My girlfriend screamed, "My dad's coming. I need you to be gay for 5 minutes. " So, I put on my best lipstick.
Carla and I were making out on her bed after school when we heard the garage door opening. She jumped up so fast she knocked me off the bed. "My dad's coming.
I need you to be gay for 5 minutes," she said in complete panic. "What? Why?
" I asked from the floor. She grabbed her makeup bag and threw a tube of lipstick at me. "Just put this on.
I'll explain after. " I'd never put on lipstick before, and my hands were shaking. Carla helped me apply it just as we heard footsteps on the stairs.
I barely had time to stand up before her dad burst through the door. He was this huge guy with military tattoos and muscles that looked like they could crush my skull. His face went red when he saw me.
"You brought a boy into your room? " he roared. Carla whispered something in his ear that I couldn't hear.
His expression changed from angry to confused. "Gay? " He turned to look at me with the lipstick smeared on my mouth.
"So, [music] you're a sissy? " Something about the way he said it made me defensive. Takes one to no one.
His face turned purple. What did you say to me, princess? [music] I may be gay, but that doesn't make me any less of a man.
I stuck out my hand, trying to look confident. I think we should shake hands like two respectful gentlemen. He stared at my hand for a long moment.
Then, suddenly, he started laughing. Not a happy laugh, but the kind that made you nervous. Wow, you must got some balls.
I tried to keep up the act. Can't get enough of them. He stopped laughing and his eyes got narrow.
"Do you think I'm stupid? You're going to prove that you're gay? " My stomach dropped.
"What do you mean? You're 18, right? " He stepped closer to me.
"Kiss me. " I looked at Carla and she was shaking her head frantically. Her dad noticed and [music] grabbed my chin to make me look at him.
I keep myself in shape. I maintain my looks. I know I'm not ugly, so if you're gay, you must find me attractive to some degree.
[music] His grip got tight. Unless you want to admit that you're lying and you came here to screw around with my daughter. In that case, you won't walk out of here alive.
" The room [music] was dead silent. Carla looked terrified. Her dad's face was inches from mine, and I could smell his cologne mixed with cigarettes.
He was serious about the threat. I could see it in his eyes. I thought about running, but he was blocking the door.
I thought about admitting the truth, but the way his fist was clenched told me that was a bad idea. Carla was mouththing, "Don't do it. " But what choice did I have?
[music] I grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Not a peck, but a real kiss, because I figured if I halfassed it, he'd know I was [music] faking. His lips were rough and tasted like coffee.
I tried not to think about what I was doing. That's when Carla's mom walked in carrying a tray. "I made jello salad for everyone," she [music] announced cheerfully.
"Then she saw us, her husband kissing a teenage boy with lipstick on. The tray crashed to the floor and Jello- went everywhere. "Again, Robert," she screamed.
"Now you bring this rainbow crap into my home. " Robert pulled away from me looking shocked. His wife was shaking with rage.
Linda, I can explain. He started. Don't you dare.
I caught you with that man from your gym 5 years ago. You promised me you were done with this. Carla grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the door while her parents started screaming at each other.
Her mom was throwing things and her dad was trying to dodge them. You made me go to conversion therapy. Robert yelled back.
You made me pretend to be something I'm not. You have a family. You have responsibilities.
[music] We ran downstairs and out to my car. Carla was crying and I still had lipstick smeared all over my face. We sat in my car for a while listening to the yelling from inside the house.
I'm so sorry, Carla said. My mom is super homophobic. When she caught my dad with a guy, she threatened to take everything in the divorce unless he stopped.
That night, Robert had to move out. He came to my car before leaving with his suitcases. Carla was inside trying to comfort her mom.
Before I could tell Robert sorry, he told me, "I know you're not really gay. I've kissed better [music] lips than that.
