I'm a huge huge believer that like one of the biggest drivers of inaction and of procrastination and of paralysis is intimidation you look at it and you say like oh my God I'm sitting in my deadend job I'm sitting in this dead end relationship or my health is suffering and I'm overweight and I cannot possibly Envision the path to getting from here to being that fit person that I admire on Instagram to being that wealthy Entrepreneur that I admire on Instagram to being in that loving relationship that I admire wherever I've seen it in the
world and the reality is like you don't go from point A to point B overnight it's the tiny little steps welcome to the Jasmine star show I couldn't be more excited to bring together two Brilliant Minds as y all know I bring in guest co-host to help curate a Powerhouse group of people and one of those Powerhouse groups of people Is none other than sill bloom but before we get there I want to say welcome back to Jen gotley my amazing co-host here in Miami the conversations have been very powerful and as a reminder if
you're just tuning in to this particular episode The through line aka the theme of every single guest is focusing on Jen instead of me talking you're my co-host I'm going to turn that over to you let's do it when I thought about all of the guests that were coming today the Overarching theme when Jasmine asked me to think of like what's the theme what's what's the connecting Factor it was everybody somebody starts a little bit before they're ready every single person that we brought in had to take a risk had to do something that maybe
they weren't completely and totally crystal clear about and they started with some fear with some uneasiness with some uncertainty and made some magic happen that maybe they didn't even realize was Going to come out of it so that's the theme starting before you're ready starting before you're ready and on that note sahill I'm in an elevator going downstairs from this Miami skyrise and we go down and we have about eight floors together which what your elevator pitch who are you and what are you doing oh gosh that's a hard question I'm so bad at this
by the way no well hold on before we get there before we get there you're so bad at it because when I read Your bio I was like are you freaking kidding me his bio includes cond a rice you know it's like all these Awards and I went to Stanford and I'm just brilliant and that was like a PS at the end the cond I was like oh me and coni W on a first same basis uh SLE please welcome and thank you for being here how do we set the context and the framework for
taking action before you're ready yeah I um the reason I'm bad at this by the way is when you work in like a very Traditional path you have the like little one sentence intro of what you do so I started my career in finance and I always had that like it was very comfortable you'd say like oh well I'm a vice president at this firm like I work in private Equity I'm doing this and you had the like one line and so going to any cocktail party or any event people are like what do you
do you have your little on line and then you move on from it and it's super comfortable and you're Confident in it leaving that to go do the thing that you're UNC like you're not ready for to use your theme one of the things that holds people back from that is you like you don't know how to explain what you do and that's so scary to like all of a sudden feel like I don't have my little oneliner that I can just give people where like they're like what do you do I'm like I don't
I don't know I do like 10 different things and I'm like really excited about this which I actually don't do but I'm hoping to do someday it's like a really weird vibe my whole bias when I was making the switch into my like current world which we can talk about from Finance to your current world yeah to like this new thing was I would much rather sink as the captain of my ship than continue to thrive as a deck hand on someone else's and that for me was just like my calling and my Mantra of
I just want to go and I'll figure it out and like there's this um Ancient Persian poet roomie who said as you begin to walk on the way the way appears and I've had that up on my wall for as long as I can remember because it's so true in my experience that like you have no idea what the path looks like we all sit back and you like want to create okay I'm going to do this this this and this I'm going to create this perfect plan and this is exactly the path that I'm
going to go walk down but you can't see the path until you begin Walking it and in everything that I've ever experienced in my life and I would bet with both of you and on your entrepreneurial Journeys it's been the same you didn't know what the way was until you started walking on the way you had to just start moving and then you found it so it was a super long-winded not eight floor elevator way and I didn't even answer your question but that's how I'll open so what is what do you say if you
had to say something if I Had to say something what I would say is that my main focus is on creating positive ripples in the world and I do that in a few different ways one is through a venture fund where I invest in early stage technology companies one is through a holding company of a bunch of business businesses that broadly speaking help people augment amplify their voice as an individual so that they can create ripples in the world and then the Third Way is through my content Which is across basically any platform that you
can have access to and an upcoming book that I'm excited about which really is focused on helping people live slightly healthier slightly wealthier lives I love that you said slightly yeah I love that it's it's it's more actionable it's more tangible yeah my whole goal is like anything I put out into the world I want it to be actionable and I want it to help you in some tiny way like I think I think the Focus on like trying to get someone to create some dramatic change in their life is noble and great but it's
unrealistic because when you read something that asks you to create some dramatic change whatever the dramatic change is 99% of people engage with that they're like oh that sounds nice and then they go back to living their normal life but if you give someone something that's like the 1% change that actually might be acted upon they might go if you Tell tell them like hey go for a 15-minute walk today don't worry about like working out for 3 hours go for a 15-minute walk they might actually go do that and that might turn into a
20-minute walk the next day or a 30- minute walk the next day and then all of a sudden their entire life has changed and you were the like tiny little drop that created that ripple effect and so like when I say ripples that's what I mean by it it's like how can you be that Tiny thing that creates this Ripple out in the world I love it can we go back to the quote that you live by I'd rather be a captain on I'd rather go down being the captain of my own ship than the
decken on somebody else's can I read something that uh you had said on Instagram real okay you said your entire life can change in one year not five not 10 and so as we start this there are a lot of people I would venture to say 99.9% of the people who are watching and Listening right now they desperately want to be the captain of their own ship but they have a hard time looking at a timeline and not being beholden or believing that if it doesn't if it's not executed in their timeline that they will
have not succeeded they will be perceived a failure so let's just go back when you said that tiny little Ripple one year when you talk about changing your life in one year like this podcast listeners listen I'll I'll live And die by these folks they take action MH so somebody wants to look at one year to say I want to be a captain what do I do 30 minutes today on something that you're interested in I I I'm a huge huge believer that like one of the biggest drivers of inaction and of procrastination and of
paralysis is intimidation you look at it and you say like oh my God I'm sitting in my deadend job I'm sitting in this deadend relationship or my health is suffering And I'm overweight and I cannot possibly Envision the path to getting from here to being that fit person that I admire on Instagram to being that wealthy entrepreneur that I admire on Instagram to being in that loving relationship that I admire wherever I've seen it in the world and the reality is like you don't go from point A to point B overnight it's the tiny little
steps that happen along the way it's those tiny little actions that you take and so That bias has to come from doing the one little thing today and I always say this that like you are always just one positive decision away from being in a slightly better place than you are today and again it's one small decision like you don't need to worry about the hundred thousand decisions that are going to happen over the next year you just need to worry about this one there's this scene um have you seen the movie The Martian uh
it's like Matt Dam He stuck on Mars whole you know it's all about space it's like this crazy sci-fi movie but at the very end of it there's this amazing scene that I'm obsessed with where he's talking to like he's giving a lecture about how he got home from Mars sorry spoiler alert and um he basically says here's how it works you solve one problem and then you solve another one and then you solve another one and when you've solved solved enough problems you make get to come home and He's talking about it in the
context of surviving some traumatic event but that thing like that distilled idea of like just solve the one problem which is the action today don't worry about the Thousand actions that it's going to take after that solve the one thing then solve another one then solve another one Matthew MCC talks about it as like do one in a row he talked about it in his book green lights just do one in a row like it's a great thing for like people Coming back from addiction you're like just one day in a row just one day
of sobriety then another day then another day stacking days like if you can just do that the one tiny thing that pushes you in the right direction after 100 days of that you'll be transformed it's not it's not even like it's going to take five years that's why I said that on Instagram of you can change your life in one year because it's so tangible I can see a year from now 10 years from Now it's hard for me to see 5 years from now it's hard for me to see a year from now if
I do this one thing every single day is my life going to be in a much better spot after doing that for a year hell yes it is so I'm going to start doing that like just take on the day take on the next day take on the next day and let it let it compound a question that I get asked a lot and I would love to hear your take on this is about consistency and how to stay Consistent when you feel like you're doing the thing like let's say you start to pick up
a habit and you're like I'm going to do this for 30 minutes a day every single day I'm going to do it every day and they're doing it every day and a year goes by and nothing has really changed for them as far as getting to that goal that they desire what would you say about like patience consistency and when do you throw in the towel and shift gears and pivot or when Do you keep going and doing the thing that you're hoping is going to get you to that Big Goal yeah so there is
like a narrative fallacy I would say around people that have pounded their head into a wall for years and years and then eventually succeeded we like hold those stories up as examples of why we should all pound our heads into a wall on whatever the thing is right you're like oh well that actor actress didn't get a role for 10 years they were still strong And then they got their big break and so like that is then celebrated as the thing of like you should do that so if you're struggling and you're not making it
and whatever it is you're doing just like keep pounding your head and W cuz eventually make it that's just survivorship bias right like we're ignoring all the people that pounded their head into a wall for 10 years and then never made it and so the lesson there is it's not about pounding your Head into a wall it's about getting slightly better at how you pound your head into the wall each time you do it right like if I walk over to that brick wall over there and I start hitting it with my head and I
do it like 10 days in a row and I'm planning to do it for as long as it takes if after like 10 days I haven't seen a single budge or chip in the wall I might want to start thinking about whether there's a different spot on the wall that I should try cuz maybe That spot is like not the right place and so I use that analogy because that's what you need to do right like it's not about just the consistency it's also about getting slightly smarter at where you're applying your leverage like where
you're applying that energy and effort and so if you're not after 30 60 days seeing any tiny little glim of progress on what your main thing is maybe you need to like make the tweak reevaluate like what's the slightly Different version of this that I can approach it around and that I think is where a lot of people will see like the sudden surge is from just like think about how you can get slightly smarter at the thing you're doing each day that you go after it slightly smarter and on that note when when Jen
is talking about consistency and you're talking about the brick wall and finding a different spot to hit your head if that is your objective I thought that was beautiful It was like very visual to me and I'm like how many times have I actually cognizantly paused and said you're going to keep on hitting your head against the wall can you do it slightly different um you also had mentioned um a description of deferred happiness um when I think about consistency when I think about pounding my head against the brce when I think about my my
voluntarily like my voluntary decision I'm going to do this Can you explain what is happening from the Deferred happiness I'm not that happy banging my head against the wall yeah well it helps when you enjoy the thing when you enjoy the pounding of your head into the wall you've like really found it because then if I'm willing to pound my head into that wall for a decade I'm just probably not going to lose like if I get slightly smarter at it each and every time like you're going to have a really tough time Beating me
if I'm enjoying pounding my head into that wall so like when you find the thing that you're happy pounding your head into the wall on you've like really and probably most people don't ever find that in their life so when you found that just like savor it and really but theg like all great things from delayed gratification from the ability to say I know that the thing I want is on the other side of something that Sucks bottom line every single thing you want in life is on the other side of something that sucks M
everything like the body you want is on the other side of a hundred workouts that are really hard the relationship you want is on the other side of a hundred really hard conversations with the person that you care about the job you want the business you want to build it's on the other side of hundreds of hours of really challenging work you have to be willing To endure that in order to get the thing you want knowing that going in is the most powerful thing because you're not expecting it to be easy you're not expecting
it to be like oh here I've been handed this incredible life I've been handed this incredible relationship this incredible purpose Nothing in life that you actually should value should come easy there's no seven easy payments of 1999 for like an amazing relationship with a partner for an amazing Relationship with your kids for an amazing business where you feel a ton of purpose around it that doesn't exist and if someone tells you it does you should run in the other direction because it's BS and so I just like this fires me up a lot because it's
something that I think about constantly is like how can I just endure this a little bit longer how can I just Embrace this hard quote unquote of whatever it is that I'm going through and the beautiful thing about life is That you get to choose your hard and I've said this countless times times everything in life is hard but you get to choose what your heart is it's really hard to build an incredible body and physique it's also really hard to see your body completely fail you because you've haven't used it but you get to
choose which hard like it's really hard to build meaningful relationships it's also really hard to live on the surface with a bunch of People again you get to choose your hard it's really hard to live a life of purpose working on something you care about it's also really hard to live without purpose so you get to choose which hard you're pursuing you get to choose the Thorns that you're going to have on the path of your journey would you say that we get better at doing hard things the more that we practice doing hard things
like I see you in your cold plunge I see you I do the same thing so I used to hate it and now I do ice baths every Saturday to practice being uncomfortable so that I know that the next time something hard comes around I'm like I got this do you see that proof of concept the more that you do it because people don't like doing hard things how do we get better at doing hard things yeah I mean we live in a world that if you look at like the last 20 years technology has
progressively sucked the Friction out of our lives like everything if you think about any technology that exists its main purpose if it has succeeded has been in reducing friction in your daily existence like uber has made it much easier to get around instacart has made it easier to get your groceries you don't have to go talk to anybody Amazon has made it easier for me to get whatever I want at any point in time without having to interact with a single human being all Like you know dating apps I'm not in the dating scene but
like you don't have to go talk to a girl at a bar like all my friends that are in the dating me like I don't have to go through the discomfort of like putting myself out there to go up to a stranger at the bar and strike up a conversation I can just like swipe left right whatever so we've reduced all this friction in our lives and somewhere along the way we have to have realized that like the friction was actually what Created texture and meaning and something has to give there there like there's a
pendulum that has swung too far towards this frictionless existence where you're like oh actually maybe the friction was what created value and created meaning in our lives and so my calling has been on helping people realize that you can strategically reinsert friction via these hard things into your life and the cold plunge is like one of the trendy examples that People have gone after but it's no different than like choosing to walk the stairs instead of take the elevator it's no different than like doing the hard workout um than having the hard conversation rather than
just avoiding it and putting it off for forever because it's difficult those things like when you are willing to embrace the voluntary hard things you become better when the involuntary hard things inevitably come into your life and we All know this like we are going to face hardships of some sort that are totally involuntary at some point you lose a family member you know your kid gets sick you're sick you're injured uh you know you get fired from your job like your company goes under there these things are really really pain painful and hard but
when you've trained yourself to handle that stress to handle that chaos when you've become anti- fragile and you can benefit from that Incredible things happen yeah but it's only through the training I you can't just expect I mean it's like I can't expect to be able to go run a marathon if I've never run exactly no different okay so I feel like there's two sides of my mind and I S I feel like I could sit with you all day and talk about who you are like you on the inside out and you emanate that
and you're so lit up by these things and then there is another part of me that if I'm being Completely candid is I love how you're living life because of what you're putting out and I see uh your lifestyle choices what an Ardent fan you are of your high school sweetheart and wife and what a big supporter believer lover of your son what an advocate you are for your parents and the decisions that they made and how they showed up for you and so I see this really palpable beautiful bite-size firecracker lightning bolt content and
then I'm like what's your Business how could I look at this this constant desire to be in my purpose to inspire other people to create small Ripples and then say like okay but what is the backend of what sahill is doing in order to straddle these two lines yeah it's an interesting question so I um the business side of all of this was pretty organic so I worked in finance for the first seven years of my career I was at a private Equity Fund I was making lots of money things were Great on the outside
looking in you like get padded on the back you're like getting your big bonuses how old you around this time um that was from 2014 to 20 I was like 23 until I was 30 okay um I'm 33 today I just turned 33 um and things were great right like I was making millions of dollars at an age when people are just getting started in their career in life and so on the outside looking in everything was great on the inside I was pretty miserable um And didn't show that to the world I hid a
lot from the world I was very insecure I was overweight I was stressed my relationship with my wife had really suffered um you know I was like not present with my parents with friends um there were just a lot of areas in my life that really were strained by the fact that I was chasing this like singular scoreboard of trying to make more and more money and I thought that was right I thought that that was like what success looked like I was like oh things are great well why don't I feel good on the
inside like why are things actually not working um and I realized I had to make a change uh and so you know I had one conversation with a friend that really changed my life I sat down with this old friend not really a super close friend either and he asked how I was doing and I said it's getting hard being so far away from for my parents we were Living in California at the time my parents were uh in the Boston area and he said how old are they um and I said mid-60s he said
how often do you see them I said once a year and he said okay so you're going to see them 15 more times before they die and it was just math yeah it wasn't like an insensitive comment he wasn't trying to be rude it was just math and I've never felt a gut punch like that in my entire life and the next morning I Woke up and I told my wife that I wanted to make a change and within 4 5 days I left my job we sold our house in California and we bought a
house on the east coast to move back and that was really the like start of this journey of My Life um into building something different into like finding a whole different path the business side of that actually we go back you leave Finance within 45 days your wife is thumbs uping a move across the United States yeah do You know what you're going to do so I had started writing just like casually on Twitter about a year before that I had 500 followers on Twitter but I was stuck at home during covid like I had
no social life at the time because California was locked down and so I started writing on Twitter I'd probably grown my Twitter audience to like maybe 75,000 or so followers but there was no business around it you know like I had a few little like side hustle type things That I was doing around it like helping other people with their content Strate straty but there was no real business I didn't have a newsletter there wasn't like any businesses that had started and um this goes to the point of like the power of having someone in
your life that believes in you more than you believe in yourself is unparalleled and when I went and said this to my wife she had no reason to believe that this made sense I was making a whole lot of money We had a great house like we had a great life great setup and I went and said this crazy thing and she was like all right great like and I was like what like what am I going to do like I don't I don't know what I'm GNA do I don't have another job lined up
I don't have a thing and she looked at me and she said like why don't you do this thing that you're doing now that you're like currently doing on the weekends like as a little what if you did that fulltime Like couldn't it be bigger than it is today and I never thought about it like I just assumed I would go take another job in Finance on the east coast to just be closer to family um but suddenly you're like oh you think about something in a completely different way just because someone else believed in
you around it and that was what sparked me to actually and this is 2020 this is 2021 wow yeah this is uh like two and a half years ago uh May 2021 specifically So this was built out of Twitter yeah originally Twitter tweeting yeah yeah tweeting yeah yeah tweet threads um yeah I um but after that conversation I I actually took a step back and I was like okay I'm not like the creat mindset in general is like how do I get every dollar right now it's like all right I'm going to get this brand
deal I'm going to do this sponsored post I'm going to do this ad I'm going to sell this course I'm going to do all these things and my Whole perspective from the get-go was I think in decades it's just how I've always thought like I think in at a minimum 10e time Horizons and I can't do that for 10 plus years like I can't possibly there's just no precedent for like getting ad brand deals like over it's all hand to mouth right like you're getting paid yeah you might make a lot of money right now
but that can't feed my family for 20 years 30 years whatever that's not like there's nothing real There and so from the get-go my mindset was what is the actual business you can build that is decades long that like lasts Beyond you needing to create a new piece of content on a daily basis and my whole idea around that was like let me look at my own p&l like let me look at the things that I'm spending money on as I'm building this and how can I actually turn those into profit centers rather than cost
centers so Amazon Jeff Bezos is the most famous example of this they Had to build out all of this like internal compute and server power at Amazon in order to function as an e-commerce business they built that out and then realized it was extraordinarily valuable to other companies that would rent it from them so that was Amazon web services that they started selling the server capacity to other companies and now that is like a hundred billion dollar business that would be a Fortune 100 company just on its own completely Separate from the Amazon that everyone
knows the entire idea there was like turn a cost center This Server thing into a profit Center for I wanted to do same on smaller level can weuse yes what sill just did is ask himself what am I spending money on that I could actually make money with I need to bring you around with me more often to do that slow down I get excited about things I'm like everyone Understands this because here's the thing I am tracking with you 1,000% and I am 100% like AWS let's go and then all of a sudden I
know that there is a disconnect between the person who's saying oh it's a $100 million business that would be on phone someone's like but wait I'm trying to get my first million so what I want to do is just like okay look at your profit and loss statement and ask yourself is there anything on this list anything I'm Paying for that I could say wait a minute could I actually make money could you give us I'll give you examples yes you are yes you are the first one was I had built really like blueprints for
myself of how to grow my platform on Twitter it turned out there were a lot of other people that were trying to do the same thing now you can monetize that by selling a course I could create a course around how to build a Twitter audience and I could sell a $100 course To a whole lot of people and try to make it would be a lot of courses but try to make a million dollars off selling an a $100 course or I could get high-paying clients to pay5 to $10,000 a month to have like
a true service delivered to them for you to like Implement These Blueprints around how to build your audience doesn't take that many clients then at to $10,000 a month to make a million do and I hired someone to help run that to actually like build that out And operationalize it for clients and buil a business around it so something that I had actually kind of like created myself now turns into a business that very quickly I'm able to drive leads to because my whole platform like whenever people ask me oh how do you grow on
Twitter you're like oh well actually this company that I own can actually help you if you're looking to do that is that how you initially grew this just by people asking you how did you do it how Did you go to market exactly just by people asking I mean it was totally organic leads the beauty of A5 to $10,000 a month client too is like you don't need many leads and frankly you can't service that many leads when you're first starting out but if you have eight clients you're in a million-dollar business I mean it's
like it's just not many clients at that price point and so you're serving like startup Founders you're serving you know small Business own like people who can pay that they're happy to run that through their business because it's 50ish percent off after you think about the tax deduction and it creates enormous value for them like having a platform on Twitter on LinkedIn which by the way like I'm going to convince both of you by the end of this to start building your LinkedIn presence because it's an unbelievable platform um but H like for a small
business owner having a big Platform on LinkedIn can drive millions of dollars of value into their business and so they're perfectly happy to pay $5,000 a month to go do that I mean it's an incredible Roi so that was just one example I mean the next one was like video I was starting to post videos on Instagram we were doing video edits I was paying $5 to $110,000 a month to like random agencies and editors to make me clips from podcasts I went on and I was sending them referrals for clients Cuz people were asking
me constantly like who did this video for you and they were paying me $500 for every referral just a onetime fee and I looked at it and I was like I must have contributed 50% of this guy's business and he's making $2 million a year and I made $2,500 like it makes absolutely no sense let me just go launch this business and so we went and did that we went and created a video business and partner with someone incredible to run it and we Drive tons of leads to it and like basically overnight it's a
$2 million business okay I'm going to pause here again yes as you're looking at your profit and loss statement what sahill did is notice I'm spending about $88,000 a month hiring an Editor to create video content he's like I also know I'm sending out leads to other people and and I can look at the LTV lifetime value if he says I've been working with this editor for a year and I've spent somewh In the ballpark of $10,000 worth of editing $220,000 worth of editing what would it look like if I sent people who are in
my similar state to somebody else and he could do back of the napkin math just based on the leads that he got on his own multiplied by the lifetime value he could look at a business but he didn't just say you want to know what I'm going to do I'm going to go in and I'm going to build this business from the ground up he decided to say I'm Spending money I know I can get the leads I I know I can make money what I need here is an operator I need a partner I
need somebody who's going to come in and do the things that maybe I'm not that strong at or I just don't want to do so s is saying what is an expense that I can turn into a profit Center what is my skill set and how do I get somebody else with a different skill set to handle all the leads that I have been getting a $250 $500 referral on all I'm Saying is look at this framework there is something on your profit and loss and here's the thing you might look at sah and be
like I'm not the person who's getting the leads but could you be partner for somebody who is cool what you just said there too is a perfect example of a broader relationship framework of complimentarity is more important than compatibility and it applies to romantic relationships just as much as business ones but everyone is Constantly thinking about compatibility in a relationship like oh am I compatible with this person for a longlasting relationship it's much more important to be complimentary and to have your skill sets and your passions and your interests be complimentary to the other person's
so that when you are drained they're able to step up and be in that role like it can't always be 50/50 in these things right sometimes you're at 10 and you need the other person to be at 90 sometimes you're going to be at 90 and they're going to be at 10 and having that complimentarity and having that mindset of what I'm looking for is complimentarity it's not necessarily compatibility that is like a big mental shift I've had around business and my own relationship and my like Reflections on what has made my relationship ship with
my wife so strong is exactly that so would you and I I know that we're Very new in our um like peer-to-peer relationship friendship we are more complimentary because we possess similarish skill sets like we know we can talk get people's attention guide people with leads somebody who would complement that skill set would be you talk you get people to P attention you get leads and I can oper operationalize the backend yeah my perfect example of that is my business partner in a lot of these businesses is um his name is Hunter and Hunter has
a track record of 10 plus years of building service-based businesses like dealing with high ticket Services client-based businesses he's done that over and over again and he's ruthlessly efficient with it he knows how to run them he knows the pitfalls I don't know any of that and I don't want to know any of that and I would suck at that like I'm not good at managing people and I'm perfectly self-aware enough to say that like I don't need to be the best people manager in the world actually if I ever have like an organization within
my like holding company that's like 100 people something went really wrong like I I screwed something up badly I don't want that and so when I found that though like Hunter is great at that but hunter doesn't have the platform I have or the relationships that I have with these creators with the people we can partner with and so when you bring that together That's like the one plus one equals 3 moment that everyone is looking for in business and in your personal life in your relationships how do you go about making those connections with
those people because I find that usually the compatibility thing is the thing that attracts initially you to somebody like a friend like it's like oh yeah we have all these things in common we've got this similar energy this similar Vibe so if somebody's listening to this right Now and they're like okay I really need someone that has the thing that I'm missing to be my partner in this business that I want to start where do they go to find that person do they have to be really super intentional about finding that type of person how
did you find your partner Hunter I guess maybe you can even use that as an example I think you know F first off putting yourself out there into the world is extraordinarily important in everything That you do I I call it Lux surface area like basically the idea is you get lucky and people say it's luck the reality is it's engineered it's like engineered Serendipity you're putting yourself out into the world and by expanding your luck surface area more lucky things can happen that's by like going to events that you're nervous to go to that's
by engaging in online communities and discussions it's by like publishing that thing that you're terrified to publish Rather than just like holding it internally all of those things expand your luck surface area you're more likely to meet that person the second piece of that is being willing and actually embracing situations where you feel like the other person is very different from you yeah where like they have an entirely different background or set of assumptions about the world different perspectives they come from like a whole different ecosystem and World and actually opening up to learn about
that and like being interested in other people and in other different worldviews and other different perspectives um on business on relation on on whatever it is that you're going about most people hide behind um like sameness right you like you seek out sameness because it's comfortable it's the most comfortable thing in the world is to just have conversations only with people that completely mirror your Perspectives and worldviews it's the safest way to live I can guarantee that actually you'll never have your world viiew questioned you'll never have your assumptions questioned everything will be totally fine
until all of a sudden something bad happens and you're like you're dead because you haven't had that like battle testing and the hardening that comes from seeing different sides of things but putting yourself out into the world with a broad array of people And actually embracing the differences that come that's how you find the compliment the the complimentarity rather than just compatibility um you and I were texting yesterday and you had said you talked about the weather in Miami I said thank you so much for coming and you're like um I'm going to dinner tonight
and and you went to the dinner that Jen had hosted and I've gone to her dinners before and everybody stands up and then they say who they are What they do and what they need based on how you're thinking about comp being complimentary and um compatible who was um complimentary yesterday and what how are you thinking I want to get into like what did you see who did you talk to how did you get there mhm I would say most people there were probably compliment I I I think I'm probably pretty different than most of
the people that were at that dinner there was a lot of like domain expertise In different unique areas that I know nothing about and I'm fascinated by learning most broadly like what I enjoy and what I get energy from is just learning and that's learning about people it's learning about ideas like that's what gives me energy and so whether or not I like agree with an idea or whether or not I think it's like uh you know an exciting thing to go about and pursue I love learning about the thing and so like there was
someone There that um actually I was seated next to a gentleman who has gone super deep in like direct response marketing for his whole life and has like is thinking about how AI interacts with it and how it's going to change and I'm seated next to him I don't I know nothing about direct response marketing I've never been in that world I don't know anything about it but I'm launching a book next year and I'm interested in like oh yeah like is there a direct response angle on How you like and so I'm asking him
like how would you think about that if you were to a book like what would you do like what would be like the little hacks you would go about knowing what you know about direct response marketing and so then I'm sitting there and it's like I just got a free college lecture from like an expert on something that I never if I didn't go to that dinner I never would have known you know the one or two things that I picked up that then I'm Sending you know I'm writing down in my notebook and I'm
sending to my chief of staff like hey we should look at this and this when we're thinking about the book launch so that's just like one tiny microcosm example of when you open yourself up to things like that you never know what that like one thing is that is going to be the power law outcome in your life and that applies again like it applies to business where you might find that like one person that You partner with I didn't know when I was going to meet Hunter at some random event but then we did
and I think we're going to build a hundred million business together incredible power law outcome but I had to meet thousands of people over the course of 10 plus years in order to meet the one person same thing happens to relationships you don't just like stumble upon like the first time you meet someone maybe maybe some people do iol I know exactly so maybe I'm maybe I'm a rare example of this but like it's pretty rare that that would happen um and you have to go out like you have to go meet thousands of people
you have to put yourself out there you have to like get uncomfortable you have to you know uh manifest it in whatever way like you have to have those conversations you have to do that work in order to have the power law outcome like asymmetric things only happen when you took enough bets for the one Asymmetric thing to hit yes yeah you didn't know you were sitting next to he is the considered number one uh direct response copyr in the entire world I mean I literally got like a people probably pay $10,000 to have totally
and so you never know you got to get in the room and a lot of people they they actually stop their own luck right would you say that you've you've seen that a lot where people just they they have an opportunity and they don't show up for It because it's too hard or because they they feel too uncomfortable yeah I think there's a lot of um look it's easier for extroverts like we're all probably like at least to some extent comfortable extroverted enough to like you can be in that room and you can be the
light in that room that's connect like you you're there and you're standing up and you're connecting people and introducing them and it's like I am in awe of it and find it so inspiring because I'm not nearly On that level but not everyone's like that there are people that are like super introverted it's really uncomfortable for them to stand up and say what they do and people hide behind that they say like well that's just how I am so I'm not going to go to these things and what I would encourage anyone that's listening to
do is like in 2024 just like push yourself to be uncomfortable a couple more times it doesn't have to be every single day by The way like you don't it's going to be draining for you so it doesn't have to be every day but just like a couple more times deal with that discomfort and like go do that thing that scares the [ __ ] out of you go go to that dinner stand up like do the improv class like whatever the thing is that's scaring you just go and do it because you really have
no idea what you're capable of the only way you find out is by putting yourself out there it's by like taking that risk it's By doing that thing that terrifies you that you ultimately figure out the actual boundaries of your competency and capability and I just like nothing makes me happier than seeing someone that was like previously afraid to do something do it and then experience the benefit that came from it it's just like that gives me so much life and energy when I see that there was actually there was a woman at the event
last night who stood up and said during her uh during her uh In that she was really introverted and she was nervous about doing it but she was like lit up by standing up you could tell that like she was saying she was nervous but she actually didn't really feel that nervous like she was getting energy from the room and from talking about it she could see the people smiling and people nodding at her and that was so cool to me to see someone that like clearly would have self-identified as introverted and that Being a
terrifying situation actually have this like new light to her and embrace the fact that she had like a real growth mindset around being able to go do that I don't know if you've heard um there's this concept of neuroplasticity which is like the idea that your brain can actually change in structure and function on the basis of experiences so taking on new experiences doing new things actually changes the wiring of your brain your actual brain Can change in form and function it's the basis of this whole idea of growth mindset you can actually develop and
change but it only comes through action it can't it it cannot come from sitting around planning in a room reading whatever you have to actually take action on something in order to change how you operate and so it's so fun to see situations where people are enabled to actually take those actions and to create those rooms like you're creating A room like that where someone can take that one action that positively changes their trajectory I just think that like that gives me so much energy to get to experience that okay so a couple things if
we uh go back a couple minutes you had mentioned that after after last night's event and then you met with somebody this morning it's like you're putting these ideas around and you say carry this notebook around and I have to say that I did a lot there it is there It is it's proof it's proof I done a lot of creeping on who you were because I'm UND when I look at something it's a curse I walk into any place at any time and I look at the structure of the business it's just I something
I can't turn off so the first time I came across your content I immediately was like okay well this guy's amazing very strong understands point of view where he is in the world what he's doing and how he's doing it and then I immediately went to Like the business component so I started reading your blogs started downloading resources started listening to on podcast interviews and my number one question was is this him in real life like this is a this is a very unique skill set so then the first time we've ever met was today
you walk in the door and you have like these really cool gold worm glasses that Mi Miami Vibes you're drinking like you know black yeah put them on that's the whole thing to Experience if you're not watching this on YouTube you have to like so we walk in and I'm like oh Stanford educated baseball player academic award-winning athlete that he is and um I'm seeing him being introduced to people myself then he takes time for himself sits at a desk and starts writing furiously in this book and me being me I have no swag I
was like what are you doing he's like I'm just writing down a few things my thoughts what I've Heard and I'm like well what did you hear like I want to know who he is and what he's doing and had breakfast with somebody this morning but that wasn't enough he said I write them down and I'm like okay so do you just write them down so it's like hand eye brain coordination and he's like well yeah but then I take action within 48 hours and I'm like so when he's talking about neuroplasticity it doesn't exist
without action can you get us into your brain and then expand Ours yeah so what you just referenced is this like little rule of thumb that I have around this notebook so I carry around it's a mol skin little like pocket leather notebook and the reason I have a pocket size is twofold one is so that it actually fits in my pocket and I can carry it the other one is it forces you to actually distill thoughts like you can't write long-winded notes because the paper is only so big so you have to write like
little short quick Tweets yeah exactly like everything has to be like distilled cut down to the to the essence and um my rule on action developed because I found that in school you were encouraged to like literally write down everything like you'd sit in a lecture and you'd like take note on every single thing the person said and then you're not listening anymore like you're just writing and you're regurgitating right it's just like in one ear okay onto the paper whatever and I'm not actually there's nothing there and so what I started doing was saying
okay anything I write down in my book I need to take action on and by take action what I mean is I need to either think about it more explain it to someone else or like log it somewhere else as something that I'm going to go deeper on later and what that does for me is like anything I write in there now becomes cemented in my mind because if I if I Like learn about neuroplasticity great now it's gone if I don't do anything but if I go talk about it with you and I explain
it to you and I see okay how did Jasmine react to that like what were the pieces that she had questions on what were the things that I didn't explain clearly enough what was the way that I said it that like lit her eyes up now I know a little bit more information about the thing I know where I need to learn more I know where I need To like say it a little bit more clearly I know where I need to slow down that is like the incredible Insight that allows a simple idea that
you wrote down to become this like incredible thriving Concept in your mind that is now like connecting it's actually like linking with other things that you have that are already on your pattern on your math um so yeah do you have anything in that book that you ever write down that's an action step that you know that you need To take that maybe you've been too afraid to take and are there strategies that you use when you're really afraid to do something like let's say there's like a big action in there and you're like man
I'm scared of this and here's the strategy that I'm going to use to take action even though I'm afraid cuz I know a lot of people listening are probably thinking okay well I need an actual tangible strategy to just start and take that first action step because It scares me so much that I just keep putting it off to the next day and the next day and the next day usually fears of action are because of the size of the thing that you're acting on at least in my experience it's usually like that thing is
so big like my goal is so big that I I mean it's paralyzing it's like um is a silly example but there's this concept called um bured in's ass it's about this donkey um that's like between Two pales of water it's like right in between and because it's the same distance from each bail of water it can't decide which bail to go to so it dies of thirst so it's like the rational thing would just be to drink one of the bales of water but you get completely Paralyzed by like trying to make the perfect
decision that you just get stuck and you die and the biggest thing that always helps me I'm going through this right now with my book project Pro is You have to deconstruct it down to the tiniest simplest first step and it sounds cliche but it just plain works like I undertaking this book I wrote the whole draft I got it done it was with my editor came back to me you know I hadn't written the draft and it at that point like there were parts of the book that i' had written 6 months before and
I'm going through and reading it again as I'm making the next round of edits and I'm looking at it and I'm like this is Isn't uh you know nip and Tuck edit Like This Is War like I need to cut Mass like there is stuff that I can't believe I wrote that like I'm a different writer now than I was that is terrible like I looked at it and I was like this isn't going to be a simple process this is going to be absolute war going through and editing this and it paralyzed me like
for two days I was just like I can't even open the document because I didn't know the first step was so Intimidating of even acknowledging how much work there was going to be to get this to a point where I felt good about it and I sat down and I was like okay well what is the single first thing I need to do it's like okay well there's that one part let me just go in like write down bullets a couple of ideas that would like bring that actual narrative line together and so I went
and did that and then when I went back into the document I was like oh I've already done the bullets like let me see if I can just like flesh that out into sentences and now all of a sudden you're like okay now I'm making forward progress there's like the big thing now feels more like a little puzzle where I'm like sticking little pieces into it than the like massive expanse of I don't know what it looks like did you ever do puzzles when you were a kid or like Legos or anything like that I
always loved like Puzzles where it was like this enormous puzzle you're looking at and you're like how the F am I ever going to start doing this it's like insane puzzle and then you go create the outline or you create the one corner you're like oh well now I can kind of see it like now I have a little bit of a dopamine hit because I've gotten a few of these things in place now I'm starting to feel like a winner now I'm starting to make positive movements in the right direction on it And so
it's like it's creating that it's like how do I create the corner of it yeah to use the puzzle analogy in whatever it is that I'm afraid of doing and but it it requires thought like you have to sit down and think about what is the tiny action that is going to start moving this in the right direction but if you can do that if you deconstruct it a little bit it makes a huge difference get that little win that's what creates the momentum I mean the winning Sensation is undefeated like that little feeling of
a win I it's why I had a um this is recent I had a a 24-year-old young man reached out to me who was upset with where he was in life and asking me for advice about how to improve his standing in life and I replied and said for the next two weeks wake up at 5:00 a.m. and work out and he replied I was like that's not really business I'm looking for how to make more money I need to like improve my Life I was like trust me just do that and the point I
was making was one of the biggest reasons you're unhappy with where you are in life is because you don't feel like a winner and if you can change that you can start to change a whole lot and this is not like energy woo woo it's it's very real like if you can get up early and go work out for two straight weeks you convince yourself in some small way that you were a winner that you did the hard thing that you Said you were going to do and when you do that that has Ripple effects
into every area of your life cuz then you're going and you're sitting down at your desk you're like oh man like no I'm actually a winner I'm so like I got up and I did this I focused now I can do this you're going in eating and you're like I'm going to eat healthier cuz I just worked out why would I why would I not I'm going to go to sleep at the right time I'm going to wake up at the Right time like all the things in your life start to fall into place when
you create the one positive thing that makes you self-identify as a winner um so doing that like whatever that thing is that's going to start that little winning momentum will completely change your life can I talk to you about that Winner's mindset and how you said getting that win like there's nothing better than it and so I know you have a son who's adorable and um by following Your stories you need to find him the perfect plush animal to take home every new city you take him a plush animal and so I know that you
in the past you talked about playing baseball at Stanford and then you got to the end of your career um due to an injury and your dad played a very integral role to watching you play succeed and then as you transitioned into other athletic endeavors your dad being there with you when you look at your son and you Tred To build a Winner's mindset what did you learn from your dad that you would want to share with your son oh there's so much um I I have a really amazing relationship with my dad um it
really goes back to his relationship with his dad um I I in general think that we either amplify or reject what we feel like we had with our parents and how we interact with our kids it's one way or the other either like amplify the incredible things that you feel like you Had or you reject how you feel like you trauma was created in you and um unfortunately my dad was on the bad side of this where um his father did not accept that he wanted to marry my mom um my mom's from India uh
and my dad is white and his dad was not accepting of that fact and told him he had to choose between him or her and he walked out the door and never saw him again his whole life uh to this day i' I never met my dad's father he passed away I've never Met his mother he has siblings I've never met um full separation from the family um what an incredible faith of his love in my mother um which is been a you know role model of like a loving marital relationship for as many years
as they've been together they just had their 40th wedding anniversary um but my dad's relationship with me I think was so informed by what he felt he was lacking with his father and as a result he was so unwaveringly supportive of Anything that I wanted to pursue he was always the first person to be taking me to my lessons taking me to my game supporting whatever it is that I was excited about and you mentioned it when I had to retire from baseball the hardest call in the world was calling my dad I knew that
I couldn't play anymore like I was fine with it I had come to terms with it it sucked but I was like you know it right like it it's just not going to happen but calling him and Telling him that so much of our relationship was grounded in this Sport and what we had built and all he said on the phone was like I don't care what whatever you do next I'm going to be there to support you sorry um and this past year I went and ran a a marathon it's like a silly example
of this I went and ran a marathon and uh he surprised me flew out and it was just such a amazing example To me of like he truly lived by that it was not it wasn't words it wasn't just words it wasn't just something that he had said it wasn't on paper it was how he actually was going to live you know the whole idea of like what you say as a human being is fine But ultimately you're going to be defined by your actions and so as I think about the lesson for myself with
my own son It's that like I want to just be there to support him in whatever it is that he's getting excited about like I don't care if he loves baseball I don't care if he loves drama if he loves ballet like whatever the thing is that he's getting excited about I want to be his cheerleader I want to be there in the front row and be there to support him and what that is and at the end of the day like what more can You ask for in a parent than that it's like someone
to be there to support you in whatever your endeavors are win or lose um I guess part of what led me to that question is um being able to see as a parent myself to could I love myself the way I love my daughter and when I see a model of your father the way that he showed up for you and then I see a model of how you show up for your son and the way I I want to show up for my daughter I ask myself as entrepreneurs Parents are not could we not
extend the same amount of love and support and Grace as we pursue our own Endeavors so maybe you don't have a supportive parent and then the big thing that I've pulled away is we create positive ripples by standing in our purpose and having encouraging people to take a 1% to make a 1% change and we've seen that modeled through saw Hill we've seen it narrated through sawah Hill we've seen Jen ask really great amazing follow-up questions But at the end of the day the biggest takeaway for me is to extend the same amount of Grace
that I have seen other powerful parents do it and then the way that I would like to show up for my child and the big push for me in 2024 is can I love myself and encourage myself to pursue those things that I want to um sill uh you are a powerful human being you have opened yourself to your business the way that you think you encourage us and I think that many of us Listening are going to make more than a 1% change for people who would like to join that uh Journey where do
people go to connect with you best place is probably my newsletter sahil bloom.com you can find everything there fortunately having a weird name it's pretty easy to s a h i l Bloom and um on that note I wasn't going to say anything but he mentioned the newsletter when did you start building your newsletter May of 2021 May of 2021 and It now has over 600,000 subscribers I mean I mean like pushing 700,000 P okay so by the time this thing drops it's going to be well over um 700 and I think that is a
testament of showing what what it means to fall in love with something and pursue that journey and make 1% changes at getting better every time he sends a newsletter if you want to be on that Journey sahil boom.com and be sure to follow him Twitter Where it All Began Instagram where it's still going on uh It is an honor and it is a privilege if you found this episode inspiring be sure to tag sahill jenor Gotti and your girl Jas and star like always it's an honor and privilege thank you for listening to the Jasmine
star show
