Everything in my life felt out of control, except my eating. Everyone lied to me about my weight. They said I was thin; I knew that wasn't true.
I felt empty, so I ate. Then I felt guilty, so I got rid of it. Once I started eating, I couldn't stop, no matter what anyone said or did.
These are the voices of feeding and eating disorders. These affect millions of Americans and usually begin during adolescence. Self-image, food, eating, and body weight each become a source of serious anxiety for people, and they experience distorted thinking and behaviors that cause problems in their lives.
These disorders can even be life-threatening. I know; one of these voices is mine. My own diagnosis was anorexia nervosa.
I know now that it can be one of the most dangerous of all mental health disorders. I'm so glad that I got help. Anorexia is diagnosed when someone restricts food intake and loses weight until he or she is significantly below a healthy body weight.
In my case, I got really underweight, although I didn't see it that way. My menstrual cycle stopped and I was exhausted. I didn't worry about those things because I also felt great.
Feeling in control of something in my life made it easy to deny there was a problem. A lot of people with anorexia feel the same way. But if it's left untreated, anorexia can cause some really serious medical conditions like bone and heart problems, and even lead to death.
There are other feeding and eating disorders, including binge eating and bulimia nervosa. In binge eating disorder, people eat large amounts of food in a really short period of time. They feel out of control and helpless about their desire to eat, yet they can't stop.
Binge eating disorder can also lead to a lot of medical problems, like obesity, high blood pressure and cholesterol, and diabetes. People say they feel disgusted with and ashamed of themselves, which may be a result of the behavior, but also might promote the behavior. Bulimia nervosa also includes binge eating.
Feeling upset with themselves, people then try to compensate with purging behaviors. Purging can be done through intentionally vomiting, using laxatives, or exercising excessively. People develop problems with their teeth from vomiting, including worn or decaying enamel and pain, and can also experience a sore throat, dehydration, or stomach problems.
As with other disorders, people with bulimia also feel a great deal of shame and try to hide their binging and purging. When I was a teenager, my parents got me medical treatment that included a stay in the hospital. I didn't want to at the time, but now I know it was the right thing to do.
I was in a medical crisis. A dietician worked with my treatment team to help create a healthy eating plan for me to follow. I also participated in CBT-E, or Enhanced Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
It's specifically created for eating disorders and helped me change my thinking around food, eating, and my weight. I learned that I had a pretty unrealistic image of what I looked like, and CBT-E helped me understand and slowly change it. My family was also involved in my treatment, which really helped.
Each piece of the program I did is backed by evidence saying it works. Other therapies are proven to work, as well. Interpersonal therapy, or IPT, helps people understand their eating behaviors, as well as how they interact with people in their lives.
Finally, some people with eating disorders get benefits from medication, which helps with those stubborn thoughts, as well as the depression and anxiety that often comes along with these diagnoses. My experience with anorexia nervosa was life-changing. I understand now that food can become more than just food for some people; it can take over thoughts and feelings.
But with evidence-based treatment, they can get their lives back and develop healthy relationships with food. I know; I did.
