do it for yourself

[Music] today is the day let me explain 2 years ago I hit what felt  like my lowest point in life. I parted ways with a partner with whom  I was certain I was going to marry. a 6 and 1 half year relationship that I made my purpose to nurture felt  like it had been for nothing.

I had focused most of my energy in  serving something and someone else and in that process suppressed a  lot of what was important to me. honestly I couldn't see the light at  the end of the tunnel for a while. the days were a haze and  actions really were futile.

I did start to turn a corner after some  months with professional help and it was through that help that I was able to turn  inward and sort of face myself head on. I made a commitment to myself that I  would plant new seeds in old passions. I began to write my own music for the first time I explored film photography after  having been a digital native I spent time Outdoors again I did make one mistake and  that was not bringing any water and most importantly I placed one foot  in front of the other and I did it for me but the one thing I haven't  done yet is start this channel you know having this place where I could  express myself creatively and maybe share some of my experiences and you know maybe  someone resonates with that someone doesn't resonate with it that that kind of thing has  been on my mind for at least the last 10 years I always said I'll I'll do it when I'm  ready or I'll do it when the skills are up to my standards or you know imposter  syndromes a pain in the butt and there's just a lot of of factors that you  know that really try to wear you down and what it's taken is a little bit of  a creative lull in my life as well one in my freelance business to finally say it's  enough you know it's it's time to do this thing but I I think the turning point was two years ago during that breakup when I  found a moment of clarity it was a fall morning in October of  2021 and I needed to clear my head so I took some time to get fresh air at a nearby park I sat down at a park bench to do some breathing  and gather my thoughts and that was when I saw iy do it for yourself you know I think my whole life I've been kind of  overly conscious about what people think about me the way I address the way I speak what I do and you know who I wanted to be was just  it was someone I was scared of I think and even though I'm kind of just starting  out by putting myself in in front of a camera rather than being behind the  camera I think I'm okay with that this was the place and the time where I  said [ __ ] it life is too short and you should chase after what you want to do  in this life get after it and have fun you know I'm uncomfortable nothing wrong with a little discomfort but it helps that  no one's really at this park right now you know this bench has since  been painted over but I think do it for yourself that message is going  to stick around with me for my entire life I might even get it tattooed now all this isn't to say that you  should stop doing things for other people life is too short and it's nice to be warm and you should be considerate to  others and have those qualities however I believe that loving yourself and doing things in service of you is of  equal importance if not more important dust off your camera pick  up your brush whatever it is plant the seeds and tend to them easier said than done but if  you put that first step forward I think you'll thank yourself for it.

[Music] I'm still learning how to do this every  single day but I think any step forward is probably one that's in the right  direction and it's bound to be fruitful so anyway my name is Shawn  and if you've watched this far just know that it means so much  more than my words can even express I'll see you again soon.