Welcome to the Talking Baby podcast. On today's episode, we'll be talking to the weirdl lookinging person who lives at my house. Thanks for being here, weirdl looking person.
Well, thanks for having me. As you know, you are my third favorite person in the world. Third behind the two larger people that we also live with.
They're both awesome. So cool. Uh you're fine, you know, and right now those two larger people are both busy and not paying attention to me at all.
So, um happy to chat with you. So, to kick things off, I want to ask you a question. And I apologize in advance if it's naive or ignorant.
Look, I'm a baby. I don't really know stuff yet. So, just keep that in mind.
So, my question is this. What are you? Like, you clearly seem to be a very different kind of person than I am.
Am I right? Like, cuz like people look different from each other, you know, like different sizes, skin tones, the hair, but you I I don't I have no idea what's going on. Um, does this make any sense to you?
Am I crazy? Oh, no, no, no. Dude, you're 100% right.
I've had that thought so many times. Look, I don't really know what I am. That's not really the kind of thing I think about or care about.
But I do know that I'm significantly different than you and the other people who live in this house. Like, for sure. Okay.
Okay. Well, so aside from how weird you look, what are other differences? Well, for one, I'm not allowed to poo or pee inside the house.
So, you guys can do it no problem. I mean, in your case, you just go in your pants wherever and whenever you want, which by the way, mad respect. You know, that's one of the things I like the most about you.
I'm actually pooing right now. Oh, I know. I can smell it.
But yeah, for some reason, I can't go in here. You know, when I first got here, I did it a few times, but the larger people that we live with were not into it. So, I got the message after a couple weeks.
Huh. I wonder why that is. By the way, still pooing.
It is flowing out of me. This is a good one. I'm aware you're also peeing.
I can smell that, too. I am. Wow, that's impressive.
Good nose. Um, I'm going to ask you a last question before I start crying cuz I don't love sitting in a pile of what feels like a hot brown cream of broccoli soup for too long. So, let me ask you this, and I don't know if you can answer this, but it's what I've been thinking about recently.
Why am I here? What do you mean? I mean, like, what even is this place?
Like, like where are we and why? You know, I don't remember being here until recently. So, like, where was I before that?
You know, like I'm just constantly looking around going, "What the f is any of this? " And everyone's just acting like it's normal. We live in this house and I you you live here and I live here, but like what?
Like, why am I here? Oh, sorry. I wasn't listening.
I actually have to go poo now. So, I'm going to go sit by the back door and wait there patiently for an hour or two until someone notices me and lets me out. Okay, cool.
Yeah, I'm going to start crying anyway cuz I desperately need to get out of this cauldron of watery butt porridge. Where?
