The Three Steps To Lasting Change - Get The Edge by Anthony Robbins

[Music] welcome back to day four of personal power hey I want to congratulate you on your commitment and keeping it to follow-through each and every day and build one success on the day before it's this kind of simple daily input it creates the chains of positive success programming instead of the old conditioning that may have controlled some of your success or failure in the past so let's get started obviously you've already done your exercise I don't even have to bring that up anymore do I well good today what we're gonna study is what is and

how to use neuro societal conditioning step by step now this science of neuro societal conditioning or neck as I call it the metaphor I use is giving you the knack of taking control of your life I developed the science out of frustration quite honestly you see for many years I've been considered to be one of the top experts in the science of neuro linguistic programming and that was a science that I originally studied with its co-founder I didn't develop it but I really mastered what he taught and I was incredibly impressed by the work it

allowed me to make changes in people with lightning like speed changes that for years they've been trying to make in their own life but had been unable to do in fact I became rather famous in a short period of time by getting on national television and basically challenging other therapists saying bring me your worst patient give me somebody to have difficulty with or give me somebody out of your audience right now that's got a lifetime problem maybe a phobia for example and I'll eliminate that problem right here on television over the next 30 minutes and

it wasn't a magic bullet it didn't work in every case but fortunately it worked every time I was on TV and that really helps but the bottom line is I got frustrated where it didn't work you know I began to wonder okay why isn't it working in this situation because I was looking for the cure-all if you will and I also noticed something else that bothered me about NLP and that was that a large number of the people that were involved in it became almost well it became almost like a religion where it was like

that was the only answer and I wasn't for that because I could look around and see that every kind of therapy works I don't care what it is you want to change in your life you always want to change one or two you are they want to change how you feel about things or you want to change your behavior you say no Tony no that's not what I want I want to change my money situation well the only way you're gonna change your money situation is by changing the way you feel and the way you

behave does that make sense so I've noticed that I don't care what the problem is whether someone was raped they've had a tremendous fear trauma growing up it was a situation where they were physically harmed something they were emotionally harmed it was a bad set of habits I don't care what it is you want to change in your life you got a poor relationship with your mother or father every form of therapy works some of the time so rather than making all the therapies wrong I find out what really did they all have in common

made them successful when they were successful and once I discovered that common element how could we make that happen more rapidly and with less pain those are my criteria for success so let's take a problem let's say for example you had a problem with your father and you felt like you're overwhelmed by them like it controlled you and you can't express yourself because you are always in a subservient position and now you live that way in your daily life and you see it doesn't work because it doesn't lie to express your feelings you don't go

for it 100% you feel shut down how would you deal with that well there are zillion ways using various types of therapies let's take a look we've already said that what we do is based on what we associate to think so again if you associate expressing your opinions gonna equal pain you're not gonna do it so what does the therapist job get you to associate that expressing yourself could mean pleasure and not pain but not expressing yourself would mean pain what are the various ways of going about that well one would be to use Gestalt

therapy and Gestalt therapy what would you do well they would take you in therapy would understand a lot of the frustration and challenges in your life come from your beliefs about your relationship with your father and what you can and can't do so what would this good Gestalt therapist do highly likely they'd pull out a chair and I'd say see this chair this is your dad you've got to change how you feel about him and realize you're in power when they'll tell you this I want to scream and yell in how you really feel let

him know that you're in charge know it let him have it so you go hold dad um I do feel like he gave me enough space to communicate no no no express how you really feel without there yeah sure enough finally you may get emotional if you're going dad I'm in charge I'm a big person on it and you know what as silly as it sounds it works if you really think that that chair for a moment if you knew he had you associated that's your dad and you feel strong there's your dad you feel

strong and there's your dad and you feel strong for the first time your life when you think your dad you may feel strong you'll express yourself clearly so what does work as silly as it may sound now obviously this is a generalization about Gestalt but it gives you a good picture now let's try another form of therapy let's say yeah I got the same problem but you go to rational emotive therapy there are competent therapist is going to teach you that your frustration is not having anything new with your boss or your dad or your

brother or your sister but specifically it's not your dad it's caused by your own irrational beliefs about your dad now you have the pain of feeling stupid for believing all this crazy stuff and it's also making you suffer a little bit and so your brain finally says I don't want that pain and he says look if you just change your beliefs you can feel better and through this conversation if you trust the therapist and if they're confident enough pretty soon you may change what you associate to your relationship with your dad sure enough your behavior

changes again but notice what has changed when it works because it doesn't always work the neuro Association has changed that's when the therapy works when you now have a new meaning for what being with your dad means we have a new meaning for a relationship let's try another approach let's say you tribe or Jerian counseling there the therapist listens and reflects back what you say about yourself with your father with unconditional positive regard with you and without any judgment for you he or she will tell you that you have the resources within yourself to solve

the problem and what they'll do is create a place for you to feel very very appreciated and loved hold you in a very strong and respected light and as you feel better about yourself and you talk about this your kind of reputation to live up to and as a result pretty soon you may begin to change or associations in your mind about who you are and what that relationship really is as a result mo all of a sudden the change you wanted has happen you feel freed now you can go out and communicate and be

who you are again simple approach let's say you got the same problem you want to go for Freudian therapy or as we call it non-directive therapy there what happens is you line a couch and talk to yourself for about four or five years I'm only slightly exaggerating here and what happens though is that you say things you ask questions and all they do is reflect them back to you get you to think about them and by reevaluating your life and so many different details and you're feeling different now than you did then eventually hopefully you

make nooner associations although there's no guarantee in this therapy because the therapist is not to direct you that's what non-directive therapy means the only challenge I have is how long it takes so all therapies work and we've already identified what happens at the moment they actually work in other words when somebody has a breakthrough what is that breakthrough the breakthrough is at that moment the meaning of what's happened in their life has changed they've changed what they associate to that person or that situation for example if somebody had been raped they were going to continue

to have trauma until they change the meaning in other words the reason they feel upset and the anger and the hurt and the pain they have every right to but the reason is what that means to them that means they were violated it means their life's out of control it means let's say that they're dirty whatever it is that they've associated in their head is making them feel pain now people who change that have changed the meaning there comes a point where that rate now means that they're stronger than they've ever been in their life

and they can now help other people or that rate now means that it'll never happen again because they know how to handle themselves or that rate means it's a chance for them to expand I don't know what it is it's different for every person but if the meaning doesn't change the person's life doesn't change there's a gentleman by the name of Viktor Frankl who wrote a book that you should read it's called man's search for meaning fabulous book Viktor Frankl was a psychiatrist of Jewish heritage who during World War two had the unbelievably unfortunate experience

of being locked up in a Nazi concentration camp where death seemed certain now the interesting thing that happened there is while most people just gave up and died he's somehow through a series of experiences began to trigger and associate to being in that camp the possibility of power and pleasure what do I mean by that well what he noticed was that maybe one out of 25 people were going to live but he wanted to know what made that one out of 25 makeup well everybody else around them died and as he began to study and

pay attention and talk to these people he found the differences what they associated to their experience in the camp for most people being in the camp meant instant death they gave up right away or they began to think about and focus on continuously why is God done this to me why am I going through all this pain the people who survived developed a reason to do so that is they developed a meaning for their suffering in other words instead of just suffering for no reason which means ultimate pain they said I am suffering so that

I can come back and tell the story to my children and make sure this never ever happens again on earth and for them the ability to come back and tell that story the ability to touch the future was enough pleasure that it enabled them to create a meaning out of their present pain in other words if they could just hang in here through this pain the ultimate pleasure in the long term would be worth much more than the pain they were going through they had a reason to live they had a meaning and by changing

the meaning of their suffering to something that would eventually make a difference they were able to make it through and they had a will to live that was so strong they pulled themselves through the toughest times I'm here to tell you that what we've talked about in the last two tapes is nothing but changing meaning changing the meaning of dieting to pleasure instead of pain changing the meaning of developing your own business to ultimate freedom instead of massive risk and potential loss changing what stopping smoking means for most people stopping smoking means oh my gosh

I may gain weight oh my gosh I'm giving something up and as long as you're giving something up it means pain changing instead to freeing yourself changing your associations or the meaning of what a relationship means from it's a leash around my neck that takes away from my freedom - it's one of most empowering fun powerful transforming experiences I could pray for in my life that process of transforming meaning changing what we associate is what all therapies do when they work so you don't have to go to therapy you can learn to do it on

yourself just by changing what you link up inside your own head having seen that the real difference what changes people is when they change meaning what I began to do was analyze well how come some people did that in one session and some took seven years well part of it was the approach obviously the type of therapy that was used but also part of it was where was that person in their level of commitment to making it I mean it was some people I'm you could change him in a heartbeat didn't take any effort at

all other people boy you really had a push and some people never seem to want to change at all they kept coming they'd want to pay somebody they want to go talk to the therapist but they don't really want to change so I began to look at what was it that got somebody the point of really making the change in this session so that I could develop a way to create results in people literally in one session instead of 500 when I taught NLP neuro-linguistic programming people would come see me and they want me to

change them and I would I'd go in there and change their associations and it really worked but I also noticed that in some cases not most but some after a couple years the change would go back let's say somebody was smoking and I got them to link to smoking massive pain and a not smoking pleasure well once that happened sure enough their behavior changed the brain needed to avoid pain so it avoided cigarettes and it wanted pleasure so it moved towards the new behavior that we installed but the whole idea of programming basically set me

up and that is I got people actually thinking that I was doing something to them that they couldn't change back which is not true two or three years later they've needed some new way of changing the way they felt they went back to cigarettes for whatever reason and they could go see this stuff doesn't work and I said what do you mean it doesn't work it worked for three years they go yeah but didn't work forever what I developed was a new metaphor and the metaphor is that of conditioning and here's the difference recently have

somebody come to my house to tune my piano now I don't play the piano but I've got this great piano that sounds logical doesn't it somebody in my family is gonna start playing it looks good though heywhat back the bottom line is my kids are finally learning to play so we had this guy come in and tune our piano that's great grand piano and so the guy comes in and he adjusts the piano and the way he turns it is he changes the amount of tension that's going on these wires there's literally tons of tension

on them and and he's doing this I thought okay well that's it he said no no I got to come back next week and I said what do you mean I thought you just tuned it he said yeah he said but see it's been stretched in this way for so long that what I got to do is I got to retune it I got to keep stretching this new pattern and I got a condition those wires so they stayed this way that's what can't you just do it once and lasts it goes out because it's

been pulling in that other way for so long now that you just gotta and sure enough even while he was there before he left we tested it and some of them had already gone back to the old way so he adjusted him again and now he has to come back out another week and then he's gonna come back out again I guess in two weeks then he comes back out in a month and he comes out every three months then he comes out eventually every six months even to keep it the way it is he's

got a condition at at least twice a year and that's my metaphor for life as well I didn't become quote-unquote successful in my life because one day I reprogrammed myself and everything was perfect most of the success that I experienced the abundance I experienced mentally emotionally physically spiritually financially is because every single day I conditioned myself to be at my best to feel at my best to give my best and that's what neuro associative conditioning is about that's why I don't talk about just programming per se as much as I talk about conditioning hey you

would not run out if you wanted to be physically full of energy and vibrant you wouldn't run out and workout one time say do aerobics one time as a boy I'm glad that's done now I'll be healthy for life you know that's not how it works what you got to be able to do is condition yourself day after day and pretty soon you love the conditioning you begin to get addicted to it's just part of your lifestyle you wouldn't get up and not brush your teeth you wouldn't get up and not shower or do your

hair so you shouldn't get up and not condition yourself for success each day so start thinking about this as a lifestyle not a tape program that you listen to a long time ago but something you're conscious of daily so how do we condition ourselves to really have our changes last let me share with you what I think the three fundamental key distinctions are that caused people to change when they do change and the change lasts these are the three fundamentals of the science of neuro associative conditioning systems and here's number one in order to get

a change where it's going to absolutely happen and it's gonna last you must first get leverage on yourself what do I mean by leverage I mean you must get to the point where you believe that something must change that you must change it and that you can change it right now you got to get to the point where you feel like not changing would be painful massively painful and to change would mean pleasure in other words you got to use all the things we talked about up until now you've got to get that connection if

you're only at the point of believing that you should change or you could change or you ought to change or you might change that is not enough to create long-lasting change in most cases so you got to get yourself to the point we've got leverage and lots of ways to get it some people will change out of rapport you know they go to a therapist they really like the therapist the therapist wants them to change though they do I mean it literally can be that simple sometimes some people change because God if they don't they're

gonna lose everything some people in spite of all kinds of pain still don't change because in their head they think I don't have to or they think I'm doing this because somebody else wants me to or they think in their head well gosh you know changing would be too fearful too painful so in order to make a change last you got to get to that point where it must change you must change it and you can change it that is number one I'll give you an example when people come to me sometimes for private consulting

and I've trained all kinds of other people to do this work now so I don't do private consulting but invariably I still have a few people that want to do it with me personally for whatever reason or no one else did seem to get in the results so I'll take the challenge on personally well first of all I make it very difficult for these people to ever get to the point of working with me in the first place I make em have to go through a waiting list so hopefully they'll decide to change on their

own I make them have to pay a fairly large chunk of money to be able to do this as well but even after all of that when they finally come and they've flown out to meet me and we're sitting down face to face I then will turn to them and say look I don't know if this is the right thing for you and they'll say what I'll say look before you invest any more time or any more capital and before I invest my time I gotta know that you're really absolutely committed to changing because I

got to tell you something I only work with people they're gonna change right now not after 15 sessions I do one stop therapy and that's what we've got to do otherwise you'll screw up my entire record usually they'll laugh at that but I'll say I'm serious I won't work with you unless I'm convinced you must change not you should not you might but you must I then have them go on and they got to convince me they're taken back a little bit but for the next 15 minutes they gotta try and convince me how they

absolutely must change your life because if they don't it'll cost them this in their relationship and will cost them this in their health it'll cost them this in their self-esteem it's already cost him all these areas and they're tired of it they can't take it anymore you remember the movie don't you I'm mad as heck I'm not gonna take it anymore you gotta get to that point that's called leverage that's when change happens and you know what when they're to that point my job is easy I simply go to step two what's step two I

simply interrupt their present limiting associations they're limiting pattern of association so for example somebody's got a phobia and what happens right now when they see an elevator or even think of one they have a patterned way of responding they have an immediate association and that Association is elevator equals ultimate pain and immediately their body freaks out so what do I do well I first got into leverage so that I know they're gonna change and I know they're committed to it and then I do whatever it takes to change that Association to interrupt that pattern so

the minute they start thinking about let's say this elevator and they start to freak out all of a sudden I reach over and I say stand up and they go huh I say stand up and right at that moment interrupts their pattern that's okay sit down place it back down again I said well tell me about this elevator thing they go huh and sure enough they start to go into thing again and all of a sudden I asked him a question let me ask you a question right in the middle of I'm thinking about the

elevator would you eat a bowl of live crickets for $40,000 instantly what happens their brain goes what and again I've interrupted the pattern I'll do all kinds of things the key to interrupting somebody's pattern is you want to do something they don't expect something that will jolt them it's kind of like have you ever been so caught up in a conversation you were like totally immersed in it and then somebody came by stood right next to you ask you a question it had nothing to do with what you're talking about in order to answer them

you went over here in answer him and you came back and you couldn't remember what you're talking about have you ever had that happen even when you were like real committed to talking about this particular thing what it did is that person interrupted your pattern and it was hard for you to get back to it I mean think of it this way if you interrupt somebody's pattern enough eventually they can't ever get back to it think of your mind as being like a jukebox and in that jukebox you have a zillion little records and these

records at any moment in time you can play any one of them and depending upon which one you play will determine how you feel so if you played a sad song record you're gonna feel lousy if you play a positive record you're gonna feel really great the challenges for a lot of us in life something happens and it like pushes our buttons and instantly we start playing one of these records one that makes us feel sad or feels frustrated or feels angry and what we've got to learn to do though is interrupt those patterns to

change those records what would happen if I took a record out of your brain a memory if you would or a pattern and I took that record and I just started scribbling across it I took a knife went across it back and forth back and forth back and forth back and forth you'll never be able to play that record the same way again that's called interrupting somebody's pattern and giving another simple example I was doing a seminar one time and this woman came up to me we had just done a session it's pretty powerful on

relationships and she came up to me and she said mr. robb and she said I've got this problem with my husband and I we really and she began to cry like crazy now I really care about people very deeply so initially and the early days am I really working with people I would immediately say hey please relax it's okay please don't worry whatever it is we'll work it out you know what the problem with that is that's what everybody does so rarely does that interrupt somebody's pattern in other words they expect you to say it's

okay and it doesn't usually change the pattern they go well yeah I guess you're right then they go and run the pattern again does that sound familiar so what I now learn to do is joke people to literally interrupt their pattern so they can't get back into it to change their inner Association radically and I do it in some pretty outrageous ways so she comes up and says mister and she starts to cry I was drinking glass of water so I took the glass lunch and I dumped this water on her she jumped about four

feet she said what are you crazy what are you doing I don't know nothing I just smiled I said tell me about you and your husband she said what and now she's laughing while she thinks about her husband and herself ah whole new pattern did you what are you talking about said well tell me about you and your husband I smile and I drink a little more water she goes you're a little crazy I said well that's true but go ahead and tell me so she thinks for a few moments and she goes well my

husband and I and all since she's fine about well we've been having some problems and I said no you were crying before remember you were crying and I tried to get her back there and she said oh yeah she started crying I took my watch and me over again I mean this time her makeup just kind of dripping right there people standing around now by the way you shouldn't try this unless you got some strong rapport skills as well or anything got a strong connection but she knew I cared he'd know I seemed a little

crazy and she started laughing Jules what are you doing this crazy she dripping the stuff of her face I said nothing just tell me about you and your husband no we're fine come on tell me I gotta tell me one more time a little bit more water after that any time she thought about her husband crack up because we're absolutely fine that's called leverage and interrupting somebody's battered water was the leverage and the pattern interrupt happened over and over again till pretty soon she couldn't play it again when she thought about her husband or she

started to laugh and out of laughter she was able to come up with some better solutions on her own she wasn't stuck in the pattern does that make sense we've got to interrupt our pattern to create new results and that's exactly what this is about the third key to creating a long-term change then is once you got leverage what must change once you've interrupted your present pattern then the third key is you've got to condition yourself to have a new Association a new empowering Association so what I got this woman to do for example whether

got it linked laughter to a relationship by having laughter all of a sudden again she's able to deal with the situation or with somebody with a phobia I get them to think of times in their life when they felt incredibly strong and powerful and I get them to associate feeling strong and powerful - that's a taking the elevator ride and I do it over and over again and condition them until pretty soon when they think of the elevator ride they feel powerful what happens they feel differently they behave differently the problem is handled and this

can be done with virtually anything as long as you get enough leverage let me give you another simple example of this I was doing a seminar one time and I was telling the audience basically what I've shared with you but the bottom line in life is that if you're not doing something it's could you associate more pain to doing it than not doing it now I had a woman who raised her hand and said look there's an exception to that she says for example my husband and I we'd like to get together and spend more

time but we just don't I said well why don't you she goes well we just can't I said you mean you aren't committed - and she said no no well I guess you're right we aren't a hundred I said if you were hundred percent committed could you find a way to spend time together she said well of course I said then why don't you she goes well I guess because we're not committed I said why not boy that opened up something she said well I don't know I just you know I I'm I love my

husband but I can't commit a hundred percent to him I said really well let me ask you a question if you don't commit to him there's only one reason you think committing is gonna mean more pain than not committing is that fair she thought for a moment she goes well I guess that's true I said how come where did you get that thing linked up in your head and what turned out to be was that when she was growing up she gave a hundred percent in her mind to her family she gave a hundred percent

in her mind to her parents she loved them a hundred percent and she felt like here she was giving giving giving and was totally committed to loving them but she didn't feel like they gave back she felt unloved she felt like they didn't reciprocate and so as a result she felt these tremendous feelings of loss and that meant a lot of pain for her so somewhere along the way her brain linked up if you commit and love somebody a hundred percent and what's gonna happen is it's gonna mean pain to you she wasn't even aware

of this consciously but now all of a sudden it was affecting her relationship with her husband where they had drifted apart they weren't spending time together part of it was just not feeling a hundred percent committed not being willing to give a hundred percent of herself emotionally and physically and spiritually in being with her husband so how do you help her to change her neuro Association what step one do you remember get leverage so I had to help her get to the point where she believed that she must change this pattern so I said well

let me ask you a question I didn't tell her she must change it by the way I got her to tell me I said if you don't change this pattern if you still don't commit to your husband how will it affect your relationship over the next three four or five years while she thought for a moment or two and she said well I think it would mean divorce I said how come she said well if I'm not committed to him if I don't love him 100 percent he's got to feel that if he doesn't feel

loved at a hundred percent then he probably won't give me a hundred percent then I won't feel loved and then I'll make me mad and that'll just generate all kinds of problems I said isn't that what's already happening and she said yeah it is and so what I got her to do is begin to associate what pain to her present behavior to her present pattern so that she'd absolutely feel like it must change now and we went more and more and more until she began to tell me she didn't do this how what a lousy

role model would be for children and how even if she divorced him no man would ever feel totally loved by her or whatever commit to her if she wasn't willing to commit til pretty soon there was so much pain associated not changing she felt like she had to and I said if you were to change what would happen is she said well gosh you know there's a good chance that if I did change that he in fact would you know give all his love to me too and our relationship would get better and our home

life will be better and she went on and on and on with all the pleasure I'd accomplished step one without a doubt so now I had leverage with her she knew she must change but she still had that pattern that fear that said yeah if I don't change it's gonna mean pain but what if I commit and I give him a hundred percent but he doesn't love me back what if I commit and I still look at the love what if I commit and I still get pain and I said well let me help you

out on this let me ask you a question have you ever driven a car she said what and it just instantly interrupted her pattern here she was caught up in her fear that God if she commits it with me in pain I want to change that pattern I want to interrupt it and I want to create a new empowering pattern of Association so I said have you ever driven a car she said well yeah I said well you've driven a car down a two-lane highway that lines to the mountains were all that was separating you

from the cars coming from the other direction was a little yellow line she said yeah I said well I got a question for you is it possible that even though you were committed to driving on your side of the line that the people on the other side were not as committed is that possible she said well yeah I said do you have any guarantee to just by your being committed to stay on your side of the line that they're gonna stay on theirs too she said well no I said in fact is it possible that

you could experience a lot of pain driving a car like that the cars that are coming the other way fifty-five miles an hour my accidentally even without meaning to hurt you come on your side and crash and kill you instantly is that possible jeez well of course I said then I got a question for you how could you possibly drive on a road like that how could you possibly drive through the mountains knowing our cars of people you don't even know who are coming down the highway at the opposite side when you don't even know

they're committed and then I smiled she just said she didn't know her husband was committed to her I said how do you do that how do you drive down a road and commit to your side not knowing what they're gonna do she said well you just got a trust I said oh I said what happens if you don't trust she said well then you can't get from here to there then you're trapped I said oh and what she began to do is create a new Association that she was trapping herself I said you mean you

can't have what you want if you don't just trust and commit she said yeah I hear you right here yeah that's true so what did I do I interrupted her old pattern and I simultaneously helped her to create a new one I said let me ask a question what's the best way to receive love she said well the give love I said well when you're being totally loving do you usually receive love even without trying she said oh yeah and I got her to associate that committing and giving love meant receiving tons of love at

the end of this point I said let me ask you a question what if your husband doesn't commit to you what if you give him a hundred percent and he doesn't get back she said well look some man will appreciate it and if I'm always giving I'm gonna have a man in my life who appreciates it there's no doubt about it and I said so what are you committed to doing Jesus I'm committed to go give him a thousand percent give him everything I got him myself and that scares him I'll give him even more

that scares him on giving me more and he disappears and runs off oh that's his loss but I'm gonna really go for it a hundred percent and she did simply by changing her associations go through the three steps get leverage get where you must change to interrupt the pattern three create a new Association that empowers you now I could have gotten the same result using Gestalt therapy rational emotive therapy virtually any form of therapy but I'll tell you what the key is the key is the distinctions about leverage and interrupting people's patterns that's the key

to making the change I mean I'll give you an example recently I heard on late-night on the news there was an advertisement for a television program and on this morning television program they said they're gonna have an expert who does five-minute phobia cures well that's pretty much how I became famous I got on television and basically eliminated people's phobias right there on camera so I figured hey maybe it's one of my students or maybe it's one of the psychiatrists or psychologists I've trained the next morning I tuned in on the show and it wasn't one

of my own students this guy had a totally different technique for eliminating phobias here's what it was first of all he brought this man on he was a psychologist and he brought him on and they said look okay he's gonna eliminate this man's fobian the man came up and he said this man has a phobia to snakes sir how do you feel about snakes a man said not very good well major phobia when I do with people the phobia I look for somebody's out of control you don't something to scream in that stomach they didn't

exactly pick a real challenging subject but okay here we go so then he's gonna test it so I figured you know what I've done on a regular basis is go out I grab a real snake and just scare the heck out of somebody and see that it really works and then I tested afterwards to see if it works by handing them the snake and having wrap it around their body like I did it with a giant boa constrictor in a couple of television shows that when I first saw the boa constrictor out of work on

minor associations but anyway the bottom line is this guy brings out a plastic snake and he brings a snake and he pushes in front of the angles looks and goes oh alright well let's see what he's gonna do so sure enough this is on national television sure enough the guy reaches out and he goes what I'm gonna do with this man is a technique called temporal tapping what he does is he has the man stand there and he says okay sir I want you to think about snakes he takes his fingers and he starts smacking

this guy on the side of his head on his temples you think about snakes why am i man think about snakes why am i will think about snakes why am i Wham well after doing this about five or six times guy goes do you feel any different than mangos yeah my head hurt he said but if you feel even about snakes he goes well I don't think so you guys all right think about snakes I'm a wimp think about snakes I don't win and what is this man doing if it works he's interrupting this man's

pattern of association in his nervous system are you following me in other words this man used to think of snakes and get this unbelievable painful fear feeling in his gut now instead he's got this pain in his head now that may not sound like much but it is a change and it will take him out of fear well the guy did it over and over again it didn't work all of a sudden this psychologist breaks out into this massive sweat on national television he's having a pain called failure on national TV and also my heart

goes out to my but nobody wants to be in this situation right they say all right we're gonna cut to a commercial and then we'll come back meanwhile he's still going think about the snakes why I'm on my own think about snakes or when they come back from the commercial we don't see the man with a snake phobia and there's no mention of what happened instead there's a new woman here and she has a phobia to ladders and so he says okay now think about ladders why am i man think about ladders I'm a man

think about ladders when I went and he keeps doing this over and over again he says do you feel any different she goes well yeah goes now and you could see she did feel different she didn't look scared clean about ladders lamb I'm I am after three or four minutes or five minutes of this maybe a little bit more they finally bring out this ladder and they ask her to climb up it well she walks over she goes yeah I think I can do it I feel different she takes a step on the first step

then the second step then about the third step she kind of gets a little scared which kind of stays on the third step and then she comes on down well the audience claps like crazy and the host of the show comes over and says hey that was really great well you must really be proud of yourself she goes yeah I'm not only proud I'm excited because you know what my husband said that if this therapist guy could help me and I could get up at least three stairs that he'd give me a shopping spree and

he would paint the whole house interesting she walked in with leverage it was a must for her cuz for her being able do this man she could have lots of pleasure and get out of some pain pretty hot deal so no wonder step one was handled saw this man to do a step two and step three fell into place and the problem is when you go to a therapist and it doesn't happen it's because they don't have leverage on you or they haven't interrupted your pattern or you haven't created a new pattern so just go

through those steps for yourself and you probably don't need it there because 99.9 percent of the time and I think most therapists would agree with me on this what's interesting about this story though is is the host turned back to this guy and they had like three minutes left in the show and he said well one out of two sure isn't bad and that's pretty good deal but why don't you go here and work with John some more cuz we didn't get the result with him let's see if you can pull it off and he

goes no no he says I think John's problem is that he's sick and you know it's he's probably got a virus so that when I'm doing this it's affecting his way his body's processing this and John says I don't got a virus and he says well you know you may not know it but he probably has one John says no no the host says well come on over why don't you go ahead and work on him anyway I think I goes alright he gets up there and oh man think about snakes I don't think about

snakes why don't know thing works right finally at the end right the guy's sweating like crazy he said you know I think I could have in private I think he's just uncomfortable because all these people are watching him and the guy goes I'm not uncomfortable I thought this board therapist he's getting beat up here right he's gonna have a phobia to going on TV shows after this where the bottom line is finally right the shows about to end and this gentleman of the phobia says you know I think the only reason I'm not changing is

I don't really want to what better example that leverage was missing so those are the three keys to neuro associative conditioning use them well and you can make any change you want your life because you understand the key elements that will make the change happen now not six months from now or a year from now and I want you to know I know there's a lot to absorb here so you might want to listen to it again and each of these three steps we'll be using over and over again over the 30-day period here so

you'll get used to them and you'll get a lot more examples for example on how to interrupt people's patterns how to interrupt your own patterns fear patterns if you will sabotage patterns in fact we have some specific tapes during these 30 days that are only on how to interrupt those patterns and make the changes so take heart for right now though let's start to use this at least let's begin to get some leverage on ourselves interrupt our patterns and create some new associations let's start with an assignment please pull out your journal right now and

let's start out by taking those four things you wanted to change four things that you should be doing but you weren't following through on now let's make sure that you really make these things happen how let's get some major leverage on ourselves right now I want you to write down ten reasons for each one of these four ten reasons why you absolutely must make this happen now and make sure that the must include what little cost you if you don't and all the great stuff you'll get by doing them and we kind of started this

process but let's really hone it in so you feel major leverage this is something that must change you must change it and you can change it and we'll write now write down why you know you absolutely can change this in other words make sure that that first step of leverage is absolutely handled second assignment I want you to make sure that you interrupt your own pattern and the way you're going to do that is I want you to write four or five ways then you can interrupt your negative patterns so for example if you overeat

I want you to make one of your assignments to go to a gathering and not eat anything go to lunch with someone have a social meeting have a conversation and experience the pleasure of being at a meal without having to eat to get the pleasure or let's say you're in the middle of an argument and right in the middle of the argument you have a patting her up now you design for yourself which says you're gonna grab your nose and make a silly noise like something totally absurd then when you're in the middle of it

the way you're gonna get yourself out you're gonna be dripping the whoop and you've got a way to interrupts that pattern massively it'll also interrupt the pattern of the people around you in the middle of your arguing like that will definitely change their state they'll be wondering what's wrong with you but they also begin to laugh and you'll get caught out of the pattern you won't get stuck for example you've been so caught up in a pattern of arguing for example you forgot what you're arguing for but you knew you had to win well this

is the way to get out of it interrupt the pattern do something asterick will do something weird do something funny but specifically right now make a list of four or five pattern ups you could do you might want to create some of these for your relationships the more you can do that interrupts your own patterns the more power you have over yourself here's the third assignment on this exercise create a new Association to the change you want in other words whatever change you want to make happen make sure you link tons of pleasure and one

way to do that is just think about all the things you're gonna gain in your life and feel the gains all the things are gonna be more pleasure all things will be better while you're making these change and do it over and over again by repetition so whenever you think of it you think of all the great things you're gonna get as a result that new Association will stay and things will change so the assignment is first get leverage on yourself write down ten reasons why you absolutely must change this behavior or action also write

all the reasons why you know absolutely that you can do it number two design four or five ways to interrupt your patterns four or five ways to get yourself out of a limiting Association and then thirdly over and over again condition yourself think about things over and over again feel them and think about them until you have a new Association that gets you to follow through and it's effortless where you want to do it consistently will you feel compelled and driven have some fun with this I know it's new so is riding a bicycle at

one time and you may have fallen off in the beginning but you didn't go over a failure you just got up and did it again so if this feels a little awkward at first that's okay just go for it as we do it over and over again you're gonna get good at it we have to think about it you can just produce the result go to work or to play if you will I'll see you in the next tape tomorrow live with passion [Music] you [Music]