you suck at cooking yeah you totally suck today we're making not lasagna also known as horizontal spaghetti loaf not making lasagna starts with making not bologan a sauce to do this we'll chop up an onion by Smashing it against the wall our pan is on medium heat throw that in and make a sizzling sound with your mouth because the pan wasn't hot enough when you put it in and then we'll sauté that on some temperature until they start to Brown a bit next we'll crush and chop some garlic the reason we don't smash garlic against
the wall is to prevent the wall from smelling like garlic then we'll add that to the pan and cook that until it's not burnt then we'll put that legendary combo into a bowl to think about what it's done now we're going to add a pound of ground beef to the pan and just flatten that out into a beef cake also known as ground and pound if you don't want to add ground beef you can add air fire or water beef instead but regardless with a little bit of practice you can become the last beef Bender
I'm going to add a teaspoon of salt and some pepper pepper pepper and we'll get that all fired up and since we're not making lasagna we can add any flavors we want such as cumin chili powder smoked paprika red wine vinegar Rick's mystery blend that may or may not taste good Emily's Bland sauce breakup spice Debbie's potato salad flavoring or Alpha teers and we'll just wangjangle that together and cook it until it's cooked and since we're not making Bolan sauce we're going to add arabiata sauce to give this a bit of a kick in the
pants now it's important to cook this until just before boredom sets in so that it doesn't taste Bland and that's a good time to remember you forgot to add the onions and garlic back in so wangjangle that together for just a little bit longer now if you were making lasagna you might start whipping up a bashal sauce at this point so we're going to be careful to avoid that by adding some ricotta cheese to a bowl realize the bowl isn't big enough then transfer it to a bigger bowl some people think you add an egg
to ricotta so that it will keep the rotta layer intact when you cut it but the truth is we add the eggs so that you can legally eat not lasagna for breakfast my plan was to add some basil to the ricotta but I realized I forgot to get it so I'm not going to add it on a account of I don't have it so we got to do without it and since ricotta is the potato of cheeses meaning that it tastes like nothing we'll grate some garlic in there so it doesn't leave a nihilistic aftertaste
then we'll wangjangle that with a spoon wrapped in parchment paper so that our spoon doesn't end up smelling like garlic and now we'll Venture into the Arctic tundra to harvest some fresh noodle Loaf a lot of people don't realize that all of the modern pasta shapes were originally made with noodle loaf sometimes called the zukini before the pasta molecule was synthesized such as spaghetti keini penini zuuk canalon Kini dild delini or what we're making today lasagna keini noodles we're going to lay those out on some paper towels and let them dry off although you can
of course squeeze them to make a fresh glass of noodle milk and then we're going to grate a small mountain of mozzarella cheese also known as Mount Maz Everest and now we're ready to put this all together which we'll do by spraying fake Christmas snow into our baking dish then adding a wisp of a layer of sauce to the bottom of the dish from there we'll add our most authentic not lasagna noodles in a thin layer to which We'll add our first layer of basilis ricotta mixture which is a bit of a tricky situation as
we get over here toward the noodle Anarchy District now we'll get a nice layer of mozzarella cheese going on top of that we'll add a mean layer of knot bow and a sauce in a smooth and enticing horizontal wall and now we've learned a physics lesson with that first noodle layer which is why we're doing Advanced overlapping on the second layer which will make for a much smoother spreading of the ricotta little reverse ricotta tuck technique over here until we have a perfect East Coast powder day new ricotta technique just dropped called set it and
spread it more noodles more sauce more ricotta more cheese using the spatula to comply with no sauce left behind and continue until we've got nothing left but a full dish of something that isn't lasagna which by the way was invented in ancient grease now we don't want to eat this raw which is why the Uno is on for hundo and we're going to bake that until the cheese looks good see that that's the cheese looking good and now I'm going to take it out and let it cool for at least 20 minutes for a variety
of reasons including if you cut it now it will fall apart if you eat it now it will burn your mouth you need to learn patience you testy I cooked it so I'll decide when it gets eaten which is the power one yields when making not lasagna now I'm going to get that onto a plate and double that up for the clickbait thumbnail and now before I take a bite I'm just going to Fashion a parchment paper mouth guard so that my mouth doesn't end up smelling like garlic so good
