كيف تربي أطفالك في زمن التفاهة؟ الدكتور عبدالرحمن الحرمي | بودكاست ميثاق

No parenting approach can succeed without creed. The process of raising children is the jihad of our time. How do I raise my child upon the words of Allah? If I were to leave this world, and there was one single gift I could give him, I would want it to be the words of Allah. How can I leave behind in his heart love for the Qur’an, a deep attachment to it, its memorization, its understanding, and living by it? I say to every mother: What is the center of your daily life, if it is not the rectification

of this generation? "This is the creation of Allah. So show Me what those other than Him have created. Rather, the wrongdoers are in clear error." To the extent that you give, you will receive. Every extra moment we invest in our children will return to us as goodness, it is an investment. My child and your child should be viewed as ongoing charity (ṣadaqah jāriyah). It is as if Luqman is saying to his son: “My son, true faith shows when you are in a place where no one sees you.” The greatest gift I can leave for my

children is righteous friends. Peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings, and peace be upon you and God's mercy and blessings. May God bless you, Sheikh Hisham; may God bless you. Good evening; may God the Exalted grant you goodness. Welcome to the recitation broadcast we named Covenant, for we are speaking about the Covenant between us and our Lord. It is the Book of God, the Mighty and Glorious. So, God willing, we have an engaging and beautiful discussion, a journey to the House of Luqman. Glory be to God; Luqman, peace be upon him, is not

mentioned much in the Qur'an. It refers to a figure in the Qur'an who, perhaps, many people do not notice or even observe in passing. Is he a prophet, or is he Luqman the Wise? Do you have a view about this matter— is he the wise one indeed? The Noble Qur'an treats the story of Luqman, peace be upon him, as part of its guidance and counsel for readers. Let us call it pedagogical in its aims and uses. Therefore, your proposed title is beautiful: A Journey to Luqman’s House, So that we may come to know Luqman better.

He offers advice to his sons, and the admonitions—the prophets’ commandments given to their children. You are always steadfastly immersed in monotheism. What you worship after me, indeed these days. Prophets speak with their own children diligently. About monotheism, today it is as if monotheism is utterly guaranteed for me and my sons, truly within reach; and surely every single one of us will die for monotheism. And this is precisely what we need today as fathers, as caregivers, as teachers; we are thoroughly examining this matter. I have no problem whatsoever, because the boy lives poor and dies poor,

But dies for no god but Allah. Even if he didn't finish school I have a problem. We may be very eager to seek worldly things, worldly ranks, and worldly certificates, and perhaps even earthly honors. This is something good. Islam pushes us to possess this world and the Hereafter, and to come to know the cosmos and that the cosmos should know us too, through the Holy Quran and its verses; but we must not forget the Hereafter. We were not created for this world; we were created for the Hereafter, and thus Luqman, peace be upon him, began

to lay the foundation of the structure, saying, 'O my son'. Don't shirk God. A building stands only on a foundation and established rules. There is no deity but God. Monotheism, the steadfast belief in the one true and all-sufficient God, cannot be refused by any person at all times and in every circumstance when you tell him not to take this thing, ever for all time. If he obtains. When we establish the oneness of God, all your deeds are for God, the Exalted; therefore they must conform to these criteria. Say: indeed my prayer, my sacrifice, my life,

and my death are for God, the Lord of the worlds. My son, do not associate anything with God; this is of utmost priority indeed. My son, do not associate with God. Before we offer counsel and before we extend any advice, and before we convey what dwells in our minds to the minds and hearts of others, we must lay the groundwork, so that these words will be acceptable to the other party. This. Thus we must raise his kids right. Why not? Why did he say that shirk is oppression, a great oppression indeed? A great wrong—oppression, for

whom? For us. Very well, why should it endure? Why? Because now, if you tell me that this man has taken a partner with God, I would tell you what that partner is, whether it is a sun or a moon or earth or heaven. For all of them have been made to serve you. So how can you share in something that is less in dignity than you and shorter in age than you? You were created for eternity. The sun, the moon, and these stars were created for vanishing. A moment will come when all of these perish

and fade away, and you who remain here will be a flaw in this universe. How? When the soldier gives his orders to the officer. And the manager takes his orders from the employee, and the king takes his Orders from an ordinary employee. How will this—this system be? There is a great, great flaw. Therefore, Allah the Exalted, when He created you, said: Have you not seen that Allah is prostrated to by those in the heavens and the earth, and by the sun, the moon, and the stars, and the mountains, and the trees, and the beasts? Here

we stand. Everything that prostrates to God does so in love in return. If the entire cosmos prostrates to God, the Mighty and Exalted, and I am among those who prostrate, then there are two loves: mine among the heavens, mine among these planets, mine among this earth, mine among these plants, this water, and everything God has subjected, for it prostrates. And I tell you, my son, do not associate anyone with God. Who is He? This question, before that, refers to the expression “O my son” that appears in the Qur’an; it does not appear as “O my

father” or “O father,” and indeed in the Qur’an there is “O son.” The difference between me, my father, and my son, and my son, all opened doors for what would come after that, Abraham, peace be upon him. in Your sustenance, your protection, and may you always have enduring rights. Guard your name and diligently safeguard your wealth. How? How, father, how could I possibly tell you. If we pose the question to a human being, he could live beneath the water. A few minutes, my son. You lived nine months; you lived nine months in the water. May

God protect you wherever you are; He granted you rights, and in that place He gave you birth. You were born, my son. God Almighty planted the great love in the hearts of your parents, especially the mother. It rests upon your own comfort, and you do not give it to her in full, not even fully, through every night and day. When you grow older and stand as a man who guards your wealth, if any man should desire to take your wealth, you must kill him immediately without hesitation. This. Dear sister, if any man—no matter who he

is—speaks about your honor, he will be whipped. If he speaks against you, and even if he is truthful, his aim is to harm you. May God, the Most High, preserve your rights; how does He preserve your rights? And thus, such-and-such and this and that keep coming. Why? So that you would show proper manners and civility whenever you speak about this girl, for God is the Greatest. And if anyone says something about you in your absence, behind your back, on the Day of Judgment they will come and claim the most precious thing they own—their good deeds.

That is why you should not speak about my private matters behind my back. Please protect and look after me. On the other hand, there is something I have quietly hidden in my heart toward you. That means I should think the best of people and not look down on them. This. Imagine you being kept firmly in my heart as enduring feelings. I must sincerely think the very best of you and not let you become a source of doubt or suspicion. And these are indeed genuine feelings. This is Allah, the Almighty, who commands that we worship Him

alone and not place partners with Him; if we commit shirk, we lose. My dear son, do not attach partners to God; for now He understands God, or at least He knows God. This has been the very question our respected sheikh raised, the question I myself used to ask. In practical terms, what does that mean for a father or mother in these times? How can I know that I myself, or my daughter, are truly with God? Subhanallah, this observation truly drew my attention. May God keep us all steadfast and mindful of Him. It moved me. The

verses that preceded these lines. Read them aloud, and explain to me, God willing, what I should say. He created the heavens without any pillars that you can see, and He laid Firm mountains upon the earth so that it would not tremble beneath you, and He spread thereon every kind of creature. And We sent down from the sky water, and with it We brought forth in growth all kinds of plants and produce. We produced therein from every noble pair a variety of life. This is the creation of Allah; so show me what those besides Him have

created. Indeed, the wrongdoers are in plain error. Is this not a sign from Allah? Allah preserve Luqman; that is, Allah, Allah. Most Sundays in the Qur'an. When I gaze at God's creation, you will know me. Now, practically, before I reach the prohibition that you must Not associate partners with God, what are the methods and ways? There is a crisis—the parents' crisis—and in this crisis are the hours. By God, I have work and headaches and more work, nine and five, and even the wife, Subhanallah. Amid all this, parenting sometimes becomes a burden. I did this and

that, finished, ate and was satisfied, and slept. Praise be to God who frees me from them. Here's how it comes about, why, because every single day I am worn out by the labor and strain of toil. Among all these constant commitments, I seek to explain and clarify who God truly is. How, then, can I perform this demanding task, especially in light Of these verses that preceded the explanation concerning God's creation? The beauty and majesty of God's creation are evident, glory be to God. It is as if the verses I have just read were the very

question itself. The answer comes at the end: this is God's creation; show me what those beside Him have created. It seems as though there is a question being posed by these verses to the mind of a child. Or did they fashion things from nothing, or are they the supposed creators? My dear son, has any creature claimed creation besides God, the Exalted and Most High? Is there anyone who has come to us and boldly proclaimed, I created the earth? I created the air; I created the water. I created... Will the Son openly tell you this? No.

This is a clear acknowledgment that God alone is the Creator; no one else claimed creation—this is but one point. Beforehand, why is that so? Suppose there is a safe, stable country. Ongoing communication. Today we live this reality under external danger so that we can communicate more clearly. Today the first thing in the educational process is jihad. The principal actors of this era. And if we reflect on the word education, it indicates the Increase in desirable behavior. And I teach my children to remember one single enduring word: repetition. A pattern of behavior over fifty years and

sixty years, repetition, through generations. Again, fifty years and sixty years, as before. Then I remember more and go deeper: a hundred and fifty years of pattern. I go deeper still: a three-hundred year pattern. What do you mean by this repetition? Education, I'm coming to you. Your son is a river: whatever you pour in, he passes on. God willing, my son will live fifty or sixty years. I have taught him prayer, a portion of the Qur'an, and the values Of righteousness and kindness. And when I teach him to honor his parents, it is not for the

sake of returning good with good. When I raise him, I intend to receive the reward immediately; when I feed him, I count feeding a hungry person as the reward, so I take the reward directly from God. And whenever I clothe myself, I dress him in my own clothes; I have taken the reward from God Almighty. And when I came with the wallet, my son, and he memorized Surah Al-Fatiha and began to memorize the Qur'an, I received the reward from God Almighty directly after that. Does this child thank or not thank? I did not do this

so that gratitude would be repaid with gratitude. And that if I grow old afterward, he would honor my elderly years. I have no guardian for this. And when I truly taught my son piety for his own sake, it was solely so that he would earn good deeds from me only if this mother, or this woman, took a foundling from the street, raised him, taught him, sustained him, married him, gave him a job, provided him a home, a car, and everything. And in a single day indeed, at that moment, and now as I speak to you,

picture the clock hands moving toward this conversation that will take place. Or toward this dialogue, truly, that will be between this woman and this man who has grown into a man, at her expense. She said, my dear son, please do this task right now. He answered, I will not. She told him, do not do it now. I am the one who pulled you from the street, raised you, grew you up, gave you the job and the car, hired you and married you, and now you tell me no. This entire conversation lasted only ten seconds. You

are now pursuing your family life; you are playing the role of motherhood, and if you do not have this child you will feel a lack in your life. The child you long for is in fact a completion of your inner happiness and your social happiness, and with this child you have become a mother. You thus have a natural extension in life, so do not envy; thank God, the Almighty for this blessing, for God, the Exalted, said: Bestow to whom You will daughters, and bestow to whom You will sons, or He marries them to males and

females, And He makes whom He wills barren. Then this is a gift from God the Almighty; I do not wish it. Do not look at them as coming from us; by God I am tired of you, and I have spent on you, fed you, and given you to drink. The first thing you did was eat me and drink me, and it is not from your pocket; we provide for them. And beware of you: you are only the faucet, or the valve, from which the water comes, and not from the wall. I think it comes; no,

no this is a means, but what comes from somewhere else. These provisions are from God, the Most High, and He has sent them to me through you, my father. He has sent them to me through you, my mother. And you are the teacher of my children, and you, the husband, teach your wife and your children. What I bring to you is not from me, and I do not own it at all; rather, it is by the grace of God, the Mighty, who gave it to me and made me a means to deliver it to you

alone. Therefore, in Luqman’s counsel: O my son, establish prayer. Establish prayer, O my son. Establish prayer. Prayer’s essence lies in the perfection of a person’s character, shown by his disciplined and punctual observance of all his appointments. Prayer itself demands a strength rooted in faith: strength, steadfast perseverance, and unwavering consistency to observe five daily times. There are five daily prayer times. If you bind yourself to a single fixed time now, you would face a problem with that one time—no, with any time, my son—so perform the prayers. For the establishment of prayer is your own personal perfection.

The mind's price. Then he said, and enjoin what is right, and is there anything more virtuous than prayer? It is as if Luqman was addressing his son. Let them understand. And he has put an end to the wrong; here they come. The things the soul loves. You love things, and you, Sheikh Hisham, say, "O Abu Khaled, leave these things." Sheikh Hisham, these are beloved to me; you must leave them in obedience to God. You must leave them, you must leave them and try with me. Here you need patience. You want to take from me the

beloved things. They are not a button press, nor is it a word. For years I have come to these beloved things, and now you have come to remove them from my life. And be patient, truly. Be patient with what happens to you; there may be complaints from me, or a word from me that needs patience, because nothing in this world can be reached except through patience, after turning to God for help. Knowledge requires patience. Memorizing the Qur’an requires patience. Education means I have courses in education. What is the first principle in education? That’s what I

tell them: movements. And this vote, in regard to the present matter, concerns the act of casting ballots in this context, namely the selection process by which participants express their choices, and the outcome that will result from the ballots cast here, as presented for the record today. Seeking help from God, the Almighty, there are three essential rules. Three points for you to remember, dear fathers and dear mothers alike. Number one: prayer. The prayer, and the supplication, you have it now; we will attach to it some notes And explain some clarifications about it. The prayers of parents

for their children. First thing: prayer. Then the halal morsel—beware, by God, a morsel of forbidden food destroys you. It destroys. A morsel of haram destroys one of the judges. He says, "O Abu Khalid, I have carried out an extrapolation." From among some families—the divorced ones. He says that when I went back to the files, I found that most of these divorced families had dealings with usurious banks, and I saw that this very fact is the common link binding them together through that shared pattern. It is this same pattern—their dealings with usurious banks—that now stands out.

The morsel, O Sheikh. And He will kill you without you knowing, and without you feeling. He said, so they proclaimed a war from God and His Messenger. Well, if this war involves the other side, God and His Messenger. Is there any outcome to be expected? It has begun and ended. If the other side involves God and His Messenger, the battle began and ended; this man has lost the battle, and the matter is finished. The first thing is supplication. What? Abraham's prayer is among the most famous. Yes. And when Abraham raises the foundations of the sacred

House of God with Ishmael, and Ishmael says, "Our Lord, accept from us; indeed You are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing." O peace be upon him and his son. They work, and during the work we do not deem merely performing the work to be enough. And when the wife of Imran said, 'My Lord, indeed I have vowed to You what is in my womb, to be devoted to Your service; so accept it from me. Indeed You are the Hearing, the Knowing.' With this worry. In What is the axis of your daily life? What is the axis of

your life each morning you wake up? What is the axis? If not to reform this generation, if not to save this generation from the fire. Today, if the boy, God forbid, falls ill, we take him to the best doctor, to the best place, to the best medicines, and to the best hospitals. But when he is afflicted by moral diseases, he is neglected. Listen to the call of the muezzin. Did not rise to pray. Let us focus on the children, and I am reminded of a certain sheikh who wrote a beautiful message for Imam Hasan al-Nadwi,

addressed to his mother. He says that I was taught by three: my brother, my mother, and the scholars—the people of merit. He says I used to go to the book, and when I came back my mother would tell Me, "Read aloud to me the hadith of the Prophet, may peace be upon him," and I would recite the hadith to her. She then said, "O Allah, this is my son who has recited to me the hadith of Your Prophet, and I am but a single woman. O Allah, grant that he be heard by millions of people."

It is a great prayer, meaning this supplication carries exceedingly high ambition. Why did I tell you about this prayer? I learned it from this very mother. He says she used to gather many supplications for Friday. Waiting for Eid, for Eid itself is here; when Friday's hour comes, she places her forehead on the ground and says, "O Allah, build me" six times. O Allah, she calls upon You until You answer. O Allah, help me compose for him a message that is beautiful and deeply meaningful. The women around him say, "O Mother of Ali, what do you

want him to become—do you want him to be a prophet, with all these prayers?" She said no, for she knew that God has sealed the Prophethood with Muhammad, peace be upon him. But perhaps he will be formed by the noble manners of his era, by the ethics surrounding him. This mobile phone. A complete notebook until we reach the studio, we will film and stay in touch. O you criminals, indeed. It reminds you and it keeps you from repeating the same error. A feature of detecting mistakes in the recitation technique for memorizing the Quran. This sacred

supplication, Subhanallah, is presented here as a set of examples illustrating supplication itself. For the children who listen attentively. Within the Qur'anic models or exemplars addressed to the children who did not listen to Noah's prayer for his son. I am astonished by this particular supplication, in that it asked for nothing at all. He said, 'My Lord, indeed my son is from my family.' And indeed Your promise is true, and You are the most just of judges. He did not ask for anything, nor did he dare to ask God. He said that he is not from your

family; indeed, he did an act or deed in two readings that is not valid. So do not ask me, nor did he ask for anything. And yet he hesitated, but his concern remained for his son, and to the extent of worry. Then Jacob, indeed, truly peace be upon him, they were deeply astonished by Jacob, this very great, venerable, highly revered, much esteemed father. When his sons, who betrayed him and had acted wrongly toward him, came to him. He said, 'I shall, with earnest hope, seek forgiveness for you all from my Lord.' He'll do. These ten

who ruined his son, his beloved son, and then he lost his sight because of them; and then he says, I will stand tonight to ask forgiveness for you. What is this, oh Father of Joseph, peace be upon him? And prayer, sometimes I, too, as a father, forget that this arrow; at times I am more about the practical aspects, I do this with my son and that with my daughter, but I forget the unseen arrow that no one sees, which is prayer. Yes, this is the material basis, and it makes a person imagine everything when he

stays up at night. After he prays within reach and reads within reach, and lifts his hands up in prayer, he says, 'O Allah, what should I build?' You've come a long way here in raising your son, through the steady warmth you show and the patient guidance you offer. This genuine love will take root in your son's mind and his heart; come, my son, and love me as I deserve, starting today and growing with him as the years go by. Today we offer, and I mean, beautiful habits that nurture courage, patience, gratitude, and mutual respect within

your family life. Let these habits guide him daily. He comes as a truly great man. Allah, the Most High, has made this boy the apple of our very eyes. And indeed it is stated in the Qur'an that we are reminded of the verse: 'Our Lord, grant us from among our wives and offspring comfort to our eyes, and make us an Imam for the righteous.' Our Lord. That I, whenever I happen to catch sight of it, find deep rest and peace within it. Whenever I am traveling and my son is somewhere else, I am at ease;

I am not troubled in the least. And whenever my wife travels to some country, I am at ease as well; and when my wife is away from me at this moment, I am still at Ease, and my eyes rest peacefully. Some people say that if the son disappears from sight, may God protect us. Where the boy is, I do not know; God protect us—make certain where the boy is, and if his wife is away or if he himself is absent. Here, our Lord has granted to us from our spouses and our offspring what should be

a comfort for the eyes, a source of life. To have this eye settled, to be at rest and content in their presence and in their absence. The boy has gone traveling; I am at ease. The boy is away from me; I am at ease. The boy traveled in business. The boy, I am at ease. Our sheikh, where is this comfort? By God, life is like this—depression and pressure. Where is this comfort? Why do we seek this comfort? Look, I said we seek. And I am returning to the Qur’an. I say, praise be to God that

we have begun to return to the Qur’an and search in the Qur’an for our problems and for our worries, and we will find in the Qur’an healing for these illnesses and a remedy for all these problems; amazing, I say we seek. Solomon spoke briefly today and carefully inspected the birds. It is truly strange indeed. Are we today, perhaps, inspecting our own children? Are we today, perhaps, inspecting our own children? Listen attentively to their point of view. I don’t know for certain—perhaps the thief whom I have locked the door against on the outside has nonetheless managed

to enter the dwelling. Perhaps some of the beliefs I regard as very obvious pillars of my thinking are not obvious pillars for your children. For the opening of this discourse, I invoke Luqman, peace be upon him, and I am guiding his son in the creed. Today her children, indeed, do not learn the creed from her; they learn it from TikTok, from schools, from a variety of people, and when they come home they carry these ideas with them. Another thing. This world has now become a village. Perhaps a year ago this frightening thing—now I cannot shield

myself from these thoughts; it must be confronted. How can I protect it? I mean, psychologists and sociologists say that parents in this era, on average, have only ten minutes or a quarter of an hour. Time with the son or daughter, with their own children, this time—the precious, pure time—in which they devote themselves to all these things, is what matters most. So I have only a quarter of an hour with my children. I have, you know, a substantial amount of ideas and the effects they have on people. This talk was Isaam Jamil’s gamble. But even I

cannot find the time to tell my own children this beautiful sentence; may God protect you, it is not what matters to you. Now I am taking stock of your surroundings; I told them, folks, open your phones and see today how many hours you were busy with the phones. This barrier between me and my son, well, that’s enough, I mean. The solutions lie with me, and they lie with us as well, truly. I do not want to, and we cannot. Today, today, do not tell me that I cannot at all. No. He's your son. Today we

care how much we trade and how we speak in meetings; look, God protect you—the payoff of work is the same as work. Throughout the long hours of every day, if the job is the number one truly essential function indeed. The council is the number two body, and commerce is the number three. One. But we also have a commonly used term for presence and attendance. I even sincerely wish for this quarter-hour as well indeed. Let's just finish it, though I have reservations that I constrained myself, I mean I widened the times for everything except for the

family. I came for a quarter of an hour, really; I don't have long hours at work, nor long hours in the car, nor long hours now. When you look at the end of the month, how many kilometers has your car driven, in total? How many of these kilometers are for God and how many are for the world truly altogether? How much for deeds, and how much is permissible for God? You’ll find there are long, lingering, wasted stretches of time. In the father’s presence at home, I wish there would be genuine, active engagement, not mere passive

presence. Sit with us for two hours every day, with the phone in hand. I don’t know, and I’m looking for something I don’t know. What I do know is that this has become the barrier between me and my father. It would be better if we looked at the mobile in a positive way. A moment ago we were sitting with you, Sheikh Hisham, and we were looking at apps, follow-ups, mistakes, and the strong memorization and the weak memorization—all Through this app on the phone you have. It’s nice, and I followed your children while they’re in another

country and you’re in Qatar, and I followed their memorization and heard about their memorization, Mashallah, from the app. And all of this comes from the app. So this phone. Like any other human being. Every part of me is a double-edged weapon. Every part of me is a double-edged weapon. This phone is wonderful indeed—a weapon for religion. If we now turn to this phone, right here, in this moment, we would find in it, among its vast scientific treasures, things that my mind does not contain. But where do I stand with respect to these treasures that exist?

Now. For the sake of argument, if I were to say, is it possible that I could bring Imam al-Bukhari today? And keep him with me in the car so that he speaks to me. Logically I tell you no; with the existence of this mobile I tell you yes, yes. You want Imam al-Bukhari to speak and to read to you Sahih al-Bukhari while you are in the car; may Allah have mercy on him, a mercy expansive as the heavens. I say yes, very possible—open now, Sahih al-Bukhari reading. He's going to recite hadiths from Al-Bukhari for you.

I want Sheikh Abdul Basit Abdul Samad, may God have mercy on him; I want to Listen to him now while I'm in the car. Okay, a man died years ago, brother; I want him available, not available, Sheikh. Available. I want to listen to Al-Minshawi. I want to listen to the explanations of Sheikh Ibn Uthaymeen. I want to listen to the explanations of Sheikh Al-Sha'rawi. All of these are available. And I don't use this. My children, heed this cellphone; it has windows, it holds the good of this world and the hereafter; it contains much information; I

work with them until they search this phone for its intellectual treasures for their learning and growth every day. Two days ago I was in a course on educational happiness, and they said The cellphone is harmful, and this and that; I let them talk about the harms of the phone; I told them the cellphone has no harm for them at all. The cellphone has no harm; the issue is with me. I asked them a question: What is Abu al-Darda’s name? No one answered. I told them I’d give you ten seconds and then bring his name. Before

five seconds were up, they named someone. There is a lot of information available if you want it—for interpretation, for hadith, for philosophy, for history; all of this is on the cellphone. But where should I go and where should I search? The problem is with me, not with the cellphone. I'm trying to understand. This is an educational model for a father and for many parents, especially men, who think that my job is to earn a living and that the wife is the one who raises him, right? She raises him—why? What do I have to do with

educational matters? I am not the one who sees the sweat of the brow and the fatigue I bear; my job is to work. Then Luqman, peace be upon him, often speaks to my son in an educational address across all these moments. It is as if the role of the man these days has changed a little or the expectations—by God, Sheikh, see: the more you give, the more you take. And all the time we waste for our children will reflect on us in goodness; it is An investment, it is an investment. My son and your son

should be regarded as perpetual charity. If I were to regard my son as perpetual charity or as a waqf-endowed project, I would devote myself to the care of this project. Imagine me saying to you that the concept would endure for fifty years; imagine my son reaching fifty years of age, and a copy of his deeds laid out for me as I lie in my grave. Isn’t this reward enough for me to toil a little, stay up a little, and keep watch a little? Fifty years—my son has been good. If my son passes these duties to

his son, then my son’s deeds and my grandson’s will all belong to me, even from my grave. If we view our children this way, I swear to God I am. As an employee, and, uh, I came bearing the food and drink, and my turn is over. What? You still haven’t begun your turn since you brought them their food. It is enough for a man to witness that he wastes those who depend on him. That’s enough from you; stop clinging to what you’re used to. It means you’re the one who says, 'By God, I brought them

food and drink and gave them a decent life.' I tell you, may God reward you for that, but the matter of upbringing hasn’t even started yet. You haven’t even begun to tell me about it; you say you did it, but you haven’t started. And you’re leaving the work and the educational aspect to the schools. In the matter of upbringing, schools did not claim or state that I would undertake to raise your child in prayer, virtue, and steadfast commitment, and so on. They did not claim this in any school. We have a pedagogical side, yes, and

we have an educational side, yes, but the first school is the home. And the most important teachers in the world are the father and the mother; they are the most important teachers, and the home is a thousand times more important than the school. External schools, whatever they may be, in everyday life. Here and now I am looking at my children, wondering if I am seeing them in this way, and that is why I did a study on this topic, oh my God, could it be that I am sleeping in my grave. My son's prayers for

me, my son's fasting for me, my son's pilgrimage for me, my son's charity for me, and my reading of the Qur'an for me, a complete copy comes to me. Could it be? Then I asked one of the scholars; he said, "Brother, if you taught your son to steal, and he began to practice theft for fifty years." His name is Alima, a scholar. He has a copy, and you have a copy; God, reveal it to us, O Lord. And you are the one who taught about the Qur'an, and you taught about prayer, and you taught the

analysis of what God forbids and the liberation from what God forbids, and you magnified God's Word, exalted be He, in his heart. And the man began in this way; this man is godly toward God, Yes, and toward the devil no. He became upright, and so he is trusted with people's money, their honor, and their secrets. And he became, and became, a builder; he has added Professor Hesham. What applies to civilizations and nations in their rise and fall applies to the individual. Nations, when they advance for civilization, there is no doubt that they are in a

state of growth, expansion, and strength because they push forward. They then begin to advance beyond it; they broaden themselves, and their power grows. Their strength increases as long as they continue, but the moment they pause, they begin to retreat and to take from others. They want to take from others. And our nation, when it stopped growing, and stopped giving—to others and to other nations who once sent their sons to us to learn from us—this stoppage happened, and thus we became, therefore, inevitably. This is the law of civilizations: either you influence, or those among you who

wish will advance or fall behind. The nation that does not invade is invaded, and the nation that does not invite is invited. We have reached a point where we cannot offer anything to civilization or humanity. How can we offer civilization and humanity today? When I teach my son who created water, who created plants—God, the Creator—God who created water, the mountains, and the sea; and I am satisfied. No, brother, do not be satisfied. Proceed to the immediately following step. Why is that? The person named George, or named John, or who actually went to the plant and

extracted medicines from it. My son and I were fully convinced and persuaded that the one who created the plant is indeed God. So, what could come next in light of the fact that God Almighty is the very one who created the plant? Should I not boldly advance and push forward to take a step toward this plant and carefully examine what its creation contains—namely the sea? God. And what about the great ships that Abdullah is said to have created, or did another slave create them instead? No, by God, it was the other slave who made them.

Consequently I will arrive at the conclusion that the universe now knows more, and knows more than it did before. Known by most. I wish the universe would now recognize Abdullah and Abdul Rahman, for they are the ones who built the airplanes, the ones who built these magnificent ships at sea, the ones who produced these medicines, and the ones who made these weapons, and who made all of this. A beautiful link here between this talk and the words of peace. It wasn't that he told his son to "establish prayer and finish your Religion in the mosque,"

my dear; that is not the teacher's religion. Rather, he commanded what is right and forbade what is wrong. There are rights; religion must be comprehensive and complete for everything, whether it concerns maritime discoveries or this or that, in other words. From the Qur’an’s first use of the word “husband,” in the story of Adam, peace be upon him, God says, “I will place a successor on the earth.” God explains our purpose on this earth: not only that a father tells him, “My dear, you have duties to the Lord of all worlds.” This shows that whenever you

do anything, you should give thanks to God. What is your function here? It is not only prayer. There is something deeper, something bigger—the worship, a worship that Is broader and more inclusive. And you are God's steward, a faithful caretaker of this earth. You see this entire world placed at your disposal, with all things within reach. Yes. What do you do with it? Use it or waste it? Perhaps farming, the cultivation of the land for sustenance. The goal is that we live in a time when everything has become numbers, and everything seems to slip away so

quickly that time itself feels fleeting. That we pause and invest in our kids, guiding them with patience and wisdom. A question: what is my purpose here, and how shall I spend these days? And why are you here, standing in this place today? Why am I here, what purpose calls me now? Why do I need to work here, why must I serve in this place? Is it merely to earn grades, then the diploma, then the job? Nor is there anything deeper than that, or to put it differently, if we now look at our daily life: I

go to work, I come back from my shift, I pray, eat lunch, and sleep. I pass by the Council of Councils and return home, sleep again, and I do not go to work. And so I told you a moment ago: are you living the life that God the Almighty desires in this way? You seem to live for yourself, a solitary life. You live a solitary life; the job is part of life, not life itself, and not all of life. Trade is only a part of life, not the whole of life itself. Here is a question

as well: then, where, exactly, is all of life? You are all of life; you are God. God, the Most High, created you for a great purpose. If you do not respond to these verses, if you do not respond to these cosmic signs, you will remain a guest of honor in your own lifetime. You consume, and you consume without giving back. And here, under the broad law of civilizations, a nation that does not advance begins to take from others. And the first thing it takes is industry when production stops. First you begin by taking control of

industry and weapons. And then you take food and clothing for your people. And then a dangerous matter arises that you import. The standard. This word is very dangerous indeed. When I, as a nation, import the standard of morality from another nation, at this very moment we want to judge someone; how shall we judge him? We have a standard—what exactly is the standard? A Western standard, I swear to God, if this is not bankruptcy, then what is bankruptcy—the mental occupation, the mental occupation. After this, after this, as Dr. Majed Arsan al-Kilani mentions in the educational objectives.

He says after this: we have imitated them in all of this, then in creed we imitate it in the religion, Tawhid, and creed; we imitate others and take others' religions. He then asks, what? Then annihilation. This Ummah will perish. When it departs from its beliefs in the first place, what is our value? What is our value? Our value is in this creed. Okay, when they are taken from us and we replace them with a new faith with a different way of thinking or with other rites, that's it—I've judged myself. In the background, he neglected prayer

and pursued desires; my son and I are bound. The evidence and clear proofs, seen and unseen, that you are Allah’s servant, may He be exalted, and that Allah Himself is the Creator and the Provider, even in the matter of sustenance. What we have given it is bigger than its size. Allah says, "Is there any creator other than Allah who provides for you?" He provides for you. I mean, it seems as if the message is clear: that the Creator is the Provider, and only in Him should we place our trust. From a creator other than God

He creates you. But who would say, is there a creator other than God who provides for you? Then linking sustenance and creation to whom? By God the Almighty, here perhaps it would be nice to borrow what the moons say later. That is, upbringing. It requires diverse methods. We provide child-rearing as you have suggested; indeed it is my fifth priority, so I neither vary nor excel nor even try at it, and I do not find myself in it. O my son, indeed if there were even the weight of a mustard seed of anything hidden in a

rock, or in the heavens above, or in the earth below, Allah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allah is Most Gentle and All-Knowing, who knows what is hidden as well as what is plain. What beauty there is in this manner of expression, ending with two of Allah’s Names, Latif and Khabeer. Allah is the Greatest. You are the solution. No one sees her. Not in cloth. In stone. This is as it was. Or in the heavens. Or on the earth. Correct me if I am mistaken now. My son, indeed, if you could weigh even the weight of

a mustard seed, it would be found somewhere—in a rock, or in the heavens, or in the earth; God knows it. The One who will bring it—He will bring it. Peace be upon you. I may know this, but I cannot bring it myself. He said that bringing it means God, on the Day of Resurrection, is able to bring This seed across these vast distances. He can bring it; you see it with your own eyes, and He is wise and wondrous. Subhanallah; how many fathers and mothers there are. Sometimes we threaten our own children, mother. She threatens

his sons that Dad will come at six o'clock and see what he does to you. I scare them in front of Dad. If he fears God the Almighty, he will act and abandon what God has placed anywhere. If he fears me, that means he will follow my commands whenever I am present, and if I am absent, under the threat of a weapon he raises his hand; when the weapon is lowered he lowers it as well. Here is a beautiful sign, my son: you spoke of a grain of the verse. Luqman the sage wants to end

the truth when you are in a place where you are not seen. True faith. Here is the true, living faith, my dear son. Hold fast to this truth with all your heart, for that is why this very story was told to me by a brother about a young man who lived once in the lands of the Gulf. From one of the Gulf states, there was a trader, a man of commerce who journeyed far and wide. He travels to China in the course of his business, and he says, I was a young smoker in my youth.

Glory be to Him who guided me. I myself transformed a cigarette pack into a Qur’an that rests in my pocket. And the cigarette into a miswak that sits in my mouth, as a sign of renewed resolve. Glory be to my Lord, the Exalted Creator. He says that one time I was sitting in a restaurant in China, and on that journey I was alone in it; he says I looked up like this, and there, a beautiful woman who had adorned herself sat right in front of me. The devil's medicine. The youths are in a place that

no one knows. He says, I sought help from God and took up my weapon. And I prepared with it for a great jihad, he says, and I began. And I began to read, he says, Glory be to You, my Lord; I opened. And suddenly came the verse: And whoever desires the Hereafter and strives for it with his striving, while he is a believer—such is the reward Of their striving, he says, by God. I understood clearly from this sacred verse as if God were saying: if we desire you, then your striving is gratefully accepted today; and

if you depart, that too may be spoken of. By the grace of God, the Exalted, and then by the greatness of what I have read and pondered upon, I am humbled. End. Days passed. My little son spoke. The father himself then fell ill; now he speaks again. And when my little son suddenly fell ill with a health problem, I went to the hospital. They said the boy's condition was serious. They said he would need open-heart surgery. There is no god but God. Open-heart surgery, my friends—this operation should not be postponed, they said, for delaying is

dangerous to his life. I stood there, powerless. By God's will, He shows us these things so that we may feel our helplessness, our weakness, and the deficiency within us, from which man was created weak. He says I gave my full consent to undergo the extensive surgical procedure. And I am right here, in this very hospital; they said yes. I stopped. And I wondered, how you could possibly be so rich, O Lord, toward me, when I am thus utterly and completely in desperate need of You, day after day. He says I prayed and, indeed, I found

it. Professor Hesham. He says you did not utter any invocation in prayer at all. He says, while I was in prostration, and there came a moment when that video seemed to replay before my eyes: that woman sitting there, while I myself sat here, and I took up the Qur'an reverently and softly said, "My God and my Lord." If that moment is truly for Your gracious and holy face, then, O Allah, build me up in that spirit. O Allah, if that moment is truly for Your gracious face, then, O Allah, what more can be said beyond

that, right there? Finally I finished and walked up to the door of the operating room, wondering Whether I should take him home to his family or bury him in the cemetery. Then the doctor stepped out from the operating room, and I hesitated to ask. I asked anyway. And the doctor spoke, with a look of questions on her face, saying, "Oh, brother, may God be praised; it is indeed as if something in her hands is guiding us as we work." The operation was successful. Should you turn toward God, you will surely lose. Never enter the mosque,

for you will surely lose. God. Feelings—when feelings are sincere, God is able to judge them according to His holy will. The Almighty Allah can measure your inner emotions in light Of His commands and decrees. Subhanallah, this is as if the tale before us stands as a reminder of Allah's words, for indeed 'And his father was righteous' is cited. This belongs to the stylistic approaches we mentioned; yet it belongs to the opening of Luqman’s story, even before Allah the Exalted speaks of His commandments and His counsel. He said, 'Indeed We have given Luqman wisdom now: be

grateful to God and heed His wise guidance.' This is a reminder for all to heed His commands today, now. He's the very man in action. How could his sons be grateful for wisdom? In other words, the greatest thing that can be given to a person is wisdom. Ibn Abbas says, "The Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, Took me in his arms and embraced me." Congratulations to you, O Ibn Abbas, for being embraced by the Messenger of Allah. May Allah be pleased with that generation. The Prophet, peace be upon him, then

said, "O Allah, teach him wisdom." O Allah, teach him wisdom — a great matter. Therefore our master Luqman, God the Almighty, gave him this great gift: wisdom. Verily, wisdom does not come into existence unless it is joined to knowledge, and knowledge may exist without wisdom. Indeed, knowledge may be present without wisdom, and Allah, may He be exalted, in the Holy Qur'an does not condemn wisdom. Yet He condemns those who strive to guard or hoard knowledge, for wisdom Has departed from them entirely in every respect; indeed now. Now, in the vocabulary we employ in our educational

terms, we revisit the question: Professor So-and-So, from which university did he receive his degree? Did he graduate, or has he graduated from any university at all; people tell you Harvard or other globally renowned universities. Indeed, is the global stage the number one university, or the second or third in the world? When he completes his studies there, we say this man possesses true learning—why? Because he earned his degree from that particular university, and that very university testifies to his learning; that name itself testifies to his learning, indeed, okay. Then, what exactly is it that would be

wrong with you if God, in His wisdom, Created a man by means of knowledge? Then the shadows come, fall, and linger patiently after that moment. Therefore this man surely possesses knowledge. God the Exalted, God—knowledge, knowledge. on A There may be knowledge, but there is no wisdom; and wisdom does not exist except with the - . He withdrew from it; so what verse should I complete? Then I followed the devil; I followed the devil. Which devil? A devil became, has become the follower of this man. Oh God, what degree of misguidance has he reached, that the

Devil would be his follower. Here we have one who is drawn toward sin and one who tempts; this one has become alluring. We ask God for safety, we ask God for well-being. This, this, Subhanallah, is the beginning of the entire story of Luqman. That is precisely how Luqman, peace be upon him, instructed his son. He used to labor continually and to act diligently, and he would say, "My dear son, pray." By God, I have gathered over four long years what he used to do and labor, and his children plainly saw him; to thank God after

a number of verses, God Almighty says that you should thank me and your parents; your father was thankful. Then gratitude will inevitably come to you. His father was pleased; look, here is the beautiful passage about thanking one's Parents and honoring God, the Exalted. And if they both zealously strive to compel you to associate with Me something of which you have no knowledge at all, do not obey them; and treat them in this world with kindness. According to my reading, it is as if Allah the Exalted says to this man: If the parents truly intend to

ruin the relationship between me and you in any way whatsoever, no. Don't ruin. That is to say, thus the father and mother intend to sabotage their relationship with God; God is isolated, he says, even if this is the case. Be kind to them, and do not give them any portion of your wealth at all. He said, and his companion in this life is, as people attest, well known. By God, you will not find a single phrase in it that expresses righteousness and benevolence as this verse does. He said, and his companion in this world is

well known, that is, the familiar and widely recognized companionship that exists. Oh God, how merciful he is, how generous he is; indeed, a God who attends to such tender feelings. To whom is this directed? To the one who is a polytheist. To worship Allah alone, the Mighty, and His exalted status, and to seek prestige. And the astonishing thing, glory be to God, is the Qur’anic model for this father or this mother. The two who strive over the story of Abraham’s crisis: if it does not end, I Beg you to determine for him by stoning, killing,

and banishing me financially. What should I answer Ibrahim? I am astonished; he said, “Peace be upon you.” I will seek forgiveness for you, my Lord; indeed he was among the close ones. Glory be to God. This point, he took this point against Ibrahim, peace be upon him. Abraham’s forgiveness for his father was not granted except if he had promised him; i.e., do not seek forgiveness for him, a polytheist. But Ibrahim is an exception, peace be upon him. Truly, Abraham, God is patient—calm, repentant. The model is that God, the Almighty, grants us growth. Thus, if a

father threatens his son with stoning and killing, he Then says, "Peace be with you." God is Greatest, and beauty of it. Ibrahim. That's right indeed; please carefully observe the righteousness that lies between Ishmael and Abraham, God, as this message makes clear for all to hear. A murder case, enough. God commanded me to go to my son, that man, and kill him, oh son. Then see what You will find me, God willing, among the patient ones indeed. Prophet Joseph, peace be upon him, patiently taught me that I am not armed, that I hold no weapons, that

I carry no arms, and that I possess no armament within me, truly and clearly, I am not armed in any way, in every respect. What good is this reward for deeds? If we were to return to Luqman, our elder and teacher, after he had mentioned it. Allah, the Exalted, described, and Allah knows that you are indeed proud and boastful in a strange manner. Then He commanded him to establish prayer, to enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong, and to be patient through all this. Then He said: Do not turn your face away from

people in contempt, nor walk on the earth with arrogance. Indeed, Allah does not love every self-deluding, boastful person. How he truly respects feelings and protects our feelings so they never become sour, and in reading there is no harshness at all. Meaning: What do you mean, don’t frown? This is a disease camels are prone to, and you will see its face distorted. My son, do not be afflicted by this behavioral and psychological illness. If someone speaks to you, do not turn your face away from him. There was insult toward the person who is talking to you.

Also, be mindful of others’ feelings. Returning to the same topic: look, and do not be harsh with the people who speak to you; regard him with respect, with reverence, with appreciation. And even if you disagree with him, the Prophet, peace be upon him, taught us this example. Have you finished, O Abu al-Waleed? He is speaking to him in any words and at any level. Are you finished, O country? He said, Yes—listen. Do not lift your nose at a person who is speaking to you, and do not frown or twist your face away. Instead, inquire about

the other’s mood and about his feelings when I am speaking with you. I turn my face away and walk off. What psychological pain have you left in the other person, my son? Do not be deceived by this disease; this is not strength—turning your face away from people is not strength. And thus this pride, which we forbade in this verse, is rejected. Today, perhaps my true pride lies in the fact that I ride a valuable car, and it bears a short yet so distinctive number among people. Indeed, God the Most High truly sees the arrogance and

haughtiness Of this man; and because of that arrogance, his vehicle is made lighter. When I entered. I entered your company, and the company is going well, Mashallah; there is no power except with God. I entered your home and saw your family in health and well-being, Mashallah; there is no power except with God. I looked at your parents, and they are in health and well-being, Mashallah; there is no power except with God. I rose through the ranks at work, Mashallah; there is no power except with God. I have nothing, O Lord; I am a prisoner. I

am in the car. A beautiful car. It is expensive. That bit of iron may truly be your grave in this life and in this world, you know. Yes, be mindful and proceed with true humility. With humility, say what God wills, for there is no power except by God. Is this my car? By God, no—that is not my car at all; rather, these are my children, not my car. I have moved to a house, a home. A new house, by the grace of God the Exalted, He has honored me with it, and I told the children,

listen closely. You see, this house is not your father's house. This is the house of God, the Exalted, the Mighty and Most High. In God the Lord can cast out anyone from this house at any moment; the Most High, the Glorious, and All-Powerful Allah is able to do all things within this place. Do not disobey God, the Mighty, in this dwelling, for He can swiftly drive you from its very doors. Do not say this house is mine; this possession here is not real, for the true owner of the universe is God, the Almighty. The verse,

astonishing, continues. You said that every time Luqman Ali commands or forbids. He asks, "Why?" And do not doubt God, the Great One. Don't do this, my son; don't do that; why? Indeed, God does not like to make His son eager, nor to instill in him a fear That the impossible might be withdrawn. I always diligently devote my careful attention to these matters: love. Picture this, dear father: God loves you. Picture this, my son, when you listen to or heed my words, God loves you and is pleased with you. The angels love you. Picture this, my

dear son: Gabriel loves you deeply. Love, love, love. And the degrees of devotion toward God, may He be exalted, begin with this truth: mankind's purpose in life is to remain forever within the circle of love with God, the Most High. From here the son is identified and defined. The child here will be classified when he goes to school tomorrow, and on that day he will begin his studies with joy and curiosity, and may his heart learn to trust in God's love every day. It lands on her and acts. With regard to Hisham, we must carefully

engage with this matter. The students of Judge Iyad, may God have mercy on him, said, "O Imam, teach us, teach us." They said, "Your knowledge makes you wiser." He wished to convey a message: "Tell me when any one of you would be satisfied if he takes a mouthful and then throws it behind his back." We must restrain ourselves now. Before it's really too late for us to understand. When we run some educational workshops and I ask them what the focus of their life is, they say, 'I wish this information had come to us forty years

Ago,' and those who say, 'I wish it had been thirty years ago,' we tell you to beware, this moment, and your child's childhood from their life will vanish. This is the least stage of giving. My Lord, have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small. And so one of them prostrated. I tested the children; he said to the jailer, “Set me free and I will give you half of my wealth.” He said no. After a while—one year, two years, or so—he said, “Set me free and I will give you a quarter of

my wealth.” “Half? You refused to tell me a quarter?” He said, “Yes, a quarter. I am not eager to go out any more,” meaning he told me today what you told me today when I spoke of the half; my children were small. Now they’ve grown up. If I wanted to raise them, I would start when they’re young. These are opportunities I won’t waste with your kids. When you were in the car, listen to them, talk to them, ask them, discuss with them. If they ask you any question, this is a pedagogical skill; if they ask

you any question, don’t answer. Do not answer the question until you understand what’s going on in their mind, lest they have a doubt and reveal it to you. Pay attention to the question and its type. One of the mothers asked me, she said: Abu Khaled, my son asks me about the arithmetic stage; he asks me a question that says: Do Imam Bukhari have errors in the hadith or not? I told her, wait, forget about the question for a moment. We do not claim infallibility for anyone, but the Ummah has engaged with Bukhari. This—that is, I

am not the one praising Bukhari, may God have mercy on him and grant him abundant mercy. But the question: where did this come from? No, by God, Dad; I mean not everything is really right, because the Quran differs in the details. We truly believe in what the Quran says, but the hadiths sometimes contain weak reports. Yes, so the germ has reached, or has it not reached yet? It has reached. And indeed. By God, my dad's words are almost right, maybe not. But parenting says: if your son asks you, be patient. on When? How do you

view that very particular player, the one you may have seen play in several games? Of all your friends at school, which one do you love the most, and why do you love him so much? Why? Why? What is the loveliest quality in your friend? And what quality, if it were not present in your friend, would make him even better? What is the loveliest quality in me, Dad? Which trait would you wish I did not have? What is the loveliest quality in your mother? What is the trait that you adopt that your mother does not have?

The boy reveals things we do not know; this is the very art and craft of questioning within dialogue. If it isn't inclusive, I won't converse. I handle what's in front of me. Whatever it was, it wasn't a mistake. Unfortunately, most of the time I end up arguing against my own son in class at school. Reply. Perhaps I was wrong. But at least I listen. Listen to his problem; perhaps the teacher was wrong. Perhaps a female friend made a mistake. Perhaps I should leave, but I got a call. The boy is at fault; the boy is

fragile; the boy swears at me. The boy from school I won't speak to him, not a word. Because after he comes home from school, at lunchtime, let him eat and we'll chat and everything will be over. Let that time go. And the Moroccan afternoon—choose the right time, choose the right time, because this time is the time to plant values; it won't do any good otherwise. I'm hungry and coming from work, my son, what did you do, and so on. No, no, no—give him time; give him a little time. Set aside a small amount of time

right now, because taking this time will save you money and spare you effort in the long run. Go and ask rehabilitation centers about the monthly cost of the drug treatment program. The price falls in the tens, not in the hundreds. Go and check it out for yourself today. People said that there is something in the school that speaks in a very soft voice, and if it speaks, you must not interrupt. Then nothing like this happened at all, and during the conversation this is, indeed, a very important point. Tight near you. My son is the dearest

thing I have. I won't put anyone before my son. I must protect his feelings and his standing. If he makes a mistake, how should it be handled? How will I know if it happens tomorrow at school? If I don't hear from my son, okay, if I don't hear from him, I will look for someone who will listen to this. Why do teenagers always have, you know, a strong bond with each other, like a group of four friends, and friends listen to one another. They listen. We do not have time to listen to praise, and of

course he, beyond that, calls himself “God bless” Abu Khalifa, “God bless” Abu Jasim, “God bless” Abu Hamad. We are among the few nicknames the boy has grown up with; he wants Abu Fulan, and adolescence—the coming-of-age phase—is a stage that requires us to talk about it in detail because that phase is dangerous. The phase implies a change in his personality to some extent; it contains elements of narcissism, and a sense of ego. He loves with fierce, unwavering passion and hates with the same fierce intensity, even when it comes to clubs. Now look at the teenager when

he supports a club—see what he does. He curses the other club if it taunts him, and he gives no real comment to it. And you can see him when his team wins: he goes to school the next day speaking in a harsh, sharp voice; that is his nature. That is simply how he is. Of course, when I speak of adolescence, some may say that in the time of the Prophet Muhammad there was no adolescence. I tell you the era was real, and that the era means living with Muhammad, peace be upon him. Today, how far

are we from that light and from that pure source, and what challenges face us today? We ask God to bless our children and youth of the nation of Muhammad, peace be upon him, and keep them occupied with what is useful and with pursuits that yield them real benefit. For themselves, for their families, for their nation, for what that means. It signifies that he is the first target; nations are measured by their youth. When you see youth without identity, without zeal, without goals, this Is what the nation amounts to— the nation is not measured by its

elders nor by its children, but by its youth. So how many youths do you possess? If, here, we adjust the term—replacing 'sheikh' with a prophetic term or a word from revelation—we would say he has just reached puberty. Yet the Prophet, peace be upon him, paid heed to this near age, and he dealt with Aisha, may God be pleased with her, and with Jabir ibn Abdullah, may God be pleased with him. In how he treated others differently. And the young man who came to him says, “Then grant me permission to commit adultery.” God. He asks him,

“Do you have any mercy, or does his conduct not match how he dealt With Mu’adh, who grew up and matured?” He says, “Are you, O Mu’adh, saying anything harsh?” You must know, my dear. God is greatest. And this question, in rebuke or before rebuke, the very question that surrounds the child or the son or daughter, recalls how the Prophet, peace be upon him, dealt with Hatib ibn Abi Balta’ah, who betrayed him. And Umar ibn al-Khattab said, 'Let me strike the neck of this hypocrite,' and Hatib asked, 'Why did you do it?' He did not judge

him right away, not at once. What is the reason? I say nothing, for this is the Prophet's way of handling things—the conduct we should follow in our homes as well. We seek a sheikh to learn from, we ask until we understand. The boy, meaning the child, should not be my weapon, that is, my voice raised and my hand lifted all the time. My weapon should be that I am the father, and I may be the judge at home, but I am not the judge of the home. And when we ask the boy what his problem

is after he speaks, I hope this time we as fathers will have it in us to respond with patience and wisdom. I brought it up; I spoke with my son and asked him, 'Son, what is the problem?' He said, 'The problem is one, two, three, four.' After it ends he says, 'Okay, son, what's your opinion? What is the solution?' The solution? He is actually the one closest to the problem, so he did not present you with the solution; for example, the boy is a smoker. And the school administration said, 'By God, this boy is a

smoker.' A report came home that the boy is a smoker. It is expected that with the report there will be contact, and we teach the father the skill of receiving the case because it is considered now a case. How should I greet my son if he is smoking? I sit with my son and, in a calm voice, discuss what happened today, and so on; I must contain him. Whatever the mistake was, I must contain him, that is, I accept the boy for who he is. I mean I want to change reality. So first, accept reality

as it is, only then can you change it. In short, there is a rule: deal with reality as it is, not as it should be. Face reality as it is, not as it ought to be. All right, who is responsible for getting us to this place the way it should be? I came here; the table is laid out like this. Come on, uncle, put your hand on it now. This table is here; I will change it. When it's over, I already admit that I made a mistake, and I actually took the cigarette from my friend,

and it was my first time trying. Okay, Dad, now you have tried—what do you think? Do you want me to help you with the solution? There's a different culture here, and whoever helps me right away, I’ll gladly help you in return. Okay, because we should speak frankly. My brother Hisham means that if a boy tells you he's fifteen years old, Dad, I’ve chosen to start smoking. Let me see the health risks and that it's not allowed. Please, as a father, what would you do? By God, this is hard, ma’am. Yes, yes, you as a father,

what are you doing? You don’t have many strings to pull. This is not a call to surrender, but I say the skill is required. Punish him, I argue. All right, and the punishment: I know his character; it drives him away from my house and from me. We youths say, thinking is punishment. Intellect, not fools. God willing, we want intellect, not fools. So when I sit with him and discuss with him, because this is the proper, right method, I mean. Oh, my dear son, why did you smoke? Oh, my dear son? Do you see yourself less

than others, and did I tell you? Okay, what should I help you with? Let him tell you. Okay, if he goes back to the same exact session, sit in the same chair and say, 'Son, what has made you go on repeating this same mistake, because raising your voice and raising your hand are simply Panadol.' But this is not a radical solution if the father is present. I will pray if the father is not present. We do not want to raise our children. I mean, I mean. Why did I tell you about the part of the

three skills? When we say, 'my son', I must see you in the mosque; I must see you in the mosque; I must see you in the mosque. Then the boy goes in, looking for his father. Meanwhile she herself said, 'Oh my son, oh my son, I would love for God to see you in the mosque.' Behold, this is a call to prayer. I love it for the sake of God, as the adhan (the call to prayer) does. Truly, God loves; truly, God loves. I love that God sees you in the mosque, my son. I love

that God sees in the heart when His gaze enters, and the heart is not fixed on whether my father sees his father; perhaps the father in the front row, the boy, and he coughs. Consider this as worship. Worship means a soul; worship means a heart; worship means feelings; worship means turning toward God, the Mighty and Majestic. Let us not turn worship into merely performing duties or pleasing a creature. The creature is not among these; this is worship for God the Exalted. This ethical adjustment and the dialogue. Luqman, peace be upon him, in his address to

his son ends with such an Adjustment, and there is a line about your gait: lower your voice; if the voices deny themselves to the sound of donkeys, I will read it now, a little. We begin from the first: what is your gait, then lower it. If I am sitting in this place, and I want someone far away, if I do not walk I will raise my voice. First thing, what? The voice, no. in There are other disturbing sounds coming from animals, arising from many things that annoy me in general, and they bother me a lot.

Why, then, the donkey in particular? That's a very good question—what do you think? Glory be to the donkey; it seems to make a sound for no reason at all. Even when it is not carrying a heavy load, or anything similar, this is exactly how that sound comes out of it. Glory be to Him; He is wonderful. The valley here, as a setting, provides a concrete example for the boy to contemplate about speaking up. Then, specifically, an example of when the very voice itself signals that in certain circumstances you must raise your voice, even if it

feels unusual. But raising your voice without any justified cause is a problem indeed, and it should be avoided. Therefore, the ethical adjustment is to ensure it does not become so discouraging that I would urge you to humble yourself to the point of Concealing your own skills and offering nothing at all, rather than contributing meaningfully in its contexts and topics. Raise your voice when it is appropriate, in its proper place, and lower it when required, but do not be like the donkey who raises his voice merely to shout. Glory be to God, beautiful admonitions. I am

profoundly astonished by what follows this instruction from Luqman. God the Most High, in these verses, clearly guides a person on how to raise his sons and his dependents, and instructs the children how to deal with their fathers and mothers. And He also instructs the children how they should interact with their fathers and their mothers, in respectful and considerate ways. After two verses, there comes a statement that is meant to Set forth a teaching for life. If they are told, 'Follow what God has revealed,' they say, 'We will follow what we found our forefathers following' without

hesitation. Do not follow your father to the Fire of Hell, for that path leads to ruin. God is indeed the Greatest of all. There is something higher than the parents after the stern speech that commanded us to honor our parents, and this remains true. Yet, after this long tale, it says to you that there is something higher still, and that thing is the Qur'an. Do not obey your parents to the point of taking from them the bad things they do day by day in their daily lives. For as someone grows up—especially youths approaching puberty—they Begin

to notice more and more. They see their parents' mistakes, and when they are no longer children they might say, 'By God, Dad can do anything' when he becomes fifteen. There are many problems in the stage of adjustment. The stage of analysis is, glory be to God, that every stage in a person brings a skill and something new grows inside him. Life, desire, and the like at this stage—an analysis of what has happened. When he begins to analyze, my father would shout; my father would beat me, my father. Therefore we often hear in counseling that the

boy changes suddenly, and what does not change suddenly is the accumulation of this stage. Yes, and when he analyzed, he found that his father was harsh. He found that his father was harsh, and consequently he began To take a different path with him. And in this stage, ages fourteen and fifteen, among our youths—this is a stage we call in scientific terminology. Like a raging sea, what was in a wave is now in a wave, and soon it will stop, indeed; this is the phase of second and third years in secondary school, and university life will

calm, but this phase is a turbulent wave. An adolescent, or someone newly entering puberty, is neither a child nor a man. He is just beginning to enter puberty, and our childhood is adolescence. It is assumed that it begins at two years old. Upbringing starts from there. When the boy begins to want to rely on himself in what he eats and drinks. We do not give him room to choose his clothes; this fits, that does not; He should choose the color himself. From there it begins, and it is assumed that we should start from this stage:

give the boy the option to choose. Here we say he is not yet a man and not a child, because he is just entering adolescence. We eat it, we drink it, we offer him everything, meaning he is a guest of honor in the home. Suddenly he became a man—yes, a real man—and we are talking about you: you have become a man and you are the man of the house, and we do not say these words lightly, but beware, for he may act in ways unbecoming of his manhood. Be careful: we tell him with a rial

and we do not call him a child; this is a red line, this word is very painful indeed, truly; no matter what he does, Even if he errs once or twice or thrice, this word must not come near him. Because today he wants whatever he wants, even if his name is Muhammad, he wants Abu Jassim; and if his name is so-and-so, O father of so-and-so; and in the council he is praised, and we talk with him that he has become a man, and we seek his counsel on some matters. These matters, really, he needs to

absorb them fully; he wants to take them as if they were powers. Take them? No, my son, I will give them to you. These powers are, in fact, your right. Here, this is part of the household budget for you, my son; this is the house key for you; this and this, take them. Take them. It should not become a clash between me and you so that you take ordinary things; you must actually live them. How beautiful and meaningful is this gesture. These verses have now concluded. The Word of God, the Almighty, speaks as you have

described. And among the people are those who argue about God without knowledge, without guidance, and without a luminous book to lean on. Here we find the mention of the Book, then God, the Exalted, says: rather, we follow what we have found our fathers upon, even if Satan himself invites them to the punishment of the blazing Fire. There is something higher than the standing of the parents, by the measure Of their honor; yet I will recite a verse and ask you a question: God here speaks in the likeness of Luqman. Even if there were on earth

a tree of pens, and the sea were its ink, and beyond it seven seas more, the words of God would never be exhausted. Verily, God is Mighty and Wise. How can I give my son the words of God? If I should leave this world, he would not fear me, nor know me, nor see me. And if there is but one blessing I could bestow upon him, I would choose to give him the words of God. How can I depart from him bearing in my heart a living love, constant encouragement, steadfast protection, understanding, and the duty

to act according to the Book of God, the Exalted, the Glorious, as The last thing I leave with him? May that be something beautiful for him to carry. May he grow under that blessing, patient in trials, seeking God in every hour, and live by the Book with integrity, becoming a light to others. Knowledge. Like a single, tiny, delicate drop of water that a bird happened to lift from the vast, blue sea, a small bit of truth carried away. So who are we? So, who are we, really? I want this for my dear sons. It is

good company indeed. The greatest gift I leave to my sons is good company, a lasting influence. For they are the ones who will indeed live with Him. So what is good companionship, precisely? The good company: if one intends to disobey God, he will feel profoundly ashamed of this company. And the bad company: if he intends to obey God, he would be truly ashamed of this company. They are the ones who will be with Him and who will live with Him. As for the Holy Qur'an, indeed. As for the Noble Qur'an, we must build with our

children and also cultivate in them a love for the Qur'an, not merely perform a duty. May God have mercy on the living and the dead. I used to memorize the Qur'an. In the Mosque of Umar ibn al-Khattab, may God be pleased with him. There was a sheikh, and I ask God to forgive him, both living and dead; he meant well toward me, but perhaps the harshness through which he learned, he applied to me. I used to sit, a little boy, while he struck me with a cane, once on my right and once on my left,

as I read, and I read, and I read, and for any mistake he would strike me on the head. Okay. Does this method truly foster love between me and the Qur'an? Not at all. Today, as I sit here recalling this old video, I say, well, if I had been there in that moment I would have been reading in the words of Allah, the Blessed and Exalted: 'And do not argue with the People of the Book except in the best possible way.' So, the People of the Book, between you and him there is enmity. It seems

as though we are building love between them, a love that grows and deepens in the heart. And one sign of that love is that I read my daily devotional verses with a patient, grateful heart. I do not hurry, and I see how much of the portion remains to be read today. Instead, I read with love now. I move slowly from verse to verse, and I rise from verse to verse, higher with every line I take in. With love I come to know my Lord, the world, and my Hereafter, through this great Book. Wonderful. May Allah

the Exalted bless us to be among those guided by the Qur’an and loving the Qur’an. O Lord of the Worlds, and may He bless the Prophet and those who guard the Book. O Allah, make our sons and daughters among Qur’an folk. May Allah reward you for your time. Amen. O Sheikh, I am glad for this meeting; God bless it, for it is with the Qur’an. May Allah make us among them. O Lord, Amen. God willing, this is the last meeting. O Allah, Amen. God willing. May God bless you. Peace be upon you.