if we look at the outcomes from therapy what we begin to realize is that our attitudes our perceptions all of these things actually determine our outcomes so when I perceive that I I'm not very good at a subject how do I feel and how do I respond so when some of the patients that I've worked with unfortunately when they feel like they're not good at something they have been taught right this is crazy they have been taught that no amount of effort will make a difference this is why they're lazy it's because when they were
very young they tried really hard and then they could never make their parents happy so if you can never make your parents happy what do you learn about the value of effort you begin to realize that oh effort is a waste of my time because nothing I ever do will be enough that is crazy this is how you've already been gaslit so the value of therapy is in undoing all of the gaslighting that has been done so far
