[Music] hi everyone my name is zoe and i'm from new york but let me tell you msa will give one thousand dollars to one lucky person who subscribes in the next seven days tell your friends your sister brother and mom to subscribe now ever since i was little my mom was super dramatic she tried to be an actress before choosing to be a lawyer for money but she never lost her ability to be extra when i was 5 years old i fell in love with the fashion shows on tv but mom said zoey you're too
young to watch this i like pretty dresses my little girl is growing up too fast we're supposed to wear costumes and pretend we're the powerpuff girls mom you're blocking my view this is tragic just let the kid watch what she likes please dad always supported me no matter what i did like one time when i was nine i cut up mom's dresses to make awesome outfits of my own mom nearly had a stroke my sequins oh no oh no oh no i can make you a new dress out of the scraps mom oh lord what
did i do to deserve this tragedy look and so we go our little designer god i loved my dad with his support i wrote to all my favorite designers and sent them my ideas i even wore my own creations to school with full confidence no matter what other kids said but when i reached 7th grade my entire life turned upside down i came home to find my parents in a heated battle and mom revealed a huge secret she'd kept from us all these years i wasn't my dad's real daughter she lied and said i was
his because she wanted me to have a family a family built on what lies i can't take this i begged him not to but dad packed up his things and just left he even blocked us so we couldn't call him in an instant my best friend was gone and my life was shattered mom and i got into the biggest fight of our lives and that's when it happened for the very first time my ears started ringing i couldn't hear anything mom was saying my heart was racing like a horse and i couldn't breathe and the
next thing i knew i blacked out when i woke up i was in the hospital the doctor said uh it was just a panic attack kids have them all the time she's fine fine she passed out what if it happens again miam this is the er we're very busy i didn't want her to make a scene here so i pulled her away i just wanted to go to school and act like everything was normal but it wasn't my friends in school heard about my parents divorce from their families and when i got back they had
a million questions for me that's when my ears started ringing again and before i knew it i was hyperventilating in the nurse's office i would panic before tests sleepovers and every time a teacher asked me a question in class i took months off of school just to stay in bed mom tried to get me out in a hundred different ways but i was just too scared to get another attack i thought things would never get better until one day in the eighth grade when i get a letter in the mail that changed my life it
was from amelia my favorite fashion designer in the whole world she loved the designs i sent her and she wrote back because she wanted to get to know me she even sent me her email i literally flew out of bed i emailed her in a rush and like an idiot i blabbed about every problem in my life including the divorce the moment i pressed send i felt instant regret why didn't i talk about design i was busy kicking myself when she emailed me back zoey i never even got to meet my dad but i'm still
doing great right have hope and hold strong wow she was my idol i rushed to tell mom about what happened but she got so dramatic as usual you're texting a stranger online who is this person just the most famous designer in the whole country i felt so relaxed i didn't have to worry about my fears or my dreams i could just ask amelia and she really believed in me amelia had advice about everything we were in the eighth grade now and my friends felt distant after my long absence amelia had a quick solution for that
just make one of your friends trip at lunch and then help her up if she spills food on herself just give her an extra shirt from your locker what that's crazy trust me she'll love you i did it she asked and i was shocked when it actually worked the girly trip spilled soda all over herself and when i gave her my extra shirt she hugged me you're such a lifesaver wow that was fast amelia it worked i knew it she was a bit over the top but her techniques were flawless i followed amelia's rules and
by the time i've reached 9th grade i was doing well in my classes i had plenty of friends and i even became vice president of the school's fashion club everything was going well until one day one of the girls said hey zoey is this your dad he's getting married again look her words took the wind out of me she showed me the wedding announcement and just like that my ears started to ring not this again why are you shaking your head like that ew she's putting her finger in her ear can you do this outside
i ran out of there with my heart racing everything was spinning was i gonna pass out again suddenly someone close to me spoke and it was a really cute guy are you okay ah who are you i'm a new student step away from me please i didn't want anyone to see me like this what's happening to you nothing my ears are ringing that's all i was sweating and gasping for breath and the boy came closer take off your sweater what you're having a panic attack i've had these before really the cold will help you trust
me i pulled off my sweater with a hoof i couldn't believe it but he was right the moment the cold wind hit me i felt better and i started to calm down are you a magician he just smirked and walked away i'm pretty sure i just fell in love at first sight i was convinced the boy was just a handsome ghost until he showed up in my next class my name is elliot i like music i don't like people thank you i waved at him as he sat down but he didn't respond did he not
recognize me turns out he was so cold and aloof he ignored everyone that tried to talk to him the moment class got over he flipped on his headphones and ran off to be alone i wanted to get to know him but his attitude made me nervous of course the best person to ask for help was amelia my first tip stick a bit of your dress into his watch during class when he moves you'll be like connected so romantic it wasn't elliot just took off his watch and walked away what okay he sounds like a tough
cookie just ask him for a ride home on a rainy day you know he'll help you he did help by handing me his umbrella and asking me to walk home this is not working i should just talk to him normally not if you want a real romance there's one last trick as old as time grab a bunch of papers and fall into his arms let him catch you it will work as one final effort i took some papers in my hand and waited until the perfect moment then i flew into his path and all the
papers went flying in the air he grabbed me by my shoulders did you just fall down on purpose no liar he dropped me and started walking away hey wait do you not remember me you helped me on your first date i wouldn't have helped you if i knew how weird you were okay rude maybe i did try to get your attention but that's your fault you were like a beautiful angel who just appeared out of thin air to help me i'm a girl i'm not made of stone i turned a storm away and he said
i'll be gone in a while there's no point in getting to know me what i change foster homes every few months i don't stick around he walked away and my heart twisted he didn't have a home is that why he had panic attacks i wanted to reach out to him but i had no time to myself the next few weeks there was a huge fashion contest in the school and kids from all over the town we're gonna compete i worked my butt off for that show but the day of the contest the fashion club president
walked in with some news one of our male models has the stupid flu no i found a super hot replacement in the hallway elliot walked in and i was shocked you're joining the show i'm handsome and tall and i was rude to you so i owe you one oh thank you also your president's paying me 50 bucks let's do this i helped him practice his walk and chose an outfit for him dang he looked so good in everything i didn't help but blush every time i touched him when the show started i was literally holding
my breath as the models walked by in my outfit i wanted to win so bad and i did at the end of the show the judges announced my name as the winner and my entire team screamed we ran up to the stage to accept our award mom was hooting for me from the audience presenting our award today is a special surprise guest please welcome amelia from amelia's designs my heart dropped to my stomach i watched amelia see amelia walk up to me like a goddess congratulations amelia how are you here oh my god i grabbed
her in a tearful hug and she looked shocked uh are you a fan of my work i'm zoe we've been best friends for years i'm sorry have we met before no but you've been writing letters and emails to me since i was in the seventh grade look i pulled out my phone and showed her the proof but she just shook her head why would i spend so much time talking to some idiot kid i mean uh these emails aren't for me that's impossible uh here's your reward good luck with everything she ran away awkwardly while
the people around me buzzed with whispers i felt so humiliated if it wasn't amelia emailing me all this time who was it suddenly i couldn't breathe and the panic attack hit me like a truck my ears started ringing so loud i knew i would pass out that's when elliott took my hand you need fresh air come on he pulled me outside where i took off my sweater in a rush that's when i got an email from amelia i had to act like i didn't know you so i didn't make my other fans jealous i'm sorry
i sent her a hasty reply but the moment i hit send i heard a phone rang nearby i sent another message and heard the sound again i followed the rings only to find my mom crouching behind her car replying to my emails mom zoey it's you you've been sending these emails no let me see your phone no give it to me i jumped on my mom and wrestled the phone out of her hands one look at her email and i knew it was her are you kidding me all this time it was you what's wrong
with you i'm sorry i felt so guilty about the divorce and you were so unhappy without your dad i couldn't bear the thought of you having those panic attacks and you didn't want to go to a doctor i had to do something what violate my privacy and make me dance your tune like a monkey that's not how it was zoe all these years i thought i'd made a true friend and i thought i was sharing my fears and hopes with my idol and it was you what a waste i threw her phone to the ground
and stormed back home i never felt so angry or so embarrassed how could i have not seen it all those dramatic ideas right out of a movie of course it was mom there was no way i was going back to school and i refused to even look at mom no matter how many times she apologized i just slept in a pile of my clothes like an old cat until a week later when there was a knock on my bedroom door go away mom or should i say amelia it's me can we talk how do you
know where i live your mom messaged me on facebook asking for help ugh why aren't you coming to school are you embarrassed it's not just that ever since my dad left i've been relying on amelia for everything she was the reason i started having fewer panic attacks she made me feel confident i can't go back into the world without that the person who made you feel better is still downstairs mom yeah right look maybe her methods are insane yes but she was just trying her best to take care of you as someone who's never had
a mom i kind of envy that was he right i opened my emails with amelia after weeks and when i read them knowing it was mom i couldn't help but laugh she was so crazy but she was really trying to be there for me i went downstairs to see her and when i said hi she fell to my feet i'm the worst mother on earth i don't deserve to live with you i ruined your life i'm so sorry zoey calm down mom why didn't you just tell me it was you did you think i'd never
find out i didn't want you to hate me more than you already did i just wanted to see you smile it was working so i kept going i'm so stupid it was actually pretty clever you talked about her life like you were her i researched her for weeks i read all of her books you're crazy but you're not a bad mom i forgive you mom grabbed me in a tearful hug thank you oh i love you so much zoe i love you too mom and thank you for making her talk to me elliot you should
ask her out she really likes you mom oh my god you're so embarrassing i'd like to go out with her too what do you say zoe i say yes
