so empaths people that can feel other people's energy this is both a superpower and sometimes a curse on the other side of the spectrum because you gain out of survival this amazing ability to tune to everybody else you know when you walk into a room how people feel about you you know how the friends in your life feel when you say you don't want to do something if you were to say no to something to do with a family member or something there's an expectation there and you can feel feel that and when you feel
that it doesn't even feel like it's their energy it feels like it's your energy so what happens is as this survival mechanism that we had as a kid what we did when we were younger normally before 5 years old as we move the energy from the bottom three chakras of the root sacral and solar plexus we move it up into this amazing ability to perceive of what everyone else is thinking and feeling and then what happens is we start modifying ourself so that we can then act according to what we'll get that validation and approval
is this making sense so this is the pattern that stems from that of a deeper core of some form of Abandonment wound feeling abandoned feeling like Mom or Dad physically left and weren't able to meet my needs as a kid so I first learned about this years years ago I went through a whole phase where I was my dad growing up my dad was a people pleaser nice guy he still is people please are nice guy where it's like he's very nice and everyone would say he's such a nice guy but he would attract people
it's the funny thing sometimes about this people pleaser nice guy kind of empathic thing is that sometimes they attract narcissists and if you empaths over attracted narcissist it happens there's actually something to be to learn from narcissism by the way the thing to learn the thing that a narcissist does that an that attracts an empath is an empath wants to give themselves wants to tune themselves give themselves to then get the validation the approval and the safety of something on the external then on the other side of the spectrum you have that of a narcissist
who's on the toxic side of feeling in their self what they do is they will manipulate everyone else around them to get their own needs met and what happens is then they are actually in a strong sense of self even though it's toxic but the empath over here doesn't really even have a strong sense of self so empaths attract narcissists to learn something from them to learn how to be in their own sense of self and the narcissists will constantly test the empath until they get the lesson and sometimes the lesson is no no more
I'm out which can be hard sometimes as an empath but nonetheless I look at my dad's situation my dad nice guy people pleaser good at what he does fire investigator very analytical thinker super nice guy and um like confident in his work space like very good at what he does but also kind of like moves his frame according to other people then you have the ex stepmom over here who's controlling abusive narcissistic and just angry and why did they attract each other and even to this day I can see because they have two kids together
which are my sisters my half sisters same dad different mom I can tell that the ex- Stepmom is constantly testing my dad's boundaries and I can tell sometimes I'm trying not to like you know get in there and like tell him what to do but I can tell that the answer for him is actually stand up for himself stand up for his kids and understand that as he does that he he learns more than just because thing is kind of like oh I just don't want to deal with it just want to I don't want
to deal with it don't want to deal with her just make her happy do what she needs even though it kind of feels fake you know so back in the day I was looking at this about two or three years ago I was I was living in Sedona and I was looking at these energies and it was hard for me to look at because I realized there was a certain part of myself that was people pleaser there was a certain part of myself that was like that was like modifying what was authentic for me to
make other people happy I would find it very hard to say no to things that I didn't really want to do and an example of this when I started to learn it was I started to do the frame technique which has to do with feeling inside of your body feeling the separation between you and a candle flame and as you feel safe in your body your vibration begins to raise but this one time when I was in Sedona um I had this experience where or no I was actually at the time in Vegas and I
had a friend whose birthday party it was and she was going to uh Telly ride in Colorado and she had a friends coming and it was a 10-hour drive from Vegas to get to this place in Telly ride you could not you could not fly straight in a Telly ride you had to go to Denver 4-Hour flight and then drive four hours it was just wasn't easy to get to no matter what and at the time I was getting ready for two three weeks later going to Costa Rica to do the plant medicine Retreats so
I was busy I had a photo shoot with like a a a cool photographer that was like hard to book and because I couldn't say no to my friend because I identified as like a good friend and I couldn't say no I ended up in Vegas I was going back and forth from Vegas to Sedona at the time because I couldn't say no what I ended up doing is buying a car like I was like I might as well buy I I ended up buying a Range Rover driving from Las Vegas all the way to
Denver because I couldn't say no I spent you know three or four days here actually had a ton of fun but I re recog recognized on the way home from this 2 or 3 day you know 3 4 days in and then I'm I'm heading back to Sedona I was going back to the Sedona house after that which is like a 10 to 12 hour drive I'm in this I'm in this uh it's snowing and I have a Range Rover but there's no snow tires as I'm driving I just keep seeing sign after sign after
sign that says do not enter unless you have snow tires I don't have snow tires I'm going around this Cliff I'm going around this cliff and it's like as I break the car is just sliding and there's like Cliffs and so I had to drive extremely slow going all the way back instead of 10 hours it took like 15 hours to get back it was the whole time I'm driving back even though it was fun there were there were only four friends Matt was there a couple other friends were there like 15 of the people
that were invited didn't come because they're also like entrepreneurs and stuff and they just didn't have time to take that much time away to go so it was funny I was kind of aware of this I'm like oh it's not that the other people were bad friends they just had businesses or whatever they they didn't have the bandwidth to get there because it was so hard to get to the whole drive home I'm thinking about how dangerous this is how I'm in a car that I spent $50,000 on because I couldn't say no and I'm
like this is silly and I started really looking at myself here I'm like this is kind of a funny situation and what ended up happening is I started more so I started more so operating from a different Paradigm I started bringing the energy more so inside of my body and I would ask myself and tune to myself before I would make a decision and if somebody else had a problem with that I would be able through the frame technique of feeling the self vers other I'd be able to delineate and see that if someone else
does have a problem with it that's their stuff not something I need to manage to get their approval or validation if they feel tension because I said no to something I couldn't do that's not my thing that I have to manage tension is not a bad thing and when I was going through that transformation out of the people pleaser into being grounded within my sense of self that came with it a whole bunch of lessons of people asking me to do things that came with uh like me saying no without giving reasons you know like
you ever said no to something you feel like you either have to make up a lie or you have to like kind of like bypass it in some way instead of that I would just say no without needing to have a reason and a lot of this came when it comes to sitting setting boundaries with me tuning more into my own body and feeling the separation between me and someone else me and and a situation even so back when I went to that Costa Rica Place back in the day that I was mentioning there was
a speaker there her name was Dr Sue or is Dr Sue mortar and she was teaching this interesting this interesting concept and she said what she did is I did this at the last event she said when we got there was like only 3 40 of us and what she said is everyone in the crowd send me energy right now send me energy right now send me energy right now and as they did she said that energetically she like taught energy and uh like the scientific site of energy she's like a TED talk and stuff
like that so it's very interesting from a scientific perspective send me energy send me energy send me energy and as people were sending her energy she's like I can feel it's like repels and it would make her like back up and then what she did is what she would do is she had everyone bring their energy back bring your energy back bring it inside of your body feel the separation between you and the person next to you feel the space and separation between you and the stage and as people did that she said there's like
this magnetic effect to it you can feel that magnetism because someone's in their own sense of self anytime people pleaser nice guy whatever those terms are of wanting something from someone else you're literally projecting your energy out of your body onto someone else and then asking them to have the burden to make you happy that's why it's unattractive it's it's attachment it's attached to what someone else is doing to get something and in the same way we are all going to look and I'm not like this isn't something we have to feel shame about or
feel bad about but in the same way the narcissist will manipulate other people to get their needs met it's important to recognize that sometimes people pleasing and tuning to other people it's inauthentic and it's manipulation it's manipulating other people to get what you do the narcissist gets a bad rep because it's so obvious of what they're doing to other people but the empath people pleaser that gives to then get is also pretty manipulative it's the same energy it's just different means from getting their needs met one says I will give to then get the other
one says I will take and demand does it does this make sense does anyone see what I'm saying here so so noticing this is powerful awareness is always the first step now the inner how many of you would like to learn a little bit more about the inner child Dynamic to this that can be healed looked into and felt yeah okay we'll go into it I guess so I wasn't going to but okay so when it comes to abandonment when it comes to feeling the the feeling of feeling alone the feeling of mom and dad
weren't there they may have physically been there but maybe emotionally they couldn't help you meet your needs what happens is at a certain age at a certain feeling we feel alone why sometimes you see people that you know they they might leave their the kids crying because if they attend to them then you know they're going to keep they're going to get used to that which is kind of silly because it's like the the nurturing of that is the healing of that there's a video when I had that session with Mark wam who wrote the
book it didn't start with you who who uh my friend Bridget told me is like an incredible teach like coach he he took two three months to get a session with him and then I luckily I got a cancellation he had for last Monday so I got in like a month earlier than I was supposed to have the session and I was hoping that happened because I was hoping I could have the session before this live event because I wanted to share with all of you what I learned so yeah welcome so Mark wam wrote
the book it didn't start with you which is all about how we inherent genetic Trauma from Family Lines prior to us a lot of it has to do with mostly the energy of us inside of our mom when and then our mom inside of her mom it's main it's very strongly connected through the mom side of the family and what happens is this energy is on autopilot and until we do the work like all of you are doing you are now becoming aware of these patterns you're becoming aware of your childhood stuff and you're able
to heal it so that you break the cycle so that your kids don't have to carry with it too have any of you there's this uh video I wish we had a projector here cuz I would love to show this video it's anyone ever heard of the still face experiment anyone ever heard of that so the still it's a still face baby experiment where what they do is they show this video this video or they show this uh it's like it's like from the '90s but basically what it is is it shows the relationship between
a mom and the baby and it say baby girl and what happens is is the mom is validating the baby like oh like like like like like encouraging it responding to it the baby's pointing the mom looks over just like completely like at one with the baby just the regulating and mirroring the baby's emotions the baby feels seen and safe and this baby and that just have this beautiful connection then what the mom does is the mom turns around has a still face and just looks back at the baby with no emotion whatsoever so what
happens is the baby goes through a process where the baby's like what the is going on you know why is mom not mirroring my emotions she's not regulating the emotions the energy with me then what the baby does is the baby protests the baby protests where it's like it'll try pointing and then the mom doesn't point the baby starts to get anxious starts to get itchy it's like why is why is mom not mirroring my emotions why does she have no expression at all so what ends up happening is the baby then spine will kind
of go crazy like it literally feels itchy in its own skin without having the mirroring of that of the of the mother so then what happens is the lady looks away again and then comes back and starts mirring again to heal that energy so what happened for many of us when it comes to abandonment is what happened is at a certain point there was some form of still face some form of Abandonment some form of feeling like there's some form of wall but there was never the reintroduction of the mother coming back to mirror it
again to heal it but then what we do is if we did not feel soothed if we did not feel held if we did not feel nurtured then we look to the outside and we believe that we need to be we need to do something in order to get that because we've let go of believing we are naturally it this is when we move into our selfworth is based on what we do does this making sense so when a baby is there a baby is just worthy the mother is mirroring it the the the the
baby is being validated nurtured and soothed if it's not getting its needs met it then says what do I need to do what do I need to do do I need to be more quiet do I need to give something to Mom do I need to regulate mom's emotions do I need to help parent like do I need to uh ease tension in the family and if I don't do that then my needs aren't met I don't feel soothed I don't feel held I don't feel nurtured so the key and the healing to this process
is becoming aware of how we within ourselves can feel that nurturing and connect to an energy that is greater than even our own mother so there is that of an energy within our reality of archetypes anyone ever heard of archetypes the archetype so even though mom or dad the dad uh the the masculine energy because our parents to us represent relationships and then one will represent masculine feminine or masculine energy one will represent feminine energy and how we relate to that very much overlays how we relate to everyone else in our life does that make
sense so what happens is until we become aware of these energies until we look at these energies they stay in autopilot even though mom and us might not have the best connection or your dad and you may not have the best connection and you might say well it might you you you can work on healing that connection with them which I do believe it can be very powerful but not everyone can meet us in certain ways I guess and I know there's many different people here with many different Dynamics but we're blessed in our reality
to have that of these Universal archetypes because we're all one Consciousness that we can all connect to we have the Divine mother the Divine mother it's talked about in the book autobiography of a yogi anyone read that book autobiography of Yogi is an amazing book from Yogananda talks about the Divine mother talks a lot it talks a lot about the Divine mother this Divine archetype of love and nurturing and support you can the Divine mother could very much be mother Gaia herself which is a just unconditionally loving no matter how much stuff that we do
to it no much how careless we are it's just always recycling Reinventing itself so that it can support us in this reality the Divine mother could be planet Earth Mother Gaia uh the Divine masculine can be the Stillness the space can be God Source energy the universe there's many names we can give to these no matter what spiritual you know dialect you prefer these are just energies and when it comes to the Divine father it could be the son some people say the galactic center there's many different analogies that you can use for this but
it represents the Stillness it represents the the space it represents the protection the the solidity the a rock that's just stable so there are different archetypes that we can use in our reality to connect to and when I was going through that process a couple years ago of healing one thing I did a lot of was go in nature went in nature to clear out my energy field to connect with Mother Gaia as I would do that I felt so much more free I would feel so much more nurtured I'd feel so much more supportive
so when meditation that we do in a little bit we're going to be going through that process of connecting to the Divine mother and allowing that transmission to literally reparent us because if we didn't feel soothed nurtured and held as kids we will look to that for the outside and it's until we do that to ourselves until we do that to ourselves that the the energy stays unintegrated so the key is holding breathing with our inner child breathing with our inner self breathing nurturing and soothing that aspect of our s that wasn't held soothed or
nurtured as a kid if you want to wire in everything you learned in this video in a very visceral powerful way and also to heal your own inner child really be present with a part of you that may not feel seen heard or soothed growing up then do the inner child meditation it's completely free you can download it by clicking the link below or going to ay.com child and listen into that meditation for 21 days and watch how much your life begins to change now if you want to learn more about the still face experiment
where I break down the actual video and show you more on that you can check that video out right here
