the other day I was farming potatoes by hand when a man visited my Island and asked why didn't you already win the potato War but no the potato Wars never ended to understand how things ended up like this we've got to go back to November when I dethroned squid kid and became the number one potato farmer in Sky Block I went to his Island and laughed at him for half an hour then my Co-op members showed up and we all started laughing at him it was not a good day for squid kid he updated it
and then I left squid warned me that he wasn't given up on rank number one but I didn't care so I uploaded the Great Potato War but in the days after that I did nothing I'd spent so long working to become number one now that I had done it I I didn't feel anything at all I I had no idea what to do with myself I mean the video did all right but not nearly enough to justify the time I had spent on it and after I uploaded it so many people started using potato minions
said the price of potatoes dropped 30% in the auction house my plans to become rich had failed both ingame and in real life but at least I had my potato rank but when I visited squid kids island 3 days later what I found shocked me he had 23 minion slots now when I made the Great Potato War some people criticized me for violating Sun Zoo's most basic tenant whatever you do don't reveal all your techniques in a YouTube video you fool you but my belief that the potato War was was already over hadn't been baseless
between my three extra minion slots most of Squid's minions not being max level and the price of catalyst Skyrocket in due to e in the same materials as a new Quest squid kid would need almost a 100 million coins to catch up and I knew for a fact he was broke I decided to do some investigative journalism I'd seen a new sign on Squid's Island advertised in his new Guild so I did what any normal person would do and bought another alt account and then I infiltrated The Guild but what I found confirmed my worst
fears PE people were helping squid kid I'd Cyber Bullied squid too hard people had seen the video felt bad and gone to his Island to hand him the spare items he needed to make more slots or in some cases just pay a millions of coins all with the express purpose of defeating technoblade once in for all now I can't complain about other people getting free stuff but watching tens of millions get given to my arch nemesis by my own viewers it was a br moment in a week he had a farm even stronger than my
own my worst fears had been realized squid was catching up if I wanted to remain number one I had to act fast once more I consulted the wisdom of ancient times let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night and when you move fall like a thunderbolt I couldn't let squid learn of my plan so I boarded up the potato Dome I hired goons and swore them to secrecy I knew squid would be monitoring my actions so I started an SMP series to throw him off the trail and like that I began my plan I
knew there was only one way to defeat squid once and for all by building a farm so powerful it reached the theoretical potato limit and to do that I would have to do something no solo player had ever done before unlock the 24th minion slot it wasn't going to be easy fortunately I'd already reached 100 million coins by selling potatoes before prices had fallen I paid my goons to start Gathering the resources we needed whether that was by purchasing directly from NPCs or scouring the auction house 24/7 in the meantime I headed to the spider
Den where I fought tier four tarantula bosses until I reached Spider Slayer 5 unlocking the tarantula minion which gave several new minion crafts progress was steady but we soon encountered an obstacle Enchanted mud and it was such a useless item that even if you had the money to pay for it nobody was selling it on the auction house I had to go on a Manhunt to find someone who was actually using sheep minions so I could trade for it directly this guy says he has some Enchanted button for me wait you're not pulling a fugal
are you you wanted some uh Enchanted sugar cane so that's the approximate equivalent in value pleasure doing business with you Fugal I I partially forgive you for your past crimes all right it took 3 days and over 80 million coins but we finally got all the materials we need to craft just look at this it's beautiful it's so organized these are these are enough to make 50 unique crafts and then we'll have 24 minion slots so we're just we're just going to speed up the craft in here we did it boys the 24th minion was
up and my farm was now producing 1, 167,000 potatoes per day I now had the maximum number of minions but if I wanted to make the greatest possible potato farm there was still one upgrade I needed to get an upgrade even dumber than all the past upgrades combined unfortunately the website I used to stock squid kids auction bids revealed that he was already working on it I had no other choice I once said that the most useless item in the game is a minion expander but that was before I learned about the fly catcher the
fly catcher is an upgrade which increased minion speed by 10% 5% more than the minion expanders I was currently using oh but technoblade that sounds great wrong you would not believe how difficult it is to make a fly catcher first you need a fly swatter which drops from less than 1% of highle tarantula bosses and then you need over 10 million coins worth of tarantula silk to give you guys a quick visual of how many materials we're going to need we're going to need some of this uh little bit of this too some of this
some of that some of these and a little bit of that and if we combine all of that together we can make one fly catcher I need 24 of these it was a daunting task but I knew we had to start immediately I'd been stalking squid kids Twitter so I knew he was a college student and it was late November exam season squid kid would be at his weakest we had to get as many Fly Catch as we could before winter break I once more gathered my goons and ordered them to acquire the needed materials
my main problem was money I still had a few tens of millions of coins left over but if I wanted 24 fly catchers that wasn't even close to enough fortunately the potato Dome was making over 3 million coins per day not including the cost of buying Catalyst which was not an issue for me remember when I flexed on all of you with my chest full of cataly yeah I'm going to be real with you guys I was holding back one of the things I did to raise money was grind candy during spooky festivals which is
how I unlocked the skeleton horse pet which was a huge Flex back in November and now nobody cares at all but the important thing about the skeleton horse pet is that there's actually a bug that most people don't know about the skeleton horse can trample crops on other people's islands just kidding I'd never do something like that because I'm a good person it turns out it's really easy to glitch through doors so the people visited my island formed an orderly queue to wait their turn to break into the Dome this community is the worst getting
tarantula silic was taking weeks but getting the fly swatters was actually quite easy sure it's an incredibly rare boss drop but the thing is it's only useful for making fly catchers an item which literally only two people on the server were going for which is how my ALT account ended up in a bidden war with Squid kid a why why did he he send me a party invite now he's in the Guild chat p the te and I've been kicked the people breaking into the Dome have now started a potato cult I I don't know
how to feel about this it ended up taking 5 weeks of constant grinding but on Christmas Eve we finally had 24 fly catchers this was largely thanks to this man who used his expert business skills to Outsource the work to dozens of Sky Block tryhards ultimately contributing 3,000 stacks of tarantula webs for which I paid over a 100 million coins we'd finally done it we' created the strongest possible potato Farm producing 1,1 129,000 potatoes per day unfortunately Squid's Army wasn't slacking off either and 2 weeks later he too had the strongest theoretical potato farm now
the only way for him to catch up would be to farm potatoes by hand and he had already started I spent 10 hours constructing a gigantic potato farm covering over 21,000 blocks for the next part of my plan I went to pigle yeah this is mine now you just rob it and sell it I'll just be taking this a this is good I've been pretty broke recently if you're wondering why I borrowed one of the strongest weapons in the game it's because the reaper Scythe has an ability that's crucial for farming potatoes now that I
had it I could finally my farm is finally complete and it only takes 85 minutes to replant I made an AFK machine on my Island so planted potatoes would keep growing even when I wasn't online for a few days in January there was a bug affecting a lot of farming minions potato minions were only making 33% the potatoes they were supposed to like any normal person I immediately asked myself how can I use this information to destroy my enemies hey squid notice anything about your minions lately yeah I farmed potatoes for so long that I
began to question my sanity I knew it was bad when one time after finishing planted potatoes I took a nap and when I woke up I had no idea how long I'd been asleep but when I checked my farm I instantly knew ah these potatoes have been growing for 3 and 1/2 hours shut up I don't have a problem overall squid ended up farming over 1 million potatoes by hand in that same time I farmed over 5 million I had to replant this entire field 19 times every day I monitored Squid's live streams on Twitch
to the point where I amassed 9,000 Channel points I made sure to farm potatoes whenever he was live to demoralize him is he really planting potatoes too and we're going to go check this dude has a mental illness as time went on you could begin to hear the Hope draining from his voice I just can't believe how much he's farming we need Minecraft Mondays to come back at this point I was pretty confident in winning the potato War but the problem is I had no idea how large my lead was I can see my own
potato count and what rank I am but squid has disabled the API setting that allows other people to see exactly how many potatoes he's at little does he know I have spent the last four months meticulously updating a spreadsheet of our potato counts which I did by crawling through his farm and time in each of his minions with the stopwatch every day to calculate his exact potato output based on the math I should be about 22 million potatoes ahead which would take over 200 hours of farming by hand to catch up at that point I
thought the potato war was truly over but everything changed with the pet update the first change is that fly catchers got buff to plus 20% instantly increase in my potato Farms yield to 1, 231,000 potatoes per day of course the main part of the pet update was the pets themselves I immediately started looking for a pet that would help me win the war unfortunately none of the pets seemed geared towards potato farming the best option I could find was the rabbit pet which gave a small boost to your farming experience a higher farming level gives
you a small chance to get extra potatoes when you farm them by hand so I figured the rabbit pet would probably help me Farm potatoes may maybe 1% faster it could be epic at worst but we want legendary please it turned out rabbit pets had a secret third ability that only legendary variants had which increased the speed of farming minions by up to 30% and Squid had no idea it existed I had to level up my rabbit as fast as possible and since pet experience is based on skill experience I decided to grind Alchemy you
see Alchemy Alchemy is the rich man skill all right if you have the money to burn on expensive ingredients You Can level up insanely quickly and this was almost 2 months after I'd finished spending all my money on fly catchers I had money to burn I spent so many hours brewing potions that I ended up ranked four globally in alchemy you want to know what level my rabbit is today 96 it's not even Max this experience requirement is ridiculous and in this time squid was fishing to level up his epic squid pet it wasn't until
4 days after the update that he learned about the legendary rabbit and got one of his own but it was too late his pet sucks it's level like 65 or something thanks to the rabbit pet my minions now produce 1 million 586 th000 potatoes per day it's difficult to calculate exactly what my potato Elite is right now because the rabbit pet only works when you're online but the pet update has definitely pushed it to at least 25 million since the War Began I have farmed 158 million potatoes which in Hot Potato books is over 6,000
I ain't losing this spot one last thing I'd like to mention while I was stalking squid on my alt the entire Lobby was just piling on him in the chat they were just hating on him you see after the first potato war video Squid got 40,000 subscribers in the YouTube Rank and ever since then he's been getting hate because oh my got he just got YouTube ranked because of technoblade it's all luck he sucks I just like to take a moment to defend squid kid and say it's not all luck I mean luck was obviously
a big factor nobody's denying that but the thing is most opportunities are created by luck it takes skill to grasp those opportunities and turn it into success the original potato war video would have been so much less funny if Squid wasn't number one and it was just some random boring guy now I talked to squid afterwards Seas an adult he doesn't care at all but I care all right so if you see squid in a Lobby say something nice to him compliment me his hair or something because he's been dealing with cringe hate for too
long man we got to help him that being said if Squid kid thinks he can take my potato rank he'd better go farm for a million years it ain't happening dude you think I've been insane in this video wrong there's actually so many techniques and strategies that I can't even put in this video because he hasn't discovered them yet I'm keeping them in reserve you have no idea this man's been playing checkers while I've been farming potatoes he's through [Music]
