I'm not teaching good side of life so I had to figure out a way when I came on in 2016 of teaching you what life really is for the majority of us as hell and so while people love to show you the cars and the house and the vacations and [ __ ] all that's good all that's happy I'm going to show you the side that I know most you're going through and people hide very well I don't want to hide anymore I hid it for 24 years so that's why now I told you we
can talk about whatever you want because as human beings the one the first thing we have to learn I also stutter real bad growing up so if you hear me stutter every now and then is because that was part of my life also so it's funny human beings want to show you the best side and they want to hide the worst side for me I'm going to teach you how to be vulnerable cuz that's the only way you fix yourself you don't fix yourself by coming out here and me selling you some [ __ ]
books that's why I don't have them I forgot them I'm glad people got something from the book I want you to learn that the only way you grow is how to look at yourself and say okay like I did table longer than this what the [ __ ] I have to do to get somewhere there was nothing good on there nothing I love playing basketball I left that out that's something I love to do I don't care about that that that didn't make the [ __ ] list cuz the list that I had to live
by was it was the very list that was going to get me at this table with you to talk to you to the normal human beings which I once was about how you can get somewhere and how it looks looks very ugly there's no [ __ ] passion there's no [ __ ] [ __ ] motivation there's no oh my God man I [ __ ] this is no it's every day of your life just doing no passion no discipline no motivation all these words I hate people I hate that so many people [ __
] use these words now cuz it's watered it's someone sitting in the room by themselves and they figure themselves out and say God this is going to [ __ ] suck where's passion when you're 300 lb where's the motivation when you can't read and write so how did this happen I just [ __ ] did I just did I said maybe at the end of this journey there'll be something there for me if not I can read if not I'm Hur [ __ ] P there's there there there's no magic potion there's no oh let
me wake up and look at some [ __ ] no all those words are overused they're [ __ ] it's all [ __ ] just do you're living how do you want to live how do you want to die how do you want to [ __ ] be remembered that's that's it that's it period the word haunted mhm is ringing in my head yep I think it's such a powerful word yep cuz I was about to say seems like a huge part of your process maybe the entire process is it's all stick no carrot you
know you talk about the carrot the positive thing and then there's the stick the thing you're trying to avoid yep feel like it's the way it's Landing for me is it's all stick and gas pedal there's no carrot you're not imagining oh when I'm a paramedic when the book is published and obviously you set those goals and you make those targets but it's all stick no carrot think about that I'm waking up right now studying like I have a test tomorrow I already passed the [ __ ] test think about that every day of my
life that's what I must do just to retain what I learned 4 hours plus a day I go through and do that there's no stick or there's only a stick there's never been a carrot this is why when I speak to people I have to figure out a way to resonate with them cuz all I want to say to them is let me teach you the real life how it really is what's fascinating here yeah is that Goggins doesn't just tell you to embrace the struggle in some abstract way he lays out con tactics for
example he's big on what he calls the accountability mirror it's this brutally honest self assessment where you list your flaws your failures even the things you're ashamed of he argues that you can't truly overcome something until you confront it headon so it's like ripping off the Band-Aid exactly no more hiding from the stuff that you don't like about yourself he calls it taking inventory okay and it's not about beating yourself up right it's about radical self-acceptance okay you acknowledge The Good the Bad and the Ugly and then you ask yourself what am I going to
do about it now this might sound a bit intense right and some might even say it's bordering on negative selft talk yeah but goggin argues it's the opposite he does he says this brutal honesty is actually the foundation for real confidence yeah because when you stop pretending everything is perfect mhm you can actually start making progress he uses this analogy of a house with a crumbling Foundation you can keep painting the walls and making it look pretty but if you don't fix that Foundation the whole thing will eventually collapse and that's what he's trying to
do with this accountability mirror fix the foundation so you can build something truly solid so how does this tie into his all stick no carrot philosophy yeah is he saying that acknowledging your flaws is the stick it's definitely a part of it okay the all stick approach is about rejecting the idea that you need external Rewards or validation to motivate you gogin argues that relying on carots keeps you trapped in this cycle of needing someone or something else to push you forward so it's like saying you only work out because you want to impress some
one at the beach right or you only study hard because you want to get a good grade and goggin sees that as weak okay and unsustainable right he believes the true power comes from developing an internal drive m a sense of urgency that comes from within he even talks about how after achieving incredibly difficult goals yeah like passing Navy SEAL training he didn't celebrate he immediately set his sights on the next challenge it's almost like the achievement itself right wasn't the point it wasn't the point was the process of pushing himself the reason why you're
a loser and the reason why you're not [ __ ] making it and the reason why you're trying to go through all these I go to all these [ __ ] conventions speak all the [ __ ] time I look in the [ __ ] audience and these people sign up sign up sign up [ __ ] every year to go to Convention thinking they're going to learn something [ __ ] different no you're lazy you know exactly what to do exactly what to do cuz even me in my state of I can't read and
write I know exactly what to do it just sucks doing it it sucks to do it it sucks to wake up every morning of your life and say God man I'm I'm not smart so guess what I got to do I got to I got to study the same [ __ ] that I got one of the highest scores in the nation on do it again do it again do it again it's not just there it's not just there permanently for me so yeah it's all stick it's all stick the only car you have is
like maybe maybe cuz whenever I take these tests that are real hard in the back of my brain it's like the good chance you're not going to make it goggin this ain't you bro this ain't you you weren't born like this this ain't you the real you bro study all you want to but the second that [ __ ] computer comes on with 150 questions this ain't you man and somehow comes back I passed pass pass again passed again that realu me back here every [ __ ] time is saying that ain't you bro that
ain't you and I have to outwork that voice when I'm taking that test and I get to a question I don't [ __ ] know the answer I'm like [ __ ] man and then say I told you man that ain't you you 300 lb man you sit at home you figure out how to do your hair that's what you do how to come to school with the reverse baldness when you're 16 that's that that's that's you so there is no good out of jail free card this is why I say stay hard because when
you weren't giv the gifts the only thing you can do in life is stay hard and I know people cannot stand me they can't stand this talk this is all you can do there's no magic pill or a magic potion all you can do is outwork the man that God created or woman in you and what that looks like is unfun that's why I said do not do a documentary on me because people will not see the truth they will see what they want to see is I don't want to live like that good good
and you will live exactly the way you live now questioning who you are wondering what is possible wondering what you are capable of doing that's how that looks or you can be me which am I happy I don't know never really thought about it no really care about it cuz all I really cared about was I looked in that [ __ ] mirror I saw a piece of [ __ ] happiness wasn't on the mirror at 16 or around was 300 lb it wasn't like oh my I'm looking for happiness no I'm looking look at
myself in the mirror and say all right [ __ ] you did it again today you a bad boy cuz that [ __ ] sucks I have about a couple minutes of that when I got the carrot second lay down and go to bed the carrot is gone because I'm waking up all through the night to check the work I did that day did I get this drug right did I get this right did I get that right what did I do oh my God [ __ ] I'm already losing it it's a stick
