(Note: This is by auto-translation without verification) This episode is great! Venusian to Martian. .
. what conflicts might arise between couples after they step back? What kind of mental preparation do you need?
What is the best way to manage finances as a couple? Hello everyone, welcome to N+TV. I am not a bird.
I retired early two years ago at the age of 40. This class is about financial freedom, investment and financial management, and early retirement. The theme of this episode is: "Financial Management and Retirement Preparation for Couples".
This episode of Futiao will excerpt and share the experiences of three retiree couples, including normal retirement, early retirement and voluntary early retirement. It will also be interspersed with some of my comments and thoughts. Let’s get started now!
Share the first paragraph of Eddie, who served in the disciplined forces and retired normally at the age of 55. It is excerpted from the 2022 cable TV show "The Caregiver", about 28 seconds: No Bird Comment #1: Retirement of husband and wife = fighting between trapped beasts? Generally, there are three situations when couples retire: the husband retires but the wife does not retire, the wife retires but the husband does not retire, and the husband and wife retire at the same time.
If both husband and wife retire at the same time, they will have to face a major problem: the two people will go from seeing each other for 4-5 hours after work every day to seeing each other at home every day. The more time we spend together, the more opportunities for friction will naturally increase. .
. Hey, this audience member, I see you keep nodding. .
. ! Do you know what the two stories "Snow White" and "The Condor Couple" have in common?
It’s just over halfway through. What will be the final fate of Prince Charming and Yang Guo? The authors Green and Mr Jin Yong did not dare to write it down.
. . Simply imagine, Snow White ate an apple after lunch and fell asleep.
Prince Charming simply said: "Sleeping again? ! Can you do some housework?
" He accidentally fell asleep. The gun went off and they quarreled. .
. And Yang Guo had never worked in his life and had no money to buy a big house. After retirement, Brother Diao had to live in the toilet.
Although Yang Guo worked hard every day to practice with Brother Diao, Xiao Longnu still couldn't bear it. He couldn't help but say: "Guo'er, you no longer go to work to make money, but you still work in the toilet every day. Have you ever paid attention to my wife?
! " The result? Let's quarrel.
. . Without the buffer zone of returning to the company to work, the couple will become trapped animals at home every day.
. . If they are not prepared for retirement, the relationship between husband and wife may undergo drastic changes after retirement.
Therefore, you must plan and prepare mentally before retiring. Solution? I will share it later.
Futiao Comment #2: The silver-haired divorce wave remembers watching the Japanese drama "How to Use Three Thousand Yen" two years ago. There is a scene in which the protagonist's father has been indifferent to problems for decades and only responds to everything with "Yeah" and " "Oh", "Yeah", the protagonist's mother planned to announce the divorce on his father's retirement day. .
. It turned out that the mother had endured it for decades, and finally decided to walk out of her own life after her daughters grew up and calculated enough living expenses . In the end, fortunately, The father's change saved the marriage.
do you know? Hong Kong's divorce rate rose to nearly 60% in 2020. In addition, reports indicate that there are nearly 38 million adults living alone in the United States, the rate of one-person households has hit a record, and more than one-third of the population over the age of 50 is divorced.
Divorce lawyers said that elderly and divorced people have one thing in common: "They feel that the rest of their lives are too precious and they don't want to spend it with the wrong person. " Bu Niao has also heard of many actual cases in Hong Kong, some of which are in friends' families. occurring.
When the children have grown up and their parents have passed away, they no longer need to be constrained by the thoughts of their elders, and they no longer want to be angered by their spouses and get divorced. After enduring it for decades, it finally broke out overnight. Of course, part of it is due to money issues, which I will talk about later.
Please don’t misunderstand that I teach people about divorce. On the contrary, I hope everyone understands the reality and prepares and adjusts their relationship as early as possible. Let’s take a look at another video about a marital crisis after retirement.
It is Ma Jiewei, a professor at the Chinese University of Hong Kong who voluntarily retired early at the age of 56. It is excerpted from the 2022 cable TV show "The Caregiver", about 3 minutes and 49 seconds: Buniao Review #3: 10 Expert Tips to Help Retired Couples Get Along. Ma Jiewei's sharing is very direct.
Because of retirement, there are many quarrels and they have to take a serious look at the changes in the relationship between husband and wife. They no longer have the passion they had when they were dating, and the topics of conversation have diminished since their daughter grew up, leaving the relationship as a possible life partner. Bu Niao feels that they are a reflection of many couples.
This bad relationship may have been hidden for decades, and retirement is just the tipping point. I am not an expert on the relationship between husband and wife, so I found an expert article to help you. Dave Hughes, founder of Retire Fabulously, provides 10 tips to help couples facing retirement find ways to solve problems in getting along.
No bird understands that if a couple's problems could be solved by just saying a few words, no one would get divorced. . .
However, having a few tricks at your disposal is better than having nothing at all. In order to prevent the video from being too long and boring, I will only read out the titles of these 10 points. You can pause this video later and read the text slowly: 1.
Share your vision for retirement life 2. The couple discusses how much they spend every day How much time to spend together 3. Explore how your roles and identities will change 4.
Recoordinate how to allocate household chores 5. Develop a new budget and jointly monitor the financial situation 6. Pursue your own interests and maintain your own circle of friends 7.
In Establish an area at home where you can be alone . 8. Participate in social activities as a couple.
9. Plan a date night as a couple. 10.
Understand the adjustment and transition period after retirement. Buduo believes that if these 10 points can be implemented, it will actually be helpful to the relationship between retired couples. of.
For Ma Jiewei, on how to rebuild the relationship between husband and wife, points 1-3 and 7-9 may all be helpful. For ordinary people, points 1, 4-6 are particularly important to reduce quarrels, and point 5 regarding financial status is even more important. I will share this later.
Let me first share the third paragraph of Philip, a 62-year-old who works in the banking industry. Due to company policy, he was forced to retire early at the age of 54. This is an excerpt from the 2019 Now TV show "Xinglin Online: Retired, and then what?
" ", about 59 seconds: BuNiao Comment #4: Sense of self-blame for being retired early. Unlike the first two retirees, Philip was forced to retire early. It is not difficult to see from the film that he himself has a certain sense of self-blame.
To a certain extent, it may be related to the traditional Chinese concept that men are the head of the family and the financial backbone. It is normal for one to feel that he has lost his self-worth and identity when he is unemployed. "It is normal for tears to flow in my heart.
" In the previous episode, BuNiao shared 18 ways of thinking about solving difficulties in life. He hopes to help Philip and everyone escape from the psychological imbalance after unemployment or any difficulties in life. If you have not watched it, you must watch it!
BuNiao Comment #5: There are generally three methods of financial management for couples: i. The husband and wife's funds are merged and managed together, ii. Each financial person manages their own finances independently, iii.
Or they manage part of their own finances and put part into a shared fund pool. Is it better for husband and wife to spend their money together or separately? There is no final conclusion, everyone has his own advantages, and I have heard different methods.
Some of my friends keep the income of both spouses secret, or the income difference is large, and they would rather manage their finances separately. The most important principle to decide whether to merge and manage finances together is whether everyone’s values and financial management concepts are consistent. To give a simple example, if a husband and wife are both frugal, have similar ideas about investing and spending money, and their common goal is to buy a house, then it is good to manage finances together.
The two-headed carriage marches toward the same goal together and supervises each other to achieve the goal faster. On the contrary, for example, if the husband is more luxurious and the wife is more frugal, then conflicts will inevitably arise when spending money together. For example, if the husband takes a taxi to work and deducts money from the public fund pool, the wife feels that it is a waste and there will be quarrels.
Or if the husband buys something without a special price, the wife will be dissatisfied; or if the husband likes to invest in high-risk stocks, the wife is more conservative and likes to mainly collect interest, which will also lead to conflicts. In similar situations, it is better to manage finances separately, or put part of the money into a shared fund pool, and only use it for necessary living expenses, such as water, electricity, gas, rent, etc. , to reduce conflicts.
The lyrics of Yin Guang's song are as follows: "When we have sex, we often tear down the house because of two mosquitoes, but we are still in shock. " Here is a suggestion for you: "Some minor troubles between couples caused by money can be solved with money. Just give them money to settle it!
" Fighting over trivial matters is a waste of time. If you spend a little money to maintain the relationship between husband and wife, it will be worth spending in exchange for time and concentration. That is, if a few hundred dollars can resolve the dispute, there is no point in arguing for several days.
Everyone has been in a cold war for several days. Peace of mind cannot be bought by money. It’s even more unworthy of you to argue and argue until you can’t concentrate on your work or become depressed and sick.
A real example of serious differences in financial management that I have heard is a couple in their late 60s who are about to retire, have a son in his twenties, and have a self-occupied building that is almost full. The husband hoped to increase the mortgage on his own building so that his son could start a business, while the wife wanted the building to be used for retirement. The couple had different money concepts, and eventually they sold the property and got divorced.
There are countless such examples, especially when one party has financial management problems, such as gambling, excessive consumption, random investment, debt, etc. In the end, there are many cases of marital discord or even divorce due to poor financial management. Others are based on actual needs, such as children's expenses, tax filing, buying a property, applying for public housing, applying for Old Age Living Allowance, etc.
Since benefits are based on family units, you need to work together to apply. For example, in order to apply for public housing in some families, one spouse will sacrifice his or her job and have no personal income, and become financially dependent on the other spouse. Although this kind of joint financial management may be beneficial to everyone as a whole, it may also be detrimental to one spouse.
bring harm. For example, when filing taxes, should we file taxes together? If we are financially independent and file taxes separately, who should file the child tax exemption?
For example, when buying a property, is it better to buy a property in one name or in joint names? The advantages of buying a property in joint names are: i. It is easier to pass the stress test, ii.
The interests of both husband and wife are protected, iii. If one party dies under the longevity contract, the other party will automatically inherit the title without complicated procedures; but the disadvantages are: i. It is not conducive to the individual's future borrowing power, ii.
Property transfer costs and possible tax benefits of "first-time home ownership" in the future (such as the situation ten years earlier). This is something to consider when planning to manage finances together. BuNiao does not own any property, but prefers to hold it in a single name.
In addition, retirement financial management, such as whether to buy an annuity, take out a reverse mortgage, or sell a house and live elsewhere, it is best for both parties to communicate clearly before retirement. No, what is your situation? BuNiao review #6: BuNiao couple’s personal sharing on financial management and retirement.
Since the heroine’s investments are extremely conservative, BuNiao and the heroine are financially independent and manage their own finances separately. I am responsible for paying for the heroine’s daily expenses, including housing and food. , water, electricity and gas bills, daily necessities, entertainment and travel expenses, etc.
As for personal washing expenses such as car fares, buying clothes, haircuts and beauty treatments, she handles them by herself. The heroine uses all her income herself, and I will give her some pocket money every month, which remains unchanged until now. Everyone manages their own finances and spends money without interfering with each other, including filing their own taxes.
In my impression, we rarely quarreled over money. I think that’s one of the great things about managing your finances separately. As for retirement, Bu Niao will retire first, while the heroine is still working in the workplace.
Before I retire, I also communicate with the heroine about the financial arrangements after retirement: If the heroine also retires early, I believe that my passive income will still be enough to support the basic life of two people, plus some simple entertainment, such as once a month Travel to Southeast Asia, such as a one-day trip to Japan, Taiwan or Thailand. But if the heroine wants to realize some dreams after retirement, such as opening a small shop, or studying abroad, it will cost a lot of money, and I won’t be able to support her, so now she continues to work and save money. Fortunately, Unlike me, she still doesn't hate her job too much.
I think there are pros and cons to retiring asynchronously. The advantage is that we don’t have to see each other day and night, which will not increase friction. We can concentrate on doing what we want to do on weekdays, and only arrange activities together on Saturdays and Sundays.
The disadvantage is that even if I have free time, I can't just go wherever I want. To avoid family changes, I can't let the heroine travel or live alone for a long time . Most of the trips can only be done when she has a vacation.
I hope everyone understands that a retired person’s time also has a cost, which does not mean that he has to complete all low-cost tasks, such as housework. Doing "things without active income" does not mean "doing nothing every day" or "having no value". Even if the retired spouse is resting, doing hobbies, doing exercises to keep healthy, etc.
without income, it does not mean that it is lower than working. The value of one's work. For example, in the early days of Futiao's retirement, the heroine saw that things at home were a bit messy after work, so she thought that I had been doing nothing all day and did not clean up the housework.
. . But she had been busy at work all day, and she looked at me relaxing after work.
She will also be somewhat unbalanced mentally. For this alone, it took the heroine and me a while to get used to it and return to a balanced state. BuNiao Review #7: Couples retiring out of sync - Financial Management For couples who manage finances together, out-of-sync retirement may be a drag on the spouse.
I saw an Economic Daily article at the beginning of the month with the title: "Will enjoyment in retirement drag down your wife? " Nearly 90% of couples cannot retire at the same time. Experts: Consumption levels fluctuate greatly.
" Nearly 90% of couples cannot retire at the same time, and their financial status has fluctuated greatly. Kerry's husband retired from his full-time job in April, and she was worried about expenses: He was planning future travel, and there were some major house repairs. The excerpt and quotation are completed.
In short, if one spouse retires early and feels that time is waiting for no one, he spends money immediately. This may cause a financial and psychological imbalance to the other spouse and affect their relationship or long-term retirement planning. If you retire early and don’t have any money, you will feel psychologically unbalanced.
Therefore, retirement may cause the couple's financial management to change from synchronized to out of sync. This is also the disadvantage of joint financial management as a couple. There is often a certain gap between the age of the couple and the retirement age.
In this case, the only way for the couple to communicate about retirement arrangements as soon as possible is to reduce conflicts, including how to create passive income, how to save expenses, when to use money, etc. "Financial management for couples" is a difficult topic to answer, because every family has its own sutras that are difficult to memorize. What suits you may not suit me, and what suits me may not suit him.
To sum it up in two simple sentences: Whether it is husband and wife management, retirement financial management or retirement planning, "early preparation" and "two-way communication" are the most important. Thank you for watching to the end, I hope you learned something! I hope you can share it with your friends so that it can help more people!
If you are interested, you can watch all the videos starting from the first episode, they are all exciting! Shancho Renweng, who supports Futori's creation, can give me a "super thank you"! That’s it for today’s episode, please like, leave a comment and subscribe to my channel!
See you next time!
