gaslighting gaslighting takes place when someone seeks to make another person doubt their own perception of reality their own memory and their sanity the term originates from a 1938 play called Gaslight in which a husband manipulates his wife into believing she is going insane by dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying that the lights are flickering when she points it out gaslighting undermines the victim's confidence in their own judgment by deploying confusing lies withholding information and Shifting the blame onto another person while at the same time denying their side of the story and
claiming that what the other person is saying is a lie guilt tripping guilt tripping is when a manipulator makes a victim feel bad about themselves their actions or lack of action in a particular situation for example if a toxic and negative person isn't invited to a friend's party and he finds out about this he might say to the friend I can't believe you didn't invite me to your party I thought we were closer than that to instill feelings of guilt and ensure that he will be invited next time isolation isolation is when a manipulator cuts
a victim off from their friends or family making sure that no support network exists to interfere with the manipulator's plans a manipulator does this by undermining the relationship the victim has with their loved ones and slowly turning them against their friends and family by convincing them that the people they know aren't good for their well-being on top of this a manipulator creates dependency with their victim by making them feel like they need their support or approval instilling fear into the victim so that they think they can't survive without them this tactic is often used by
abusive Partners Cults and online Predators love bombing love bombing is a deceptive tactic where the manipulator showers their victim with affection attention and praise to make them falsely believe that they are loved using excessive compliments gifts and frequent talks of extravagant future plans together the manipulator expresses intense emotions to make the victim feel like they are the most important person in their abuser's life when in reality the only reason they are receiving such false positivity is so that the abuser can quickly gain as much power and control as possible on top of this people who
love bomb to manipulate will get the victim heavily attached to the praise and then take it away at a moment's notice to cause the victim to Crave it and be more susceptible to the abuser's requests historically speaking it is said that Adolf Hitler used love bombing techniques on his wife Eva Brun to keep her close to him while he pursued his destructive political Ambitions playing the victim this is a commonly used tactic that even non-abusive or non-manipulative people can ACC ly used to avoid taking responsibility for something it is where a manipulator acts like they
are the ones being wronged or hurt when in reality they are the guilty ones by blaming other people for their actions and seeking sympathy through the exaggeration of their problems all while avoiding taking any responsibility and admitting to their wrongdoing playing the victim can be a very effective strategy because it requires the other person to attack the manipulator and tell them that they are completely wrong in order to attempt to regain control of the narrative some something that most people don't want to do threats or coercion threats come in many different forms firstly the obvious
physical threat of violence or damage to someone's property if the victim doesn't do exactly what the manipulator wants then there's emotional threats such as threatening to leave someone in a relationship over a small or Petty Feud or threatening to spread rumors about someone that could damage their reputation Financial threats are when someone withholds financial support or threatens their monetary stability which hackers love to use against companies when they successfully pull off a data breach in fact this happened recently to Colonial pipeline a major fuel pipeline operator in the United States who was targeted by a
ransomware attack in which hackers demanded a payment of $4.4 million in Bitcoin in exchange for the decryption key financial threats can also quickly turn into legal threats with one party threatening to sue another and finally there are social threats in which a manipulator threatens to damage the victim's reputation with lies smear campaigns and slander which we will talk about in more detail later in this video Silent Treatment the silent treatment is a form of manipulation that typically takes place in relationships but can also take place in the workplace among friends and online it's the practice
of withholding information or communication with an individual as a form of punishment a manipulator May withhold eye contact or ignore their victim's presence and existence entirely even when in the same room as them as a controlling tactic it is very similar to ghosting ghosting is a very similar treatment into the silent treatment as both tactics involve a lack of communication between the manipulator and the victim however the main difference is that while the silent treatment is used for punishment and control ghosting is seen as a passive and disrespectful way to end a relationship or friendship
permanently while ghosting is not always used as an intended form of manipulation it does lead to a lack of closure causing the victim to feel rejected abandoned and Confused shaming shaming like threats comes in many different forms firstly there is public humiliation where a manipulator makes negative comments about a victim in front of other people or online in order to embarrass them a manipulator May compare the victim un favorably to other people make them feel inadequate and inferior blame them for their own actions mock them to make them feel foolish and ridiculous or openly exclude
them from social activities and events triangulation this is a tactic in which the manipulator brings in a third party to create jealousy or competition within the victim creating a feeling that they need to compete for the manipulator's attention the manipulator may use the third party to make the victim feel jealous by flirting with the third party and spending more time with them intentionally excluding the victim from their activities the manipulator feeds the idea of competition in the victim's mind sometimes by even spreading rumors about the victim to the third party to turn them against each
other and create even more conflict all of this puts the victim in a state of mind where they are much easier to be controlled by the manipulator or even by the third party aggressive jokes jokes can often hold much deeper meanings and intentions being used to manipulate a victim in several different ways writer Shaha Arabi discusses this in their article Thought Catalog writing that quote covert narcissists enjoy making malicious remarks at your expense these are usually dressed up as just jokes so that they can get away with saying appalling things while still maintaining an innocent
cool demeanor yet anytime you are outraged at an insensitive harsh remark you are accused of having no sense of humor these jokes go far past the line taking insults sarcasm gas slighting and exclusionary jokes to a wildly different level then there are jokes that take place at social events that are designed to isolate the person on the receiving end of them turning them into the perceived fool and causing everyone around them to become an aggressor emotional blackmail emotional blackmail is when the manipulator uses threats guilt or other forms of emotional manipulation to control and manipulate
the victim withholding affection is a common tactic where the manipulator seizes affection and support to the victim until they comply with their demands the manipulator may also make make promises or commitments to the victims only to break them later projection projection is the act of attributing your own thoughts and feelings onto someone else making them think they are guilty of what you feel or have done this is also known as victim blaming manipulators often blame their victims for doing things they are guilty of while at the same time failing to realize the correlation between their
accusations against other people versus their own actions deflection is another tactic that manipulators use and it's very similar to projection however usually in deflection the manipulator is fully aware of their own hypocrisy and is deflecting it to someone else to avoid facing responsibility whereas in projection the manipulator lacks self-awareness and is subconsciously Shifting the blame smear campaigns the awareness of smear campaigns has become a heavily discussed Topic in recent years unlike many of the other manipulation tactics we've discussed in this video so far smear campaigns aren't usually deployed by One Singular person against another instead
politicians and celebrities frequently accuse the media and the general public of tarnishing their name and image for money and attention by participating in smear campaigns against them smear campaigns involve the use of spreading rumors and gossip about the victim to make them appear untrustworthy and unreliable Often by intentionally misrepresenting their words and twisting their intended meanings to fit a specific agenda character assassination is a big part of a smear campaign because if the victim seems immoral or unethical any attack used against them can be easily Justified Michael Jackson is one celebrity who frequently called out
the media for making him a appear like a pedophile causing many people to brutally attack him in their minds he was a pedophile so any tactic used against him was fair and righteous Donald Trump is another celebrity and politician who spent his 2016 US presidential campaign almost exclusively calling out the media and their attacks against them support for both of these individuals remains heavily divided but regardless of what you personally think about either of them their Wars against the Press are two alleged examples of smear campaigns against one person Shifting the goalposts Shifting the goalposts
is a common tactic used in arguments where the manipulator changes their criteria or standards for success and achievement in order to avoid admitting that they were wrong and taking responsibility for something for example let's say in a job a boss promises their employee a raise if they accomplish a specific task quickly but then when that employee successfully finishes that task on time the boss then decides that they need to do three more tasks to receive the previously promised pay increase or let's say a parent promises their child a reward if they clean the house but
then deny is giving the reward because the kid didn't also get high enough grades in class something that wasn't previously discussed changing the subject manipulators love this quick tactic a lot because the victim can very easily fall for it unless they are quick enough to call it out and keep the conversation focused obviously there are varying degrees of severity with this tactic as well as a lot of the other tactics we've discussed in this video however it's one of many small tricks that if noticed can lead to a victim questioning if there are deeper levels
of manipulation going on at the same time playing on insecurities manipulators love to exploit their victim's fears and anxieties by making them feel insecure and uncertain about themselves as long as their confidence is undermined they will more than likely Fall prey to their manipulator El Ron hubard the founder of Scientology was a well-known historical user of playing into people's insecurities to get them to join his cult he would Target people who were lost and susceptible to his mental paintings of personal transformation and Enlightenment all while exploiting their fears of the unknown world as well as
their fears of getting rejected by their friends and family arguing that in Scientology they would be accepted by the world this made it very easy for him to get tens of thousands of people to submit to his teachings fake moralization this tactic involves a manipulator pretending to have high moral standards and values in order to gain power and control of others on paper nobody likes an authoritative or aggressive person leading them so of course manipulators mask their true intentions and behavior through various methods such as through virtue signaling by publicly supporting a cause or charity
in order order to gain Praise of course manipulators that sit on the moral High Ground engage in hypocritical behavior all the time but unfortunately it's up to the victim to pay attention and call it out which is very difficult to do in most situations making this not an easy tactic to counter infantilization whether it's through a patronizing tone to make the victim feel belittled and disrespected or intense micromanagement of every aspect of their victim's lives manipulators treating their victims like children or infants is done mainly for one reason power and control being treated poorly by
someone else can cause a person to be incredibly demoralized making it difficult for them to muster The Willpower to stand up to their abuser
