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Nobody Can Handle Dolly Parton's ZERO Filter and It's HILARIOUS!

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243.83k1,784 Wörter8m readGrade 4
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Fame Frenzy
Do you believe in living together before you're married? Lord, I don't even believe in living together after you're married. It's a good thing I was born a a woman or I'd have been a drag queen.
What would you do today if you if you ran into another Jolene with your husband? Oh, with my husband. I'd just hide his Viagra.
Oh, yeah. The number one Dolly Parton pet peeve. Nobody notices I've got a great ass, too.
where Dolly Parton might look like the sweetest woman in country music, but give her a microphone, ask her a completely innocent question, and suddenly you have absolutely no idea what's coming out of her mouth. Her answers are so unexpected that sometimes the audience doesn't even know whether to laugh, clap, or just stare at her. And that's exactly what makes Dolly Parton impossible to handle because Dolly has zero filter.
One of the funniest things about her is the way she responds to questions from the audience. So the question is, if you could tell teenagers of America today one thing, whether it be advice or something of support, what would it be? I would say act like it's raining every day and wear your rubbers.
[cheering] [applause] Joey, I'd like to ask you a question. Okay. I know that you have a lot of experience wearing wigs.
Yeah. And I wonder, should I use Roane? Should I get a wig or should I stay the way I am?
What do you think, darling? I think you should stay the way you are because just because you've lost your buzz don't mean you're not a peach. Hi.
You believe in living together before you're married? Lord, I don't even believe in living together after you're married. I've been married for [applause] But I'm not one to judge other people.
I I fig I figure everybody's got their own thing going and I know a lot of you know a lot of people do. I I certainly ain't one to judge. My question for you is I just think you make a great politician.
Oh, thank you. What do you think, Dolly? Yeah.
What? Being a politician? Yeah.
Dolly for president. [music] Hey. Hey.
Hey. I'll be your running mate. Okay, be good.
I'll do it. I don't I think show business. I think we are like politicians, but I think more, you know, more of myself as a diplomat and that's the people that tell you to go to hell in such a way you look forward to the trail.
[laughter] I don't think politics is in my future though. [laughter] I don't think so. But thank you if you're serious.
Dolly for president. My dad used to have a he used to have a sign in the back of his pickup truck that said Dolly for president for years. Yeah, he thought that was fun along with his gun rack [laughter] right under it.
And when the topic turned to her family and religion, things got even more unexpected. Instead of giving the safe, predictable celebrity answer everyone was expecting. Dolly went in a completely different direction.
The audience immediately lost it. Dirt poor. Well, we were dirt poor, but most people back there were were poor.
Uh, we grew up I grew up on a farm in a family of 12 children, six girls and six boys. And a lot of people had big families. People asked me if we were Catholic cuz we had so many children.
I said, "No, just horny Baptist. " After returning to her hometown, Dolly ran into her high school boyfriend and instead of having some sweet nostalgic reunion, Dolly said things to him that were absolutely hilarious. Want you folks to meet Course.
He didn't graduate with us either. But I have told so many stories about him. You was a year behind me, I think.
And uh Gary, of course, is the former mayor of Seir County. And he was my boyfriend. Of course, he's married now, so I can't say on national television how we used to fool around in the back of his daddy's pickup truck.
I'm not going to say that, but you know, just think if I had have played my cards right, Gary, I could have been the former Miss Mayor of Seir County. You didn't need my political clout to make a success in life. See, he's still sweet talking.
Still sweet talking. Nice to see you. I just met the new mayor.
You was mayor here for 10 years. Yeah, 10 years. I want to tell you, you look great.
You've lost a lot of weight and I like you a little bit better when there's more to love. You should know. Good to see you.
I wanted you folks to meet him because some of the boys I went with up here weren't quite that good-looking and I didn't want them on TV. But nothing proves her zero filter personality better than the story she told about her husband Carl. During a radio appearance, Dolly started telling a story involving Carl and an In-N-Out Burger.
And somehow what should have been a simple story about fast food turned into one of the funniest Dolly stories ever. I love all the styles, too, cuz I know I tell you a funny story about the In-N-Out Burger. My husband's kind of bashful, and I I know they I like what they call animal style.
You as local folk know what I'm talking about, right? Yeah, but they don't have that on the menu. It does not say that when you go through.
And so I was telling my husband, he was out visiting from Nashville. And uh he didn't want to order it. I said, "Just order it animal style.
" And he said, "I am not saying that. " I said, "Trust me, it's okay. " So he did it and then he got mad at me and then later on I I said, "Well, I wanted to go down to Pink [clears throat] the the hot dog store.
" He said, "I'm not going down there. You'll be having me ordering doggy stuff. [laughter] Oh my gosh.
I know it's kind of risque, but you are in LA and it was just too funny not to share. Have you ever thought about doing a reality show or something like that? Oh, hell no.
I don't want no reality. I couldn't let people that close into my life. But Dolly's honesty gets even funnier when she talks about men.
She has openly joked about the way men look at her when she's talking to them. And honestly, the way she describes it is hilarious because Dolly knows exactly what people are thinking. When I talk to a man, I can always tell what he's thinking by where he's looking.
If he's looking at my eyes, he's looking for intelligence. If he's looking at my mouth, well, he's looking for width and wisdom. If he's looking anywhere else except my chest, he's looking for another man.
[cheering] I was curious about the men in my life. And y'all know about my husband, Carl, and how he met the way she washing laundry. Now we've been going around and around seeing you know Carl is not the most comfortable person to be around show business anything related to it.
I think you've seen me perform only once, but thank goodness I've seen her perform hundreds of times. And then you come back for an encore. [cheering] [cheering] And then came the moment she received the Winnie Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award.
You would think a lifetime achievement speech would be emotional. Instead, she got up there and started talking in a way that had the entire audience laughing non-stop. This Willie Nelson Lifetime Achievement Award to the one and only Dolly Parton.
[cheering and music] I would have cried, but I didn't want to mess up my eyelashes, and I was I was doing my best. But anyway, this is such a great compliment to be receiving the uh Willie Nelson award. This is a absolute high for me.
[cheering] And finally, the moment that lives rentree in country music history. Dolly and Carol on stage together just talking, riffing, going back and forth with no script, no plan. And somehow from that pure, unfiltered chaos, they accidentally created a song on the spot out of nothing but two legends bouncing off each other.
It's the kind of moment you can't script, you can't plan, and you definitely can't forget. I can't do this. I uh Oh, shut up.
I know that everybody in Nashville picks an instrument. I wanted to belong. So, I got this banjo and uh I took lessons and I practiced and uh you just heard the results.
I feel so I don't know, inferior. Oh, Carol, you should feel inferior. You should because you do realize that Nashville has the greatest pickers in all the world.
And I feel inferior to them. I do. So it's all right.
No one picks like a Nashville picker picks. Oh, Dolly, would you say that again? Oh, Dolly.
Oh, not that part. I mean the part just before that. Oh, well I said no.
No one picks like a Nashville picker picks. Yeah. Would you say that again?
No one picks like a Nashville picker picks. Would you say it just once more? Are you in there?
No one picks like a Nashville [music] picker pick. See what I mean? That's got some rhythm.
That's, you know, No one picks like a Nashville picker picks. See that? [music] See that?
You sang the words, Carol. And I'll pick the licks. [music] No one picks like a Nashville picker.
Like a Nashville picker picks. Woo. I tell you what, Carol, you may not be a great picker, but you are a natural songwriter.
Do you realize what you Yeah, [music] you are. I mean, you've just written a song that's as good as anything I've written. It is, isn't it?
It is good. You know, it is. I think it's really better than you think.
No, it couldn't be. I think it's wonderful. [music] With you, if I was to sing along with you just to do something, I love it.
You would? That'd be fun. Sure.
Well, would it be okay too if I [music] asked the boys over here, the national pickers, some of them, to join in and pick along with us? You think they can cut it? I think they probably can.
[music] [music] Heat. Heat. [music] Heat.
Heat.
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