"How To Be A Husband" - The LOST art of biblical manliness!

Open your Bibles to 1 Peter chapter 3:7 and we are talking here about the role of the husband in marriage and Society has largely forgotten the role of the husband in marriage I mean they've forgotten the wife's role that's for sure in fact some of society hates the wife's role as if it's a bad thing um and it's a beautiful and glorious thing if you understand it correctly biblically um but I think that a vague memory of the role of the wife is still in society and our culture today but the husband's role is completely

lost it seems to me that of the two roles the one that we need to be reminded of the most is the husband's role um the the husband's role is just I mean here you've got Homer Simpson and Marge Simpson you know what I mean and the H and that Homer Simpson character is is pretty much representative of so many of the Al bundies and the various um you can tell what we watched when I was growing up um it wasn't Little House on the Prairie in my my house but uh but you can tell

that the role of the husband is just kind of Forgotten and so a lot of guys have no idea what it meanss to be a man and I could say the same thing for me when I was in my early 20s if you were like Mike what does it mean to be a man and I would have been like that's a fantastic question I'm really not sure and so this is going to speak to us about something about what it means to be a man and the role of a husband in the marriage and um

God's call to husbands is so needful Right now it's so necessary um the divorce rates are about 50% in America in our country about 50% divorce rates the um and that's a whole complicated subject in of itself I'd love to tackle it sometime if we happen to get there verse by verse but check this out those statistics radically change when you have a Biblical marriage radically change just for those who save themselves for marriage it drops to under 25% just that one act right there um now for those who actually have a Biblical concept of

marriage it just drops much greater and so we've got God's God's plan is is is good for us it's like it is the right way to do it you know we've all been there like on the job and the boss comes along and he's like don't do it that way do it this way and you're thinking I've been doing this this way for 30 years and you come along and you think you can tell me I can do some of but in this case the boss is right in this case the boss is totally correct

he's like no you're doing it wrong do it this way and that's the thing for for husbands so it's needful but it's also very specific there's more details about the husband's role than people sometimes realize so I want to dig into the details of what I'm called to do and you you guys are called to do and girls what you can look for in your husband and throw in his face later on so um I'm kidding don't throw it in his face but you know I'm joking um but they're also very simple so there's details

but they're very uncomplicated and in that God's given us these sort of rules or principles as husbands that easily apply to just about any scenario you know so it's not this like real Detail like and if it's a Tuesday and she's feeling this way then you should do it's rather it's these generic rules that are simple specific and super needful and this will simplify your marriage um I think that uh there's a phrase I've heard in the past that if you understand something really well you should be able to summarize it in a single short

sentence I think Einstein did this really well when he said E equals MC s not that any of us understand what that means well I can tell you what the symbol stand for but don't don't don't ask me what it means um but yeah the the statements from God in the scriptures about husbands and wives are are short and simple and we don't have a huge passages of scripture to unpack we have these short simple passages so here we are reading uh God's understanding his understanding of marriage very well 1 Peter 3:7 says husbands likewise

dwell with them with understanding giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and being and as being heirs together in the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered now this is where we are in First Peter but because I'm going to take the topic of of husbands roles I'm going to actually come back to this after I go to a major teaching passage for husbands and that's you know it it's Ephesians 5 so turn to Ephesians 5 then we're going to come back to First Peter and after laying the foundation

of this major teaching passage the probably number one passage husbands should learn memorize having their hearts as a daily mantra for themselves and their brides and Ephesians 5:25 it says this husbands love your Wives it's a command love your wives and then we're told how just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of Water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and

without blemish so husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church for we are members of his body of his flesh and of his bones for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ in the church nevertheless Let each one of you in particular

and here's the summary verse 33 here's the summary of marriage right here if you know it well you can summarize it right nevertheless Let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband and so there you have like the love and respect thing that this sort of formula for marriage last week we talked about wives this week we'll doal with the husbands um the husband's Chief responsibility is interesting to me because the husband is called to be the leader in the marriage

and the wife is to look at the husband hband and see him as the leader and as an authority in the home but the husband's his commands have nothing to do with leadership and that's kind of strange but when you realize this that's because we won't have a hard time just telling people what to do we have a hard time walking in love this is this is what's needful for me You know to walk in love the moment my wife offends me my tendency is to pull my love away from her and isolate her from

that love that I have vowed to give to her but God has told us to love our wives this is my chief responsibility as a husband hers is submit and respect mine is agape love self-sacrificial love and so love is commanded that's really interesting our society thinks of love as a feeling it's difficult not to think of love as a feeling because of how many love stories have you seen I mean sometimes you watch a commercial and you just saw a love story you know it's you see so many love stories very few movies don't

have these love stories like I remember watching Lord of the Rings in the theater and I was like I don't remember all this stuff about the Aragorn and uh uh aen whatever her name was I don't remember Arwin AO some other girl yeah I'm other other love story in the film so but I'm like I don't even remember that I read the books I don't remember that you know that's interesting and I it's just that you've got to like have a love story you know it just got to be there but their version of love

so often is off base because it's about the feelings of love now let me try to be as clear as I can love is not feelings though love has feelings I think that that's a fair understanding of it I know what it's like to just be madly in love I mean just head over heels in love I remember not being able to sleep when we first uh were dating and getting engaged and stuff like that you know now I can't sleep but it's because of my back it's a different reason but those those are the

emotions of love and I consider those like the Icing on like this is a wonderful treat you know it's a beautiful thing I love it I and it's it's exciting the heart but the thing is the heart goes there and gives you those feelings even when what you have is not a Godly love you could have those feelings for someone who's not your spouse these feelings do not make a relationship legitimate and the lack of these feelings do not make a relationship illegitimate so if someone's like well we fell out of love well well God

never told you to fall in love he told you to walk in love and love is considered like more of like a verb in the scriptures it's dealt with as a command and the reason why it's commanded is because you can simply do it I could say stand up and you guys would stand up sit down and you'd sit down love and you go oh well I I me you can't you can't force love no actually you can and that's really important you can choose love and that's the husband's role over and over again day

after day after day is to choose to walk in love towards his bride now if he does this his feelings of love are most likely going to be there as well if he doesn't do this he'll probably lose those feelings but you see how one causes the other not typically the other way around love is commanded it's not we're not asked to feel love we're asked to walk in love so Ephesians 52 if you just look back on your page a little bit you'll see in fact he tells us walk in love we're told walk

in love and then the husband specifically hey your bride she's the one you need to focus on really the most on loving her 2 John verse 6 says this this is love that we walk according to his Commandments this is the Commandment that as you have heard from the beginning you should walk in it Jesus said if you love me obey my commands and so someone could be like I love God with all my heart I'm just not really close to him right now I'm not really following him or doing what he wants me to

do then I would say then you don't love God because if you love him you'll obey his commands but you're not walking in love so what you have is good feelings toward God but not actions of Love toward God and the same since husbands we've got to have actions like 3D real tactile things that we do towards our wives on a regular daily basis that are walking in love so this is actually really simple although it's it's difficult I get that because it requires the husband to come to a place where he dies to himself

and he's like okay I'm just going to do what you tell me to do Lord um because sometimes everything in me is wanting me to not be loving and not care and not put her first but just to kind of isolate kind of cut her off from here okay well I'll I'll be the bread winner or I'll be this but I'm not going to you know I'm I'm going to break the relationship down but she needs more than bread so and so that's not good there was a a story of a husband who went to

a counselor Christian counselor and the husband's there and he says counselor the love is gone you know The Thrill Is Gone Away and it is it is no more and the counselor said well you know you're called to to to love your wife husband love your wife and he says But you don't understand it's like she's not even my wife it's like we're just neighbors you know it's like we're just neighbors or she's my sister and we're just we're just living in the house together and we go through our routine and I I go you

know over here and she goes over here and we hardly talk and it's like we're just acquaintances we're just neighbors and he says well the Bible says to love your neighbor and he goes you don't understand okay it's like this woman is not the woman I married she's changed she's different it's like she's a stranger it's like she's a stranger and I've never seen this woman before I don't even know who she is this isn't the woman I married she's some stranger and he says well the Bible says love strangers love the stranger and he

says no you don't understand it's like she's my enemy and I mean it's like she tries to undermine my life and she does things just to hurt me and to wound me I'm fearful that she will somehow try to poison me or do some great harm to me and the counselor leans in and says do you know what the Bible says about your enemies and I use this story to illustrate one thing there is never a time when the husband's call to love his wife doesn't apply it is a constant constant call it is always

there I'm always called to love my wife always always always so that leads me to a question how is the husband's love for his wife different than his love for anybody else you know because I could be like well I'm called to love everybody you know but there is a difference um it's the same kind of thing and I found this after being married I don't know if you Discovered the same thing this is just my personal opinion here but I realize that the love I have for My bride is very much like the love

I have for my sister or my mother or or a brother of mine or or a good friend it's really like I don't know categories of love so much but we have a different relationship in that and now I'm not saying there's no romance there's plenty of romance that's not the issue the issue is that that love is Love Is Love Is Love I mean Biblical love Is Just is is caring for the needs of others and putting them above yourself and that sort of thing but how is it different well marriage is my stewardship

and given that everyone has needs hers come first and that I want to love everybody and I want to take care of everybody as much as I can but hers come first cuz she's my bride and so that that would be the husband's thing there is to go okay you know there's times where I say I can't do an event or I won't be able to do something because I'm like you know we need to spend some time together and our marriage is important and that out of the Overflow of the home comes the ministry

to others and stuff and so so I think that that it's the same type of love but in a different um category of of okay your priority Numero Uno next to Jesus and that was the deal I did when I got married that was The Vow I made and that was the oath I took so we're told how we're told to love our wives as Christ loved the church and then the description is given for how he loved the church because he did lots of things for the church but specifically oh this is so oh

this is this is hard this is hard and it is serious and it is God is entirely means it Jesus took our sins put them on himself he paid the Price so he could what forgive us and bring us back there are times Poss husband when we will be called to take our wife's offense or hard thing that she may have done to us and simply suffer for it and forgive and that this is Walking In Love he came down for us he humbled himself he died for us for our sins he put our knees

far above his own when when the church sinned against Christ Christ paid for it forgave her and then drew the church to himself in love that is intense that is really intense so that as intense as it is it's also very practical I think as men we like big showy at least I do like big showy things you know can I do something ah like really huge for my bride like take run in front of a bus for her or something I don't know you know I want to do something great and Grand and one

uh one date night I'll remember I'll never forget this because it just taught me so much we were talking what do you want to do on our date night and I said you know what honey um I just want to do and this is cuz I was studying on Mar I want to apply what I'm studying and I I just want to do whatever would make you happy do you remember this I said I'll do whatever would make you happy and she goes you know what would really make me happy she gets this look on

her face and I go what just tell me and she goes if you fixed the bookshelf that broke so our date night was me fixing the bookshelf that broke in my hacky way of doing things I'm fixing things it works now that's good but huh you were there with me and we she it was actually a really nice date was it not was not a really nice State You know so I think that this um this putting her first thing is meant to be super practical and daily daily things um you know if we're going

to go out to eat and she wants to eat here and I want to eat here I I'll go where she wants to eat but Mike you're you make the decision in the marriage yeah and I decide to do whatever blesses her why because that's my call that's what I'm called to do Under the authority of Christ is I put my wife's needs above my own I put her preferences above my own I try to to to do those things I mean if she wants to paint the bathroom pink and thankfully she doesn't but if

she wants to paint the bathroom pink and I'm going that's going to look ridiculous and she's like but I really just want a pink bathroom well it's not like it's a safety issue you know I don't think that that can induce seizures as far as I'm aware but so no then we'll paint the bathroom pink whatever whatever so this poses us with a real danger we have nowadays um well we've always had this danger but nowadays because we've exalted the feelings of love and we' have not exalted the actions of love and let me give

you an example of this Romeo and Juliet this is not a love story It is Well written but it is not a love story yeah come on really they they throw their own families under the bus they lie to everybody then they commit suicide at the idea of not being able to be with each other Romeo and Juliet were fools and if we can learn anything from them it should be that we can't learn anything from them about love or about caring Romeo should have gone and said I love your daughter I'd like to marry

her and when they said never he'd be like well then I'll wait and I'll prove myself to You that's what he should have done that would have been the romantic thing that would have been the The Godly thing to do but no no in fact if you recall from the beginning of the movie he had just gotten over his because I'm sure you seen the movie and not the play like me she had just gotten over his love for Rosalyn I believe it was yeah literally 5 seconds before he saw Juliet and fell in love

fell in love more like fell on his face but but yes the danger of falling in love it's good to ask why do you want to marry that person you know if you talk to a single person you're like see you're interested in them why do you want to marry that person is it because they're beautiful is it because you can talk together well is it because they make you feel good I'll say those are beautiful things but that will not sustain your marriage how about it's because you've decided you want to love them and

put their needs above yours until you die because that's what our call is as guys we're called to put her needs above our own if one of us is going to be cold it should be you if one of us is going to be sore it should be you I I think that chivalry is a Biblical principle to put her needs above our own but um let's let's actually turn if you would to 1 Corinthians chapter 7 I want to look at another scripture relating to husbands relating to husbands 1 Corinthians 7:32 now this is

an observation that Paul makes and actually this passage is written to people um either who are Married single or people who were on the fence who were deciding if they should get married or if they should stay single so it's a really interesting passage and it says here but I want you to be without care and he's speaking about how he he thinks being single is better for the sake of the kingdom of God which it is um but he who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord how he may please the Lord

but he who is married cares about the things of the world how he may please his wife now it is true that this single person can spend so much more time serving God I mean they can go help out in the food line and they can go out and witness over here and there but the married person needs to have a date night with their spouse like the fact that I'm married is the reason why I've been spending some of my day offs working on the house like I'll be honest if I was single I

wouldn't have a house I wouldn't need one you know certainly wouldn't be working on it but I am concerned with some of the things of the world now not meaning ungodly things but meaning material things because I need to take care of my bride I want to be a provider I want to take care of her and provide an environment where she's safe and that's a Biblical idea so here's the thing there was years ago several people who were saying that men of God you know what just go out there and serve God and God

will take care of your family and God will take care of your children and this was sometimes what was being said that they could basically not worry about taking care of their kids but then that ignores 1 Corinthians 7 which says what that the married man and it's not a criticism it's an observation he cares about the things of this world how he May please his wife when I took on marriage I took on a Ministry that required me to be more concerned about material things than I previously was and rightly so and rightly so

so that's a really interesting passage you're welcome to look into 1 Corinthians 7 even more detail but it's clearly there do you know Billy Graham I mean here's a guy who's been used greatly by God and you know so many uh outreaches and all this stuff really cool he was asked though what he would do differently if he could go back and talk to a young Billy Graham and what would he say differently for him and he said this I would have spent more time at home and I thought whoo that's really impressive like whoa

you would have spent more time at home because his ministry required him to what travel all over the place to be all over the place right but he goes I would have spent more time at home that's now I'm not saying he failed or something like that but that was his observation and I think we could learn from that sort of thing I have a responsibility at home now because I'm married and hopefully God willing will one day have kids that means that I will be able to do less Ministry because of it and then

I may have an opportunity to do something that seems really great for God and I have to turn it down because it will have a bad impact on my family and that is what I should do because that's the deal and that's how I understand it um so if you want to be without care don't say God take care of My Wife and Kids no if you're married it's too late if you want to be without care don't get married stay single well I don't think I can handle that all right well then get married

and be real about it take care of your family um so that's not a complaint it's simply an observation because your wife your bride Is a Ministry that you take on as a husband and ministering to her is is is is a very important thing um she's God's daughter and if you've if you've ever been the dad who gave away his daughter then you can imagine how God feels about giving his daughter to you he's like you better take good care of her I think we need to realize that she's a Ministry in and of

it in and of it herself and she's a Ministry I want to be able to look back and say I'm being faithful in because I know I'm one of those guys who I do ministry all the time and I I wouldn't take time for anything else but I but because of scripture I make sure to pray prze this relationship now what about when she fails when she sins when she disrespects the husband or disregards him Rebels against his authority in the home now keep in mind as I said last time the husband's never called to

force the wife to submit that's an ungodly abusive Behavior the wife is called to submit but she submits herself this is it's still in her power she's making the choice she's making the decision the husband's never called to tell his wife to do this or make her do this so let's suppose that she Rebels what is he supposed to to do well he's supposed to show her love that's what he's supposed to do in fact this in counseling with couples has been the most difficult thing for the guy to swallow in my experience I've seen

a guy walk in with counseling he big smile on his face and I'm sharing with him about the the role of the husband in the in the in the um relationship and to be honest in this relationship the wife was not interested in her role or following Jesus for that matter and so I said but you believe in Christ and you want to follow Christ I said okay well then your job is to love her even if she's mistreating you and being unloving to You and being horrible to you your job is a lover anyways

and he left there with a with a very sad face other than the one because he thought I thought it was going to be all about her and then end up being all about me and I said well I get that but but that's your call and you're the one who's saying you're going to follow Jesus this is your chance to show love I I had a guy write me a letter when we first got married he said Mike when your wife mistreats you this is your chance to show the love of Christ to her

because you know what when you're feeling great and when you're feeling fine and she's treating you fantastic this is not your chance to show the love of Christ you're just reciprocating you know it's just natural of course I'm loving you right now we're in love you know but when I'm offended or hurt or embarrassed or or what or feeling betrayed that is when the love of Christ can be shown now in the Bible there is really not a lot of good examples of husbands have you noticed this we're told that we can look to Sarah

as a great example of a wife we are not told that we can look to Abraham as a great example of a husband in fact I racked my brain trying to think of somewhere in the scripture where we have this really great example of a Godly Man Who Loved Ministry and serving God but was also a good husband and there's only one I can think of offhand and his name is Hosea and his example is going to depress all of the [Applause] Men Hosea is told by God to marry a prostitute to take her in

and to love her she cheats on him he takes her back she leaves him has kids with other people falls into prostitution and slavery he buys her back and takes her in again she she H he has biblical grounds for divorce but does not do it no he takes her in and he loves her and he keeps her and eventually she stays with him we don't even know if she ended up being a great spouse or not but he's an example Le of a good husband wow what did he do he took her sins on

himself and said I'll just bear the weight of this Lord with your strength and I'm just going to love her unconditionally unendingly and without any boundaries to it I'm just going to love her and that's our our example then we have one example that's even harder to follow and his name is Jesus who what gave himself for the church and so what we see consistently is a self-sacrificial love for the bride this does not mean that our wives are somehow evil or or but the point is we're given these really extreme examples so that we'll

realize it's always time to love no matter what it's always time to love on my bride um so Ephesians 5:29 it it says this that no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church and for me I highlight those two words nourish and cherish because I think that the context is that this is about how a husband should take care of his bride just as Christ takes care of the church Christ nourishes and cherishes the husband nourishes and cherishes his own Body and so he should

do this for his bride as he treats her like his own body so I'm to nourish and cherish now this is interesting a husband does have a role as a provider and that's the nourishment I'm I'm giving you what you need but the pro provision comes not only financially but Also spiritually emotionally I you know sometimes I I see my wife and I think we haven't spent a lot of time together in the past couple days we just need to hang out you know and so we just just sit together and watch some stupid show

watch like some cooking show or I don't know something play a game or or whatever go out and just drive somewhere just do something because I can see that our our relationship needs that nourishment but there's other times where just she needs something and rather than look upon her and think oh you need that and you should just man up or something like that rather minister to that need because that's my role as husband now what's cool about this is this is not my natural self this is what scripture calls me to do and I

love that that God God knows marriage he knows what's needed he knows what what wives need he knows what husbands need so we're to nourish but we're also to cherish and to cherish all that's well I mean you think of the song Cherish is the word I use to remind me up you know to cherish is to tenderly care for to cherish it could actually be the word for imparting warmth onto something you know like when when you sit next to the fireplace and you're being warmed by it that that would be that being being

cherished and it has to do with comforting so I'm to look and always always be learning how to show her her precious place in our lives her precious Place to me that that I cherish this woman now I'm not going to do it perfectly and of course this is the ideal and I'll fail and I need to get up and I need to get on the path again when I fail but this is our calling to nourish and to cherish her and so I I try to remind myself of these words and I encourage husbands

to do the same to learn and study Ephesians ignoring the part about your what your wife's supposed to do and focusing on the part about what we're supposed to do because I can't be the evaluator of her it's her is unto the Lord I'm not her evaluator I'm not her boss like that I have an authority in the marriage but I'm not I'm not the boss that's gosh if your boss followed you home and tried to be the boss of everything you did you wouldn't uh have a good relationship with him um but I do

make decisions but my decisions are there than to bless my wife and provide safety and godliness in the home um so turn to another passage look at Colossians chapter 3 here's another word that comes up and it's the word bitter and I want to look at it because it applies to husbands Colossians chapter 3 after in verse 18 telling the wives to submit to their own husbands as is fitting in the Lord then in verse 19 he says husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them now that is really a strange to

me thing to say of of all that God could tell us in this passage he has one word for husbands to love their wives and then not to be bitter toward them that word word bitter it doesn't mean bitterness in the typical sense you might think of when I'm holding a grudge although obviously we're not to hold grudges we're told not to hold grudges But it means to not be harsh this bitterness is more of like a flavor that comes across as I speak as with my glances with my with my hand motions or whatever

it is I'm doing to have a harsh or sharp edged demeanor toward my spouse it is interesting that in relationships that are long old relationships somebody can do something and from the outside in you you'd see someone does something they say like how are you today and then this person over here is like really offended because they saw through what that was and they knew what was really behind it and what they really meant and I had some great advice given to me when I um was just engaged with Allison and I said well I

think she was doing this because of this and um and it was Pastor Mack who told me he said don't go there and it was the best advice ever was just like like don't don't go there which translated was like you are such a fool you you're trying to read minds and and what we do is we read our fears and our insecurities into the minds of our spouse and then we respond to them with harshness with bitterness with a defensive Behavior like a porcupine shooting those quills out and that that's unfortunate so I'm called

not to be bitter toward them now the opposite of that bitterness is what Proverbs 19:22 says it says what is desired in a man is kindness and I never forget that when I read that verse as a young boy and I thought about my stepdad who was not very kind and um I mean it was unpleasant you know and I thought in one word what I wish this guy had was just kindness I didn't care if he told me What to do I just wish he had kindness I wish it was flavored with some kindness

you know and I think that as as guys we can sometimes get this like on the job mentality where we're harsh and we're like matter of fact and and we forget to flavor it with kindness but but you you learn this over time because you'll see the same guy that's harsh and when he's a grandpa oh he's all kinds of kind and well hopefully mellow but a lot of these guys we we we get our edges worn down you know over time and we learned that there's a there what is desired in a man is

kindness and what is desired from My bride to me is that I just be kind a gentleness and and to take whatever I'm doing and I add some gentleness to it some kindness to it you know whatever I need to say whatever if I need to confront or add some kindness to it add some understanding add something there that that would take away that bitterness that harshness and then um back to First Peter back to First Peter so here we are first Peter 3:7 let's unpack this verse now that we've got all that out I'm

actually really excited to teach this because I'm fully convinced of the Wonder and goodness of God's word to husbands and as you can see it has been largely lost in our media and in our in our culture and um and it is a a wonderful thing when a husband takes up this call 1 Peter 3:7 says husbands likewise dwell with them their wives with understanding giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered so husbands here are encouraged to

dwell With them with understanding giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel and I want to say just real quick women's rights are super important and wherever the gospel has gone and biblical Christianity has gone women's rights have been elevated and lifted up but some people think that if they acknowledge inquality a man has that a woman doesn't have they're somehow being sexist like as if I were to say you know men are generally taller than women I'm now sexist like this is somehow a negative thing but this is the world we live in

it's as though I can make all these observations about men and women and how we're different but I can't say it out loud or I'm in a lot of trouble sometimes it's even worse you can say nice things about about women and bad things about men but you can't say the other so that I can say women are more sensitive than men women are prettier than men which is certainly true women are more nurturing than men and have better natural parenting skills typically than men women have this amazing ability to Bear children and that is

that just blows my mind like that is a special thing a woman can do that a guy never gets to experience and um part of me doesn't want to experience part of it but but it is it is just so amazing I mean it's just miraculous right but you're not allowed to say things like men are better at hard labor and battle we're better designed for that sort of thing men are better leaders in general than women are now that now like the laser beams are showing up and there's the picketing will begin shortly and

oh my video just got banned on YouTube or something but some people just overreact to these things so here's the question what Equality is meant when the Bible says that the woman the bride is the weaker vessel what is meant by that in 1 Peter 3:7 well it's in it's in the word vessel you see it's only the vessel that is weaker the Bible uses the term vessel to talk about our bodies Our physical bodies Our physical nature and it is just that that is weaker in the woman and this is this is a a

truth she's not morally weaker she's not spiritually weaker she's not intellectually weaker in fact um gosh it seems to me that women tend to be more spiritual than men um sadly not because of the women because of the men that's the sad part but there are things that have to do with motherhood that cause a woman's body to be weaker than a man's stronger for burying children but weaker in other things they don't handle cold as well for instance and part of that's because they're they're holding in their core temperature to protect the womb area

and so they're not going to handle cold as well typically you you know how do I know it's cold in the room and I have to turn the heater on I go ladies are you cold and if they're like yeah we're cold then we turn the heater on um did you know that a man and a woman of the same weight same exact weight the man has approximately 15% more muscle mass than the woman does so 150b man 150 PB woman 15% more muscle mass on the guy women have much less strength physically on average

than men do about half of the upper body strength for instance and when you're enlisting in the Marines the US Marines to qualify you've got to you've got to do three pull-ups if you're a guy if you're a woman you don't Have to do any pull-ups at all now is that unfair no because women aren't men why should men have to do what women do or men women have to do what men do this is this is we are different it's silly to think we're not I mean why do you think pro football doesn't have

mixed genders cuz that would be insane now there may be a super rare woman who could just like take out every guy on the team but in general that's insane this is wrong when we go to our high school camps and they do dodgeball every year every year I go up to the leaders and I go hey you're going to do dodgeball I'm not a huge fan of dodgeball with these new balls they have that break faces and stuff it's like really not cool but I said let's just do a water balloon fight anyway so

they do dodgeball and I go are you going to mix the genders and then they're like oh yeah I think so and I'm like man these young bastards don't know what to don't put this 14-year-old girl in with a 17-year-old guy who's throwing missiles across the field you know cuz every time there's a girl crying on the side of the field she's got a headache now her face is all red and it's just like this is just unwise let's not pretend that men and women are the same they're wonderfully different by Design This is not

merely socialization a lot of people say oh men and women are only different because of socialization men are more interested in boys are more interested in like these types of toys and those types of games because we've we've made them that way you know fathers forced their kids to be interested in Cowboys and mothers forc their girls to be interested in Barbie or something like that and this is this is silly if you've ever had I mean how who here has had a boy and a girl yeah they're different now I'm not Saying that guys

are always on this end of the spectrum and girls are always on this end of the spectrum but boys and girls are different boys are boys and girls are girls and no matter how maybe even feminine a guy is he's still a guy he's still a dude right and there are some very obvious differences between the females which I don't think I need to get into so the weaker vessel issues really shouldn't be controversial it's literally she's a weaker vessel so I what do I do seeing that My bride is the weaker vessel I oh

oh there's one area though ladies I'll tell you and this this applies to the moment because I feel as though I'm Contracting some sort of flu or something right now right interestingly women's bodies are better equipped to handle um uh illness and I think that has to do with the mothering with the mothering thing God's equipped you to be able to to you know here you are s sick but you're handling it well and you're taking care of everybody in the house you know and um and so this maybe should make the guys feel better

because it always seems like we get it worse maybe we really do get it worse and we're not just being babies so I'm to dwell with her with understanding what am I to understand that she's different and that that difference gives me a place to show her love now God tells me what to do with the fact that she has a weaker physical vessel and it shows me that my result is not dishonor but rather the opposite 1 Peter 37 to honor her giving honor to her as the weaker vessel so this can't be used

as oppression or something like that she's made in the image of God she's a coair in the grace of life or a full partner in Christ a full partner in Christ she's As in the image of God as I am Genesis 1:27 listen to this God created man in his own image in the image of God he created him male and female he created them see man is a term representing mankind males and females when God talks to women in the Bible he says women or females when he talks to Men He says men and

when he's talking to women and men he says men that's just how it because we're mankind we're we're all humans human human you know that's that's the idea and so um we're all in the image of God and so she's to get honor so how do I honor her well I open the door uh I carry the thing I take the bullet haven't got to do that yet but I'm looking forward to it I I suffer the loss or the sacrifice if there's one to be made um women don't handle hunger as well as men

it's just true this typically true yeah so if one of us is going to not get to eat enough then it should be me I think that that's a fulfillment of this calling here um I treat her as precious and as someone to be protected I treat her as an equal though I mean I have the authority in the marriage but I don't bully ignore or marginalize her I honor her I honor her that Authority is given to me so I can do something for her protect nourish cherish love I daily set aside my needs

to take care of hers that's my calling and then the danger in 1 Peter 3:7 it says that your prayers may not be hindered this to me says husbands your ministry of your marriage is so important that God will not let You get away with failing in this ministry it will hinder your very prayer life so some guys they think like I can you know it's really stressful they're feeling overwhelmed and they abandon their their responsibilities at home and so they're they're really great at work and they're really great when they're hanging with their buddies

but when it comes to home there's just Dro in the ball and God's saying no I will not let you get away with that your very prayers will be hindered you need to do this you need to do this you need to honor me here now this does not mean that it's the husband's responsibility to make it a great marriage it's just his job to do his job he may do all these things and find that it's not a great marriage by some definition you know and that's fine he's honoring Christ and that should be

enough because he's doing it unto the Lord so we have to ask ourselves if we're looking at marriage to enjoy a romance or to fulfill a ministry as unto the Lord and I think if you look at it as fulfilling a ministry as unto the Lord you will enjoy a lot more romance that is if you look at it to have Romance there's a couple other verses that I just want to take you guys to since we're on this topic and one of them is uh Titus Chapter 2: 4 and 5 and it talks about

the role of women as Homemakers which I think is interesting that the scripture actually weighs in on this but I want to carefully look at it Titus 24 and5 it says uh speaking of the older women that they teach the younger women remember last week when I said hey ladies this is actually your job to teach to younger women these things um Well here's the passage that's from so Titus 2:4 that they admonished the young women to love their husbands to love their children to be discreet chased Homemakers good obedient to their own husbands that

the word of God may not be blasphemed now that word Homemakers is what I want to focus on it actually means workers at home like literally that's what the word means the atmology of IT workers at home um now I have heard this preached from this passage that women should not have a job outside the home but they should only work in the home and that you're failing somehow I don't think that's accurate I don't think you get that much out of this word but it does mean the bride should be working at home that

she should not abandon the the wife and mother responsibilities at home and just work outside the home and and maybe hire it out to somebody else or that sort of thing but rather there is a labor to be done at home now proverbs 31 has a woman who's described as I mean now guys don't expect your wife to be proverbs 31 right what does it start with like the the virtuous woman who can find her it's like good luck but it's still a wonderful thing we can learn from right and so you've got this woman

who works at home you know her children don't lack bread and this she takes care of her kids she takes care of her husband I like how he's known in the gates it says he's known in the gates I think it's like he gets there and he opens up his lunch bag and they're like you got what and he's known in the gates and um and she works at her home she makes sure her home is being cared for that the mom and wife role is happening in the home but she also with her money

she buys a field and she's like working has her own business she's running her own farming type business going on on the side so it's not like you can't have a job That's not I don't think the statement from scripture but it's rather just don't neglect the home we can get stressed out and we can abandon some of our home responsibilities because it's just easier to not think about it but um but so wives to be um Homemakers or workers at home I think is a a good thing good reminder and then 1 Timothy 58

this should be the last verse for tonight I want to take you guys to this is about about the guys speaking of men as providers does the bible weigh in on should guys be bringing in the bacon so to speak actually the Bible probably wouldn't tell you to bring the bacon in put it not in the Old Testament anyways so the husband is told um well said about a husband 1 Timothy 58 if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his own household he has denied the faith and is worse

than an unbeliever so uh woman's told you know this this homaker responsibility which doesn't mean she can't work outside the home as well but she doesn't neglect the responsibilities in the home and the husband is told he must provide and if he doesn't he's worse than an unbeliever that is a really strong statement being made there now it's possible that a man canot provide because of disability or certain things or situations that come up right but this is not about this is about a guy who simply does not he simply doesn't he's not taking care

I remember meeting a guy one time who uh We met I met him at the park crazy I mean he was literally crazy and he said that he believed that everything that we're seeing it was um an imagination we're all just having this sort of group dream and he says there's really only one person and it's everything and there's there's no you there's no me there's just I and the tree is I and the clouds are I and the sky is I and the the universe is just one being and we just we just don't

for we just forget about that and so I Tred to challenge him when I'm when I'm approaching someone who has like a really radical view I like to challenge them on it because people almost never live out their actual radical views they just say it as excuses to get away from responsibilities in my experience and that's what he did he told me about how he actually had a wife and two children at home and he's living on the street and so I I thought oh Lord give me wisdom I I want to help this guy

snap out of it you know so I said how do your wife and kids feel about your religious views and he didn't want to talk about that and I and I told him I said well in my worldview your wife and your children are real people that you need to go take care of but he was like well I'm trying to abandon all that I need and d d d and he he was just loopy he was just loopy but in in the end it allowed him to live a very lazy lifestyle where he just

kind of rode around his bike and told people about his imagination and stuff and didn't really do anything um to earn money he probably went and took handouts you know he doesn't mind taking their real money and spending it but he doesn't want to earn any of his own um very unfortunate very unfortunate but this this is the statement if a God if a Guy doesn't provide for his own if I'm not taking care of my home then I cannot make up for that by doing great stuff outside the home I need to take care

of the home I got to take care of my house I got to take care of my kids this doesn't mean they won't Rebel this doesn't mean my wife will treat me with in the way that I want her to it just means that I will I will fulfill my ministry as unto the Lord just to do my job and if you failed in this um you know and you're hearing this this message and you failed in any capacity in this whether it's in the room or if you're hearing it online there is no condemnation

for those who are in Christ Jesus okay it is a big deal but now the worst thing to do is to Despair and to just be trapped in it because you feel oh it's over I failed you tomorrow is still coming and tomorrow can be a different day than yesterday and that's why God always calls us to respond to the things he shows us and not to curl up in a ball and die he never says curl up and die no matter how many times you were told that in elementary school um all right well

let's pray father God I thank you so much for your word to husbands and wives it is a high calling and it is something that every one of us fails at to some extent so Lord we thank you for your grace because your grace and your mercy sustains us every day but we do pray this Lord help us to be better at this task at these jobs of honoring you of doing this ministry unto you Lord when we don't feel like it and when we've got ingrained behaviors that go against what your word tells us

Lord may We just do what you say we pray that you'd awaken our hearts to be husbands who are after you Lord and to be Brides wives who are after you may we glorify you in that Lord and may we bear the the fruit that comes from doing it your way we love you God and we thank you for your truth in Jesus name amen than you Lord for your son we will praise your name we will sing that Jesus Reigns we Willow