I was standing on the balcony in my room screaming my lungs out while my cousin Catherine stood next to me hello hello save me from this wretched Queen and her snooty bodyguards I will give 10 000 gold coins to anyone who saves me no one can hear you Merida and even if they did they won't go against the Queen's orders when I'm Queen I will demolish this stupid castle and build a big house with glass windows and everyone can visit me and I'll have lots of friends and pets and pastries no not pastries they give
me a sugar rush okay so only friends and pets then you wish just then I heard the queen screaming my name and I ran in the other direction to save my soul hi I'm Merida a real life Princess from some place in the world please like And subscribe my mom the queen was really strict but she wasn't always like this she used to be a fun-loving mom who loved spending time with me but when I turned five dad went out hunting he fell from his horse hurt his back and was permanently bedridden mom had to
take up all his responsibilities and since then she turned into the Wicked Witch of the West to make matters worse when I was seven I was with my mom inaugurating a children's park when this homeless guy picked me up and started running the guards caught him and saved me almost immediately but Mom became extra paranoid and never allowed me to leave the palace I wasn't allowed to go to school or play outside like normal kids growing up the only friends I had were the palace workers or my Royal tutors who were really boring my life
sucked and I hatched a new plan every week to escape the palace like this one time when I was 13 I tied a bunch of bed sheets and hung it down from my window I was about to climb down when I saw how high it was and I chickened out and another time I climbed into the back of a van carrying pigs for the Royal Poultry Farm you pick guy driver I'll behead everyone not pigs obviously they're cute but I will behead you I promise the guy shot me a look and started driving but 30
seconds later the Royal Guards caught on to me mom found out and went ballistic what were you thinking Merida that driver could have harmed you and taken you away forever and that would have been a dream come true even staying with pigs is better than staying engaged in a castle for one more day I'm bored annoyed and I hate it here it's for your own safety now quit complaining and go to your room but I wasn't gonna give up so easily so the next day while Mom was away on Palace duties I tried sneaking out
the kitchen back door but my foot got caught on something I tripped and crashed into a servant carrying a bunch of plates and she landed on her butt are you okay I looked up to see a girl my age staring in my face she helped me get up and just then mom came running what have you done that was really expensive China wow Mom you could have asked me if I was fine but no expensive China is more important you know what I mean and I see you've met Catherine and that's how Catherine came into
my life her dad was my dad's younger brother and I'd met her when we were kids but then she moved to France and now mom had invited her back to the Palace Catherine and I quickly became friends and spoke about everything under the sun I told her about my boring life and how I was stuck in the castle while Catherine told me all about her travels which sometimes made me jealous you know Paris is really pretty I love sitting on top of the Eiffel Tower and staring at the city it's magical and did you know
that street churros don't taste the same as the ones we eat here of course you wouldn't because I can't leave the castle I know you don't have to rub it in my face sorry I didn't mean to but why don't you just sneak out you think I haven't tried my mom has the nose of a dog she can smell me out but you didn't really have help before really you'll help me of course what are sisters for Catherine kept her promise and the next day when Mom left for her daily Royal duties she led me
through the back gate of the castle the guards were scattered everywhere so Catherine and I had to be careful we were hiding behind a huge wall trying not to get spotted when a huge trash truck stopped right in front of us and Catherine signaled for me to climb in this is your brilliant idea to sneak me out a trash truck I'm sorry if it's not up to your expectations but it's literally the only way out that will escape the guard's attention whatever fine after the longest bumpiest and smelliest ride of my life the truck finally
stopped without warning Kathy yanked me out like a bag of potatoes and we fell into some bushes nearby welcome to the real life Princess let's go I look like a homeless person dipped in a pile of poop I'm not going anywhere looking like this but it's the perfect disguise who would think a princess is walking around smelling like a pig hey watch it don't forget that when I'm Queen oh yeah yeah you'll be head half the population can we go now we only have a few hours before the queen comes back it took years before
I was finally out of that miserable Palace so I didn't want to waste any time Catherine took me to a photo booth to capture my first day out and we ended up clicking a dozen pictures I was still in the photo booth when she went outside to get something to eat in this really cute boy walked in I tried to run away before the boy saw my face but I tripped over my own foot and went flying into his arms whoa in Vader did the most beautiful girl in the world fall into my arms he
smiled in my heart raced but just as he came closer I started sneezing like crazy are you okay I'm so so sorry I must be a lunch allergic to something just give me just then the curtain flew open and Kathy angrily pulled me out the hot dogs in her hand went flying and one of them hit the pretty boy in the eye ow wait will I ever see you again no no get out of our way as Kathy dragged me away I waved goodbye to the boy feeling like I just lost the love of my
life we went through a secret tunnel through a church that opened at the back side of the castle and I was stunned to know that something like this even existed we quickly slept inside the castle before someone noticed wow that was so cool how did you know about this my dad might have mentioned it then why did you drag me through the trash truck seriously that's your concern if that boy hurt you the queen would have killed me for sneaking you out it was a mistake and I'm not doing it again but now I didn't
need Catherine's help I already knew about the secret tunnel so the next day I sneaked out through the passage and went straight into town I went back to that photo booth where I saw the same boy sitting outside kicking the air you you came I was hoping I'd run into you again I couldn't stop thinking about you neither could I I'm Romeo I'm Mary Juliet right I want to get out of here Mur Juliet it was lame but I wasn't gonna tell him my name yet I need to trust him completely and for all I
know his name wasn't Romeo either over the next few days I sneaked out every day just to meet Romeo and I was smitten he was cute fun really kind and even volunteered at a local children's hospital at times one day he took me to the hospital with him and I could see how everyone's eyes just lit up seeing Romeo hi Romeo is this your new girlfriend she's very pretty are you guys gonna get married well her name is Juliet so chances are high I blushed as Romeo winked at me and my insides exploded with excitement
later that evening he asked me out and we shared our first kiss which was magical I knew I was falling for him so a few days later while I walked back home I decided to tell Mom everything about Romeo but just as I crossed the secret passage I saw a bunch of guards waiting for me on the other side the head bodyguard Markle immediately grabbed me and carried me as I kicked and screamed hey put me down right this minute or I'll have your head served to me on a platter sorry princess but the queen
will skin me alive if I don't deliver you to her I prefer to be beheaded at this point oh you stupid Buckeye giant Moon calf I'll make your life miserable when I'm Queen can't wait Michael finally sat me down and a second later mom walked in looking pissed she threw a bunch of photographs on the table along with a news article I stared in shock with all my pictures all over the Tabloid with the most hideous headline the princess who smells like rotten eggs and kissing a commoner is a disgrace and not fit to rule
hey that's not fair I do not smell like rotten eggs you think this is a joke Merida I've spent a Lifetime Building my reputation and I will not let you destroy it in seconds and how dare you leave without my permission mom come on it was only one outing okay two okay sorry 20. but look at the bright side nothing happened to me no one kidnapped me which means it's safe to travel outside but Mom didn't care and left angrily the next few days were miserable the security around me was tighter than ever and this
time no one was allowed to enter my room not even Catherine things got worse when a week before my 18th birthday Mom announced my engagement to the prince of some country can't say the name sorry and along with that the date of my coronation I felt lost and Furious late one night I was sulking in my room when someone knocked on my door I opened it and saw Romeo standing outside I pulled him in immediately before someone saw him what are you doing here if my mom sees you you're a dead meat I will leave
Merida but before that you need to know something Catherine isn't who you think she is what do you mean before Romeo could say more the door burst open and mom came in with Catherine and some guards who immediately grabbed Romeo mom no let him go I can't believe you would stoop so low Merida wasn't it enough that you embarrassed me in the newspapers that now you are planning on escaping with this peasant mom Romeo is a very nice guy and I wasn't going anywhere with him you can ask Catherine she's met him before tell them
I have no idea what you're talking about Merida I've never seen this guy before in my life why are you lying I'm not I was in my room when I heard noises coming from your chamber I heard him telling you that he's here to take you away and as a loyal servant of the Royal Court it was my duty to inform the queen you backstabbing witch I will enough I'm so disappointed in you Merida now until the members of the Royal Court decide what to do with you you will not leave your room for the
next couple of days I was locked in my room with two guards at the door the whole time I had no idea what happened to Romeo but I prayed he was okay about a week later I was summoned by the Royal Court members who had apparently made a decision about me after a week of deliberation the Royal Court has concluded that Princess Merida has gone against act 54 of the royal Constitution that states the queen in line shall not interact with commenters or have personal relations with them before her coronation seriously there's a Constitution like
that the princess has not taken her to be seriously therefore she will be replaced by the next person in line to the throne wait Catherine seriously unbelievable Merida be respectful before the members of the Court no if all of you think that I'm the problem and Catherine is the next best thing then I have no respect and what's wrong with interacting with the very people no sorry commoners we're supposed to rule I was about to storm off when suddenly Romeo ran in through the doors with several guards following behind him Catherine's eyes widened in shock
as he marched straight to Mom how did you get out I've lived on the street we pick up a trick or two when it comes to escaping but first everyone needs to know the truth my name is Romeo Buffet I met the princess through lady Catherine who paid me to lure her out of the palace expose her face to the media and ruin her name you did what Romeo went on to tell everyone how his little sister was a patient at the Children's Hospital where he volunteered she was sick and needed surgery I needed money
for the surgery so when lady Catherine approached me to work for her I couldn't say no he's lying he has no proof you can see my phone I have the messages your majesties I did a terrible thing trying to ruin the princesses reputation and I couldn't live with myself if I didn't confess the truth Kathy why suddenly Catherine turned to me with angry bloodshot eyes because this Crown belongs to me it should have gone to my dad after his brother fell sick but you Queen you snatched it away my father lived in Misery all his
life when he was the rightful King so that's why you came back for the crown of course you thought I came here to be friends with your sorry bud please I hired this Butthead so I could somehow ruin your reputation in front of the cord and your mom would banish you from the throne on her own that would have succeeded if this jerk wouldn't have barged in I'm gonna kill you when I'm the queen which will be never I've heard enough get this girl out of here and if I ever see your face near the
palace again Catherine you'll never see the light of day again the room was quiet as Kathy was dragged out of the hall kicking and screaming and that was the last time I saw her the queen then got up grabbed the scroll from the Royal speaker and tore it to Pieces what are you doing your majesty that's the only copy of the Constitution there is I'm the queen and I make or break the Constitution I'm sorry Merida I thought I was doing the right thing by keeping you safe but sometimes parents can be I wasn't the
best daughter either Mom I made life tough for you when all you wanted was to keep me safe I promise I'll be better mom and I hugged it out and finally made up overcome with emotion I ran to Romeo and hugged him too I'm still mad at you for deceiving me but I get why you did what you did also I missed you a lot I think we could start again nothing would make me happier Romeo and I started dating officially his sister's surgery was a success and was fully paid for by the palace two
years later I was officially 21 Romeo and I tied the knot and I was ordained as the next Queen don't worry I haven't beheaded anyone yet [Music]
