Guys, I'm on the run. Cops are following ME AND I GOT TO GET OUT OF TOWN. SIRI, find me the nearest train station.
Now playing Baby Shark on Spotify. What? No.
I [laughter] look so funny. Hi guys. Logan likes to think that we live in the North Pole, so he keeps the AC cranked up all the way and has me looking like the Michelin man.
Why don't you tell the audience what you will be doing today, YOU DUMB? WHOA, Siri is ruthless. Jesus.
Okay, so as you guys can probably already tell, Siri is going to be controlling my life for a day. As if you had any control over your life before me. It hurts because there's some truth to it.
I need [laughter] help. Siri, this is clearly going to be a really long day. I need to wear an outfit for today.
Do I wear a cute '7s outfit or do I wear uh a costume? Well, since it seems like it's your least favorite option, a costume. Could have seen that one coming.
I can't wear a costume, though, because that's going to be really embarrassing and we have a long day and I don't like to embarrass myself in public. So, I don't really think that this is a really good idea. SANTA [screaming] earrings on Vic.
What? What the elf? What is she doing?
What is she wearing? I got you bananas. [screaming] What is wrong with you?
I got you bananas. Thanks. You're wrong.
Bye, weirdo. All right, Siri, I'm in my costume. What is the plan for today?
Can I just relax? Can I just, you know, chill? I've worked really hard this week.
Seriously, have you looked in a mirror lately? Can I go for like like a quick run? Like a one mile?
I want to say eight miles, but I will be kind to you and Eminem. Six miles. Six?
I'm sorry, Siri. Did you say six miles? You try this.
I cannot run. I am just a virtual assistant created by Apple. Something you have clearly never eaten in your life.
Oh my god, Siri's a little ruthless, but um I have to Oh my god, I have to wear this. I have to wear this when I run. Okay.
Well, I feel like I'm in like the holiday marathon right now. Merry Christmas. Why is everybody looking at me weird?
Have they never seen a girl running in milk costume before? How do people run for fun? I don't get it.
Just like do a jigsaw puzzle or something. [music] [music] Oh my god, that was death. Okay, Siri, what's next for the day?
I think you should go clean Logan's room. Nice try, Siri. Siri doesn't think.
You scared me. Oh man, you did a horrible Siri impression. Listen, your outfit sucks.
[laughter] Okay, Siri, it's time to meet my friends. [music] I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that.
Did you say you had friends? [laughter] Oh my gosh. She's not wrong.
Benjamin, what are you wearing? What? What are you wearing?
Not a elf onesie, that's for sure. Ben, do you know Siri? Yes, I do.
You do? Okay. Hello, Ben.
I heard your mother paints your toes. YO. OKAY.
THIS man has pink toenails year round. Did I just get roasted by Siri? You did.
Siri is controlling my life for a day. If she's controlling your life, okay, I have a question for Siri. Okay.
Hey, Siri. Um, should Pearson kiss or slap Brent? Kiss or slap?
Obviously, we need to go with Pearson slapping Brent. I LIKE SIRI. NO.
NO. He's going to hate me. Actually, I'm kind of down.
Hey, Brent. Hello. How's it going?
Good. How are you? I'm good.
Oh, what was that for? Wait, that [laughter] wasn't PART OF IT. SIRI DIDN'T TELL YOU TO DO THAT.
OH MY GOD. WAIT, DID SIRI NOT SAY KISS? I almost kissed Ben.
Siri said that, didn't she? You going to kiss? I swear she just said that.
I don't think so. I think Ben's just trying to [laughter] just mean to slap you. It was Siri.
Siri? Yes. Yeah.
What's going on with Siri? Why would you listen to Siri? Your name is Brent, but you asked me to call you boy who can't seem to make a move on your so-called crush.
[laughter] Damn. What? Oh my god.
Wait, did Siri just diss me? Uh, Pearson, have you had dinner yet? No.
Siri, should uh Pearson have a burger from Shake Shack or the hottest chicken wings we should find? Oh my god. Oh my god.
Oh my. Obviously, the hottest chicken wings. [laughter] Oh, Siri's Siri is my best friend.
No. No. Oh, they smell so good.
Oh my god. OW. OKAY.
OW. OH. OKAY.
These are the spiciest hot wings we could find. They're called fireball wings. Oh my god.
I didn't even eat one and my mouth's burning. Oh my god. My nostrils are sizzling.
Maybe we should like NO, WE ADD SOME SPICE. BEN. NO.
Oh yeah. You're not spicy enough. Spicy really makes me like not add Can you not TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW?
I DON'T LIKE SPICY STUFF. I DON'T EITHER. Try it.
Okay, here we go. Big juicy bite. I want to hear it.
I want to hear it. Did you hear it, bro? Yeah.
Let's see the bone. Let's see the bone. Yeah.
There it is. Lick the finger. Lick the finger.
Lick the finger. Lick the finger. Let me Let me lick it.
Oh my god. Oh my god. [laughter] Let me right quick.
Is it back? Oh my god. Oh no.
Can't you see? You're lying. [laughter] I might throw up.
No, you're not. I'm going to throw up. Oh my god.
OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. REALLY?
OH MY GOD. ARE [laughter] YOU SERIOUS? It's blazing fire.
It's blazing fire. Fight it. Fight it.
NO. NO. NO.
NO. I CAN'T SWALLOW IT. NO.
HER FACE IS red as it. Fight it. Fight it.
You're sweating. YOU'RE SWEATING. I KNOW.
OH MY GOD. I'm sweating. I'm actually sweating so bad.
Oh my god. Oh god. It's when you swallow it and sweat.
Wait. You can't take the onesie off because Siri told you to put IT ON. I KNOW.
DOES WATER MAKE IT BETTER? WAIT. Let me move.
Just drink it. [music] Just drink. Drnk.
Drnk. Pour on your head or something. [laughter] Here.
Here. Drnk more. Drnk more.
Drnk more. Drnk more. Okay.
Just drink more. WOW. I thought it would help.
At least it kind of helped. It probably did help. [screaming] So, how was that?
What do you think? I think it looked great, honestly. Did it?
Oh, it wasn't fun. Siri, what's next? I suppose you have suffered enough.
Take Brent to your favorite place, Disneyland. Oh my god. Oh, that's cool.
Oh my god. Save by the bell. I'm so excited.
I could cry. We're going to Disneyland. after I poop fire.
Okay, we made it to Disney. All right. Okay, here we go.
What ride should we go on first? The spinning teacups. Oh my god, I love that ride.
Okay. Okay. But first, you must drink four milkshakes before going on the ride.
Are you kidding me? Are you kidding me? She's literally trying to kill me.
Cheers. Are you almost done? Mhm.
No, you're not. Yes, I am. I'm getting a tummy ache already.
Okay. Stomach. E.
It can come out. But you know what is going to come out? My lunch.
Let's go. We just finished our milkshakes. We're on our way to the teacup.
I think it'll be fine. I don't think it's going to be fine. It's It's going to Okay.
Well, wait. Be optimistic. Don't.
[laughter] Oh my god. He didn't know the teacup turning into an old man. I need I need to find a trash can right now.
I don't feel good at all. Okay, so now I'm dressed as Buddy the elf in public. I almost threw up on that teacup ride.
Now what do we do? I have an idea. What is it now?
Right. You have to ride the Matter Horn. Okay, you know what?
I like the Matter Horn. I'm down for that. Siri, can we do that?
Ride the Matter Horn while drinking a 20 oz cup of lemonade. Yep. I like the way she tastes.
Yeah, that sounds about right. Sounds like my day just keeps getting better and better. Sounds like you're going to suffer.
It's freezing out. I thought we were friends then. I'm better than her.
I brought you to Disneyland and this is how you treat me. A sorry. You know what?
You can stick with Siri. SIRI MUST TREAT YOU WAY better than me. OKAY, HERE WE GO.
This is so scary. Holy crap. It's really scary, BRENT.
THAT was the worst thing I've ever done. It was fun for me. Oh [laughter] my god.
Was it fun? You're soaking wet and cold. Thanks.
Can I have your jacket? No. That was the worst idea I have ever heard.
I'm freezing. That was a pretty good idea. I can't tell you how much water I got up my nose.
We're at Disneyland. We're at the happiest place on earth. I'm not going to let Siri ruin my life anymore.
So, I'm done. I'm done. Hey, you cannot leave me here.
I have an update with Australian Siri later. No, [music] I just want to be happy. That's all I want.
Okay, you know what? So, what are you going to hit you? I'm sorry.
Are you okay? You hit me with your phone. Are you okay?
No.
