Robert Cialdini is one of the world’s leading experts in the field of the psychology of influence. His fascinating book "Influence" came out 35 years ago, but is still on the bookshelves of the most influential and successful people in the world. And while Influence deals with "persuasion", the art and science of getting someone to say "YES", Cialdini’s new book deals with PRE-suasion - the process of arranging for recipients to be receptive to a message BEFORE they encounter it.
It is essentially the psychological frame you deliver your message in. And that frame matters. A lot.
Cialdini spent years studying the top sales people, marketers, negotiators and public speakers and what he noticed was that the top performers spent more time in crafting what they do and say before making a request than on the request itself. PRE-suasion offers a set of very practical ways of making people more receptive to your message, request or proposal before you even deliver it to them. Just consider this example from the book - a consulting friend of the author was having issue with prospects asking for discounts and challenging his fees when he was making his pitch.
One day, the consultant plugged in the joke "as you can tell, I’m not going to be able to charge you a million dollars for this" before saying his price. After this casual joke, no one challenged his $75 000 consulting fee. So, he made it a permanent part of his sales presentation and was never challenged again.
What he stumbled upon, by chance, was the powerful concept of "price anchoring". By mentioning a million dollars, even as a joke, it made his $75 000 fee seems insignificant in comparison. By pre-suading his prospects, he virtually eliminated a big objection.
How can YOU make use if these powerful tactics? 1) Attention When you pay attention to something it will automatically become more important to you, or it will at least seem that way. Mainstream media take advantage of that on a daily basis.
Experts believe that the media does not actually change people’s mind directly. But, what they can do is change what story or issue gets the most attention. They control what is being talked about.
And when something or someone gets covered a lot, people assume it's important The lesson here is attention = importance. If you want to persuade anyone of anything you need to be able to capture, hold and direct their attention. Cialdini offers 4 tactics that can transform you in a master of attention 1) How To Change The Direction Of Someone’s Attention In the most trivial argument you might have at work or at home, you are trying to convince someone by giving them reasons.
But, that is typically the hardest way to change someone’s mind. . .
as we have all experienced. A much easier and powerful tactic is to change what that person is paying attention to. As attention is limited and you can typically pay attention to one thing at a time, when something new emerges, you almost immediately let go of the old.
You can see this tactic in use by a lot of politicians. When they are asked about the negative effect of a construction project for example, they almost never argue against, but change the narrative by talking about the new jobs created or the economic effect it will have on the neighborhood. By shifting the attention they can also shift the way people view the given project.
2) How To Ask The "Right" Questions Use targeted questions is a powerful of direction the attention to where you need it to be. In one Canadian study people were asked one of two questions - are you "happy" with your social life or are you "UNhappy" with your social life? Although the questions might seem identical to most, the results with nothing short of surprising.
The people who were asked if they are UNhappy were 375% more likely to say they were. How the question was phrased made one part of the people think about their happiness and the other about their unhappiness, hence the big difference in the results. REMEMBER: questions are an extremely power way of guiding someone's attention 3) How To GRAB Attention Before you can direct someone's attention, you first need to be able to grab it.
How do you do that? Using the time tested proven attention grabbers: SEX - the main reason you see models on magazine covers and in advertisements. Attractive people make you look and while you are looking, you also notice the headlines, the products and everything else.
DANGER - similar tactic to sex, but with the opposite message. Dangers and threats are attention magnets that the healthy industry is making very powerful use of. NOVELTY - In order for something to be noticed, it must stand out, be different, be new.
If you are to receive junk mail in a bright pink envelope, you'll most likely open it (at least the first time). In the sea of while letters, it will stand out demanding your attention Once you have grabbed that valuable attention, how can you hold it? By using the most interesting person in the world to every person - themselves.
Making the conversation about the other person by using "YOU" instead of "people" or "they" will make them pay attention. Or, talking about their qualities and characteristics. This is why you hear a lot of commercials use language such as "in your 40s and overweight" or "are you a male in your 50s who is struggling to find X".
Make the topic the other person and they will pay attention to it almost indefinitely. By now you have become a master of attention, what is the next step in pre-suasion? Cialdini calls is "unity".
The feeling of being part of something bigger than yourself. It can be shared group, a shared identity or even a shared world view. When a sports team wins or loses, their fans don't say "the team lost" or "they lost", they typically say WE lost.
Similarly, religious people tend to refer to their churches as "our church". And, of course, the biggest unity of all - a family. There is nothing more united than a family and that is why so many advertisements are smartly using language associated with family.
The lesson here is to use language and actions to make people feel they are part of something bigger AND that you are one of them. Invoke unity and you can influence them more powerfully. The final part of pre-suasion is "connections".
If you manage to engineer new or different mention connections, you can influence people much easier. Almost all big companies use this powerful tactic as part of their branding. That is why when you think of Mercedes Benz, you think of luxury and when you think of Wal-Mart, you think of convenience and low prices.
These associations have been carefully crafted by creating connections in your mind. This is typically done by showing you an scenery of some sort, or a good-looking model or a well-known celebrity and then linking the product or company just by showing it. Just look at the next add you see and you'll notice nothing more than a background and a product picture that often have nothing to do with each other but create a powerful and subtle connection in your mind.
Connections are also formed by being specific with the language and words you use. Presenting something as an investment will have one connection vs presenting the cost of the same exact thing. And finally, using connections to create trust in yourself.
Cialdini shadowed a very successful home alarm salesman. In the middle of his home presentation he would slap his forehead and say that he has forgotten something important in the car. Then he would ask the million dollar question: "I don't want to interrupt your presentation, do you mind if I let myself out and back into your home?
" It is extremely subtle, but when you break it down, it is very powerful. Who do you let walk in and out of your house on their own? Only someone you trust of course, a close friend or a family member.
By evoking that mental connection, the salesman was becoming a lot more trustworthy and as a result, easier to get the sale. Let's sum it all up - the next time you want to persuade someone keep these 3 things in mind: Attention - where is it directed and can you hold it? Unity - are you part of the team, or them?
Can you demonstrate that? Connections - what positive mental connections and associations are you making? Now, lets see how you can make use of all of these powerful tactics in your life.
