welcome to wall-e where the planet is trash egg planet Earth is literally trash well not literally it's covered in garbage okay and it's too toxic to live on so humans were forced to abandon ship and go live in space are these big massive spaceships produced by a company called Benin and they left behind a bunch of what's called Wally's to clean up the place so they can come back in a few years time and fix up earth now all these Wally's are dead except for one our main boy Wally here he's still kicking cleaning up
the earth for our reef lasses with his little cockroach buddy he survived all this time by hiding from dust storms in a bigger wall-e and taking replacement parts from other a non-functioning Wally's so he's basically living inside his fallen brothers and stealing their body parts I don't know why I was so compelled to point that out so he goes home where he keeps a bunch of [ __ ] to interest him and deposit some more interesting stuff that he found on his day and that is some [ __ ] right there because there's no way
he found just six spoons and seven forks for all these years anyway he's playing a random old movie and we find out they're a boy Wally here he's looking for love he's looking for some McLovin baby he lonely you know when a dust storm hits him he closes the door goes to sleep wakes up next morning with a super low Barry level so he goes to charge himself up from the Sun then heads off to work after nearly killing his only friend so he at work compacting some trash and finding some random [ __ ]
that he wants to take home with him then he finds a pal and so he digs it at the ground and puts in a shoe to take home with him how we knew to do that and not just rip it out the [ __ ] ground I don't know in fact now that I think about it how the [ __ ] is a plant even grow inside a fridge they know someone in there so he goes home when he finds a red dot and apparently he has a built-in cat module or some [ __ ]
because he runs after that dog and as it turns out that dog is a landing mark of one of Elon Musk's fancy self landing Rockets he digs a hole to the ground and buries himself Savoie burning to death from the [ __ ] flaming rocket then the rocket opens up and releases wait for it an egg then it [ __ ] up and once again so he doesn't burn to death he hides himself in the ground which honestly I don't think you should survive this or the one before it's just no way he can dig
a hole deep enough to escape the heat at that [ __ ] rocket and as much as I love this movie there is just so many occasions where Wally should have just flat out [ __ ] died so to get that out of the way I'm gonna show him all he right now now back to they're gonna scan the place looking for something and it will kill anything that moves okay I understand that they're playing on the gag that cockroaches can survive a nuclear blast and [ __ ] but I'm pretty sure by that they
mean the radiation not the blast itself this thing should be dead right right anyway the Engel set up some murder wall you multiple times before decides that Wally is not a threat that however does not stop Wally from looking at her like I'm attack data aids so the egg keep scanning [ __ ] while ignoring while he was being a creepy stalker right now then it gets frustrated because the aim fine water came looking for and after getting stuck in a magnet it blows up and destroys five oil tankers while he sees this and he
decides that now is the time for him to shoot his shot baby he's going for it and he finds out that her name is Eva that's right it's a she I think I don't know then a dust storm hits a wall I decide to take her back to his pad for safety I'd say this is going perfectly for Wally so far so it takes her home when the craziest [ __ ] tries to blow a hole through his wall and he shows her some of the stuff in his interesting collection of random [ __ ]
and he shows her the movie from earlier and tried to teach her how to [ __ ] dance but this crazy [ __ ] nearly ruins his house and almost kills him listen my guy I know you're lonely but I'm crazy anyway she only busts his eye up and he goes over to stuff fingers replacement part and fixed himself easy he tries to hold her hand and she's like nah see she's the hand-holding part in the movie and he shows her one last thing the plant and turns out that that plant is exactly what she's
looking for so she sucks it up and shuts down and while he's like the [ __ ] just happened and he's super concerned so he tries to turn her back on to no avail then he cares for her and then goes on dates with her unconscious body no usual till one day he decides to go back to work on on that day Elon Musk's rocket comes back to take Eva so he rushes back and tells his buddy to stay put while he hangs on for dear life while they exit the trash filled atmosphere and travel
through space till they get to the axiom which is the main and biggest human calling spaceship place in space call me for people yeah sounds about right the rocket ducts inside the spaceship and lines up a bunch of Eva's to get cleaned by a bunch of robots at wall he keeps annoying then the five-o takes while he's Eva because she got the plant so he follows only to trail of muddy tracks behind him and the main cleaning robot really wants to clean it but he has to stay on a predetermined line so he like [
__ ] the system and starts cleaning up the tracks but he does not start from the beginning [ __ ] idiot so while he's still following Eva he [ __ ] at traffic then he gets his first glimpse of the modern human or basically fat blobs of mass stuck to their hopper chairs with their eyes glued to the screens of their infotainment systems completely oblivious to their surroundings much like me except my chair doesn't flow so one of the fat [ __ ] gets knocked over Molly helps him up then he cuts out train the
EVAs on and he tries to get to her but this fat [ __ ] is in the way so he's like hey hey hey lady woman woman oh [ __ ] yeah hi I'm worried can you please move out the [ __ ] way I'm trying to get to my girl thank you so the five-o escort Wally and Eva to the captain's headquarters and as it turns out humans [ __ ] up the earth so bad that they spent 700 years in space and their bone density right now is basically non-existent because I spent so
long and microgravity however they made a pretty goddamn obvious that they have some sort of artificial gravity so this shouldn't happen this doesn't make any sense I am confusion anyhow now that there's finally signs of life on Earth they can go back rebuild it so they start up Eva and while this dip she's trying to figure out how to read a book Eva finds out that Wally has followed her a year from Earth's then the captain figures out that they have to put a plant in some plant activation chamber thing that will activate the let's
go home protocol that's I'm calling it so they open up Eva and they find nothing plants gone and the cat is like well I guess we ain't going nowhere and thinks that eva is a defective robot so he sent her to get fixed and he gets startled by wall-e and while he's like sup I'm Wally nice to meet you in here cinder so the captain also orders for Wally to be cleaned even while I get to the robot fixing place and they start running Diagnostics on Eva I think but that's not what it looks like
so Wally he thinks they're torturing her so he frees himself and then goes to free Eva and then accidentally fees all the [ __ ] up robots on the place who praise him because he freed them and they run wild with him in the streets till they get stopped by the Popo who deem Eva and Wally fugitives of the law so even thinks all right to an escape pod so she can send them back to earth but then the first shows up with the plant and they want to send it off into space and blow
it up using the pod self-destruct mechanism and while he's like hey Eva check it out the plant so Wally accidentally gets lost shot with a plant and even goes after him while he freaks out tries to get out the [ __ ] pod but he explodes and that sorry he does no time my boy while he made it out in time with a fire extinguisher and he flies over to Eva and not only did he live but he also got the pair went maybe and eva is chuffed to bits so she hugs him and their
heads do this little thing and I have no idea what that means but he likes it then they flout and space and have some fun cuz they ain't in no rush in or down on the [ __ ] they get back on the ship and all the wild wall-e just really wanted to hold her hand like in the movie but she's hyper focus on getting that plan up to the captain so she tells him to stay put while she goes up to trash you to the captain who has been binge watching videos about Earth ever
since he analyzed the dirt that while you put his hand the captain takes the plant and puts a projector thing on Eva's head to see what earth is like right now and he finds out that it is as I said before garbage so he's like we have to go back and care for Earth and fix it up and [ __ ] well even I get to see how wall-e cared for her when she was shut off and it is cute as [ __ ] then the auto pilot comes down to take the plan away from
the captain because it is revealed that a few years after the axiom took off the president of Benin or the president of America whatever I don't care some dude sent a message saying that theirs is to [ __ ] to come back and it's way too toxic never come back and he basically left the chip the chip and he basically left to sip the sip and he basically left the ship in charge of the autopilot but now obvious is not that toxic because boom plane but a pilot don't care so I guess the Paulista for
the plant found a trash chute but lo and behold everybody cuz Wally's clowing up the trash chute and he tries to keep the plant away from the autopilot while eva is held back by the police but the autopilot electrocutes him and somehow although he was literally struck by lightning twice before and came out fine this damages him [ __ ] logic anyway while he gets swung on a trash and they turn off Eva and throw her down with him so a little while later we cut to the garbage dump where Eva gets rebooted by mice
the [ __ ] are those things even wall-e get trash compacted by bigger Wally's but this time they're wall Oz because they're on the axiom and Ian Wally stands for Earth's and these are unimportant details why am I talking about this moving on because they're about to get thrown into space but you remember that stupid little cleaning robot I was so insistent on cleaning his tracks well that's one persistent stupid little cleaning robot because he found wall-e and he wants his ass so he Sprint's over to the airlock doors and wedged himself in there and
with the help of the bigger wall oz Eva and Wally gets saved now throughout all this I have just one question how the [ __ ] do you find materials for anything on the ship if you throw out this much trash so while he's got some sort of [ __ ] circuit board or some [ __ ] which means he's dying pull up that's the damage man while I shouldn't even be functional I can stick my finger through that [ __ ] and eva is white as [ __ ] scouring the trash looking for a
place in parts that all won't work so wally hazard the plant so she can put it in the plant chamber return things so they can go back to play on the earth but she's like nah let's hold hands chime time here ain't no time for that [ __ ] we gotta go back to Planet Earth find me some replacement parts dumbass so that finally clicks in her head and they bust that out there and they [ __ ] up the police with the help of the defective robots the captain flights the autopilot he opens up
the plant chamber go home thing and even while they're flying over to her things so they can put the plan in it but last second the autopilot tilts the entire ship to the side preventing them from doing that and knocking the plant out of there hints and not even know why this is his feature in the ship I mean you're standing still in [ __ ] space why do you need to do this why is this an option anyway Eva sets wall-e down and goes to look for the plant but then gets occupied by saving
a bunch of people from a falling train then the autopilot presses the button that closes the plan hatch but feeble little while he's there and he's trying to hold the hatch open with all his might then the autopilot presses the button hard as we all know pressing the button harder is a hundred percent effective and getting her thing done better and the hatch closes harder and it wedges Wally and destroys him and all our hearts [ __ ] sink but then the captain stands up I don't know how he has celery sticks four bones in
his legs but that doesn't matter he stands up he turns off the autopilot levels the ship Eva puts the plan through the gap in the plan thing and sees the extent of Wally's damage and he's he's [ __ ] then they hyper jump back to earth they get there Eva takes one and she zooms over mm find replacement parts and tries to fix him up as fast as he can she's performing open-heart surgery on this [ __ ] at supersonic speeds then she blast the hole through his roof so he can charge via solar panels
which like why just taking up at the roof well you have to [ __ ] him blow up my man's house like that come on dude anyway he choices up and turns on and he does not recognize her she's gone man there's no more Wally the lights are on but no one's home so she tries to jog his memory with some his old stuff but it doesn't work man he just compacts and that's one strong like Bob what the [ __ ] doesn't matter he goes out and find some more trash to compact and then
she goes over one last time to try and shake it out of him but nothing so she holds his hand and rest her head against his and then that little spark happens and I still have no clue what it does or what it means but I sure as hell don't give a [ __ ] because it brought Wally back baby and the movie ends with the humans being able to rebuild the earth and all that fun jazz but who cares will you the important thing here is was all good tonight n ferritin anybody who hates
us when we can suck it they can't even Gare ferritin [Music] [Music]
