song with both player slots and he's been doing it with no break for the past two hours and he's the coolest person anyone has ever seen it's a huge video game genre that sparked an incredibly talented and dedicated fan base but we're not talking about a game that has any of that we're talking about the Mario DDR game that came out on the GameCube in 2005 and

is the funniest thing Nintendo has ever done if you didn't know Nintendo released their own Dance Dance Revolution game to capitalize on the hype but it's actually awful uh for whatever reason they just ripped all the assets and models from their Mario Party games and mo capped Mario to various dances resulting in animations like these I hope you're starting to pick up on the vibe of this game now I wanted to run the game at the hardest difficulty but I realized to unlock each difficulty you need to complete the entire story mode in its prior

difficulty so to unlock hard mode you have to beat the game in normal to unlock very hard you have to beat it all again and hard so we all agree that I played the game three whole times and didn't use a cheat code to get the hardest difficulty immediately right all right great this game is awesome already the story starts out with toad running tomorrow's house because someone stole the music keys from truffle towers and they need to go get them back what are the music Keys the game calls them the Spheres that hold the

power of music and then does not elaborate they try to head to the Tower and not a minute into the game we reach our first story hurdle which is a river they say it's flooded but does not look flooded in the slightest in fact that is exactly what I'd expect a completely normal River to look like also why would you put your house here in the first place especially if you're gonna have problems with crossing rivers but toad has a solution and the solution is to dance oh my God do not tell me I can

predict how this entire game goes all because of this one sentence anyways toad says if they dance maybe they can cross the river but then they just get in a boat and dance which I think is one step too complicated they cross the river in a boat and thanked the power of magic get to truffle Towers the door is locked and then are bombed by Waluigi Mario gets sent flying in Waluigi monologues about how he's the one that stole the music keys and intends to use them to become the best dancer in the world which

first of all is full-on admission of Guild and therefore tribal in court and also I don't think you need to stoop to robbery to accomplish that dream like it all Mario lands at the bottom of a really deep pipe but uses the power of busting it down to get out somehow I don't know what happened but he just started dancing and then he was out and on their way back to the tower they visit a local shop run by latitude they're shopping and then the camera pans and reveals is that the key to travel Towers

they ask him about it and he's just like yup ain't she a beaut and it's like why is it here toad asks if they can have it and he responds only if you can do something for me which is terrifying and ominous he takes him to the back which is also terrifying an ominous but says these brat kids are messing with my garden if you get rid of them you can have a key oh phew okay he just wants us to beat up children so Mario Just Dances around and smashes them we get the key

go back to the Tower and walk in on Waluigi just having his own private little dance party inside alone have you just been dancing around in silence this whole time he strikes in anime back pose and challenges us to a dance off which we win because look at Mario go and now we got the music key Mario does the smallest little punch celebration in the world before toad says they're not done with their Journey we have one of the music keys but apparently there's four in total you mean the game isn't 18 minutes long toad

summons this incredible music Airship that I guess he just has and off we go to world 2 where they immediately fly into a tornado get flung away and ruin toadette's hotel and when I say ruin I mean turn it into Corkscrew pasta Toadette is absolutely Furious and I'm just praying we didn't kill every single person who was in the building but Mario's like don't worry dude I know how to fix it by dancing of course they dance and the building coils itself up again and toadette's like thanks by the way I saw the thing you

guys are looking for fly over in that direction which is like okay sure they head over in that direction but a Whirlpool just spawns out of nowhere they sail to a nearby Island for safety kind of just stand there with creepy glank stares for a bit then walk into the only building on the island which is just another shop this time it's run by a lakitu but in a pirate hat and you'll never guess what he's got a ship attachment that lets you sail through whirlpools how incredibly convenient to keep on progressing Mario and Toad

are just looking at the thing and lakitu's like I see you've got your eye on the Boogie booster it lets you sail through whirlpools Toad's like oh neat can we have it nope it's not for sale then why is it on display you know what you've got a point if you beat me in a dance battle you can have it I kid you not that is the exact exchange that happens in the game the song that plays while battling latitude is super intimidating and I thought I was gonna actually be in danger but Mario wins

the dance off probably because lakitu has zero legs they get the engine thing that wasn't for sale and lakitu definitely did not have to give away and now they can sail through whirlpools and when the game says through they actually mean into because apparently the music key is in the whirlpool and I don't know how they knew that or why they didn't tell me the player that in the first place I was just thinking the whole time can you just sail around the whirlpool or something there's like a whole ocean to sail in and you're

wanting to sail through this tiny little section but now I look like a fool and frankly I don't think it's my fault so they get to the bottom of the whirlpool and find the second music key being guarded by this giant blooper and of course that means we need to dance battle since for all these dual songs you get to see the opponent's screen I thought it would have been really funny to see the Blooper have like eight arrows to hit instead of the classic four but whatever it's just a really creative and fun little

idea I guess they didn't have to be funny I guess also when I say Dance I mean murder Mario danced so hard the blooper died on to world three they go which by the way this game is going at Breakneck Pace Mario does a couple dances someone dies and onto the next area I guess they land at an amusement park and are immediately gate kept by these Hammer Bros who are like if you want to get in you're gonna have to dance through US toad runs away because he says his legs are too stubby to

dance which means the gatekeeping worked on him Mario's canonically immune to gatekeeping so he stepped up to the challenge and I would like to mention these Hammer Bros highest combo was 30 which is not good at all I'm just saying I would be embarrassed if I tried to gate keep someone in perform like that just saying Mario and Toad enter the amusement park to see Wario on a roller coaster with the music key they yell out follow that roller coaster with which is like ah if only there were rails to indicate where it's going but

then they make probably the worst decision you could when you're trying to catch someone on a roller coaster which is get on the other roller coaster cart if you're getting on a roller coaster to catch someone already on the roller coaster that doesn't work roller coasters don't catch up to each other that's called a collision so they make haste again the chase of a lifetime and they end up running into a haunted house where Mario needs to dance to fend off the ghosts to avoid being possessed is this what you have to do to close

Ouija boards people forget to say goodbye to they make it out and start the chase again also Wario I don't think you should be saying this when you're clearly in tackling distance they Corner him at the ferris wheel he pulls the if you can beat me on dance battle you can have the key thing again we beat him and hey third music Key by the way Wario has one of the best songs in the game the two arrive at World 4 where the Skybox is very visible and everything's all snowy and blistering toad is about

to freeze to death in the funniest anime Asian I've ever seen as Mario does not care but they make it to the top of the mountain where they find the last music key lodged in this giant froozies head toad goes up to him and is like Hey sir can we have that and gets hard ignored so he turns to Mario and is like do you see that I was ignored Mario kill him which the freezie did not like which being honest is very reasonable I would be in the same boat if I gave someone the

silent treatment and then I overhear them put a hit on me even though toad is clearly in the wrong Mario dance fights him anyway and during the very fun upbeat song The phrasey has seen slowly melting as Mario pelts him with Fireballs the giant freezie dies tragically they get the keys and Toad cheers never once taking the time to self-reflect and realize how unreasonable he just was and now this beautiful innocent creature is dead because of it they fly back to travel Towers to put the music keys back when Bowser punches toad in the throat

and takes all the keys back to his castle oh my goodness there's a secret world 5 secrets in Mario game who would have guessed that after Mario dances to quite possibly the strangest Mario Bros song I've ever heard [Music] they infiltrated the castle and grabbed the keys before Bowser is able to use them then Toad's like you're going down Bowser Mario kill him and then the most Hype Dance battle begins have you ever seen Bowser do an aerial while Mario's busting it down in front of him well there you go this song unironically goes crazy

hard too the premise of this battle is while you're hitting the arrows you also have to hit these rocket parts and when you get all three it builds into this space rocket that flies over an astral squishes Bowser and I would like to say for the record I think it is incredibly impressive he's able to take a giant hammer to the head and immediately jump up and keep dancing like a champ that's some incredible stamina right there but the song ends and Bowser collapses the day is once again saved thanks to Mario and the sociopathic

megalomaniac that is towed they asked Bowser why he wanted the music keys in the first place and he's like I'll be honest I just wanted to fix my my tone deafness poor guy just wants to become a K-pop Star I guess that struck a chord within Mario because then he just uses all the keys himself and releases all the music power into the world and they all act like he's a hero and everything is happily and sparkly in the end and how it's supposed to be used this whole time which could be cute if it

wasn't so stupid and also invalidates every single organism they slaughtered to get to this point was this a good game not even close it was surprisingly hard but it's not because the game is hard I think it's really just because the developers didn't know anything about DDR if they did they sure as hell didn't make a game that seemed like it they don't indicate which arrows are on what beats which is really important in DDR well okay technically they do tell you what arrow is on a full beat and which are on half beats but

they switch back and forth between the same colors the whole time see these two squares tell me which one is which one they're flying across the screen and all intertwined with each other in other words [ __ ] you enemy Arrow arrows are impossible to see because they're not bright and neon so they blend into the background which is distracting enough already for me the calibration was wrong so I went into the settings to fix it and instead of having a way to recalibrate it manually or something you have to input plus or minus which

is like my sweet spot ended up at plus nine and I have no idea what that means I could go on and on but I think you get the point do I hate this game nope I absolutely loved it and it's all because of the stupid rotoscope dance animations how could you call this bad Nintendo will never let this happen again so I think we need to step up and cherish this game because it's a miracle it exists in the first place plus the songs except that weird one near the end are actually fire and

I'm dying on that Hill proudly hello everyone I hope you've been doing well I have been doing quite well myself um nothing to say this time uh I'm working on a lot of like fun stuff but I can't talk about it yet so stay tuned stay tuned alright bye-bye