Sleep Training Tips for New Parents from Happiest Baby Dr. Harvey Karp

hi Ellie Karen hi everybody I'm Carolyn Richardson and I am here with dr. Harbor Park creator of the happiest baby on the black and the five edges who has now created uh our little baby it was five-year residency with this with this child yes Wow I have I haven't have been eating much more ladies like baby today we're going to talk about weak to compete is the expert on how to get your baby to sleep so it can be happy so you can speed up yes or no and then we're also going to talk about

school we'll do a little demonstration and talk about how to kind of create a routine netsupport sleep so then you know it's not a joke about meeting sleep to be happy because we all get more lonely and grouchy and even postpartum depression and anxiety are triggered by not getting enough and even overeating because you're eating pie let me talk and you're not exercising and yes and it changes your metabolism so that's hard to lose your baby weight to sleep is like pretty please okay so now so many of us know that right I can definitely

offensive that I have three children and I have definitely changed my routines with eating and clean since I had children maybe you can't try to go back can you talk about how you can create a new routine when you have a child whether it's toxic get it back exact the time it uses yeah well you gotta stop doing Facebook on social media I don't know what you know I'm here you have to you have to really be careful about how you manage your time because you have so much less of it what one would think

that's important for me to kind of communicate the idea that it's not it's really hard parenting today compared to 100 years ago I mean in some ways it's easier right you guys your plumbing and things like that but you used to have four or five people helping you write your grandma and your auntie yet in the same house and that takes a lot of pressure off of a parent and today it's like all on your shoulders and you have to work and you have other things to do and so it's really important and to make

sure that you're getting sleep that can kind of fall through the cracks right but you end up paying the price for it and you can't expect to be the parent you want to be when you're just running on tunes so maybe you can tell us about talk about expectations expectations for baby to sleep in expectations really from newborn to say three months term how much should you expect to sleep and how much baby equally thing at first everyone tells you do oh you're never going to sleep again the hardest thing that you ever did yes

and to be true but here's an interesting thing we use technology in every aspect of our lives or computers or smartphones and yet people now are talking about if you're these cardboard boxes put your baby in a cardboard box or maybe pop yeah does anything or even putting a baby in a bassinet I mean that's just flat and not moving where's the thing that people don't realize it inside before the baby's born there's constantly hoping it you're constantly rocking them with every breath you take your your your diaphragm is going down your baby's being rocked

and the sound inside is louder than a vacuum cleaner 24/7 yeah so to suddenly put a baby in a quiet room and a flat bed not moving yeah that makes seem right to you but it's sensory depriving to a baby they need the swallows they need to have motion babies and if you give them that suddenly the sleep gets a whole lot easier and so when you ask what's appropriate expectations well of course the baby needs to eat a lot in the beginning so they're going to be waking up every three hours or four hours

but they don't need to necessarily wake up every two hours of 9:00 okay you can you want to feed them a lot during the day you'll feed them every every hour and a half or two hours during the day tonight you're hoping for three or four hours stretch in the beginning and then eventually that goes to five and six and seven and what we've seen is that if you don't give babies the right sleep cues the right sound and motion and swaddling then it's much harder for them to organize their sleep and even by six

months of it should have half a babies not sleeping Jemmy waking up at night yeah and even by then so it doesn't happen automatically you have to guide your child into better sleep so home so when you say in the beginning so you're saying you bring baby home three days old and at night you can week that baby not eating three to four hours well the baby will tell you maybe will tell you if the baby's crying hey it's your job you better feed your baby right baby I'll help them right especially in three days

you're just establishing the nursing days or even the bottle of feeding yeah one second established after a week or two okay then you're seeing this sleep kind of start you know increasing a little bit but to be honest with you even the first days of life if you use the right cues and this is what we see with snood is that even in the first days of life you're starting to be able to see David go for three hours stretches even for our stretches that's well within the range of normal and then the baby's got

plenty of time during the day at this Calibre's I didn't keep them off well how much did mom expect asleep I mean they say we when the baby sleeps put them out or we mom without having any personal I know it's hard and that's why it's hard doing this on your own right without a member we think of this as being your own for some grandma you know or let your night nurse because you can put Jamie down and take a shower well my breakfast for you three-year-old we're getting a pure self so in general

if you look at the there a lot of studies on this mothers sleep on average about six hours a night which does not too bad until you realize it's six hours broken up into little tiny pieces and it's hard to get efficient sleep and so you end up feeling more and more tired they have to get and and like I was saying before it's not to fatigue it actually changes your mind studies show if you're getting six hours of sleep you have the same mental impairment that someone who's legally drunk you're making mistakes you're not

a safe driver you're forgetting things your brain just doesn't work as well and you get moody and more unhappy yeah and and so the reason I think that's important for people to recognize is what I call drunk parenting if I were to ask you would you ever bring your baby in bed with you or accidentally fall as think of your baby in bed with you if you were drunk yeah you probably hit I mean you say how why would even add yeah but when you're sleep-deprived you're the equivalences John yeah so mothers all it so

if I ask you do you ever go to bed with your baby and fall asleep with your baby in bed with you and your very tires you know what I mean that's my life I'm always very tired yeah and so it turns out that parents get confused is bed-sharing normal it is not normal it's a danger and if you have to baby right next to you in a bassinet or a snoo or Co sleep but whatever you choose you got the baby there so you can nurse the baby you can take care of the baby

you're not taking a risk that the baby thinks and that's it really important that's important so we we've got kind of what we can expect right how do we get other people to affect the routine of the baby and the mom in terms of sleep what are some ways that families husband even same as coming over to visit new baby no how do we set those boundaries so different people have different schedules and routines like if you have three kids and you have another baby or even you have two kids you have the third it's

not the same as when you had your first baby you have the luxury of making this a neat little schedule you know every two hours s MLR it doesn't work that way right you're running kids to school and grand us about me other thing your babies kind of sleeping on you wherever you're going and that's okay that's like you know that's a realistic but in general if you can kind of have a schedule where you're feeding your baby every couple of hours during the day and waking them up if you have to they get into

a better routine if you let them sleep as much as they want during the day they may sleep for hours during the day and then they're up every two hours at night right not as convenient that it up yeah but when it comes to having people come over to your house that you know a blessing or curse depends on the people but what I would recommend is that you do some grab yourself have a note on the door saying when you come in please wash your hands and put on a t-shirt I'd have a sack

of oversized t-shirts or people put that on as soon as they come through that way they don't damn germs germs are like it cook rice the Yankee and if you put a little cover shirt on then whatever germs you got on your shirt from hugging your six-year-old are not going to be transferred to the babies right so ladies you can get all your husband's all t-shirt mm-hmm put them in the front all of your people coffee breakfast and usually when you do that you sound like you're overprotective but you never had a better reason to

be overprotective than then caring for your on baby because in those first three makes three months or four months even for baby's immune system to get strong if they get sick in those first three or four months it's a it's a hard time the babies are uncomfortable sometimes that you can have to be hospitalized so it's worth being extra protective on the other hand you can go outside for walks can get fresh air yeah you can go to a restaurant if you want to the germs aren't going to leap on your baby it's contact it's

real opening the door and then you get the germs on your hands you're fighting an escalator you know handle so wash hands a lot stay away from groups of people where there might be costing you cracking things like that and then once you have people in the house yes also have a list of things that they can help you with cleaning the dishes helping to cook something chop the vegetables do the laundry asking a lot from people but this is the time to ask and then you'll pay them back when they have the baby right

yeah me and you know people like No thank you and they feel that they've given you something realistic this is a onesie for your baby here I gave you something that really was sincerely helpful and memorable remember and memorable I will be candid and say my first time around I didn't want any help I kicked people out of house I didn't let me revisit so when I hear my twin boys there years ago twin boys that's two it is two at the same time I literally had scheduled a day with certain people could come all

my church friends come on Thursday because Sunday afternoons was pretty convenient for big family could usually come on over on Friday so that's kind of a way that I allow people to always be open to coming over but then all those settings really strict rules about this is what we do when you come over this is how you can hell it's so hard and having first babies but believe me when the second one comes around you just have this freedom of knowing that you need a village run and then it becomes open Oh new mom

let people help you and lay it out write it out blend it up so that people really know what my mom had a saying she said don't be stupid Politis you know what I mean like say yes to everybody you have to be able to say no sometimes you have to say look I love you to come but I really need help can I kind of count on you yeah yeah and people just feel good about that okay so there's a controversial part of putting baby back what do you think about always having alternate time

or although parents putting the baby down and what would be the benefit of a what is what's the same well there's one that baby ends up getting attached to mom because mom always works debate around had her weight losing baby whereas dad does and so time and this is just an assumption that I do not want to put you guys out of here the one putting baby down please excuse me but the general thing is one parent usually excluding baby now most of the time you're so they get attached so that routine I mean apparent

now feels obligated ecology there and with things which been successfully changes yeah well you know you know what that reminds me of an interesting thing it comes to breastfeeding and giving bottles yeah because in those first couple of weeks when you're establishing breastfeeding you don't really want to get problems because it can confuse the baby kind of stuff but after three weeks or certainly but four weeks for sure but really after two to three weeks I would start about once a day you want to give it yeah for the very reason you're talking about what

if mom gets got too sick where she's got a travel or she's not available you don't want a baby not having the ability to take a bottle yeah and and sometimes do you wait for five weeks they refuse they just don't know what it is and they want to take it and so the same thing with having different people hold your baby there's no question the biggest time get it had more attached to the mother anyway right the nursing the closeness is just the way it could work so cool babies are like and later on

XD back nine because once once the child get to be 18 months to two years sometimes apprecia Molly away the only ones that okay so if anything I'm trying to tie in that II would associate me breakfast that my daughter for two years and we did not give her a bottle after this barbecue week and you were lucky you got she even took at that and I mean if that's what you didn't even need it we were getting to the point where a big about a girl yes you have little city but you look are

it's so hard baby doesn't take a bottle but it's beautiful but well you know what is a good dinner yes is another business into this online payment which is before you have the business before you had a baby speak to your doctor to check if you have flat or inverted nipples if you're going to be breastfeeding okay because once your breath still with milk if you have a short or flat or inverted nipple it's going to get even shorter hard for the baby to latch on and so you can do things to help you elongate

the nipple before you're born or to prepare for things to help the baby recipe so you don't discover that in the hospital then you have all sorts of problems getting the baby on the breast very interesting so but in terms of in terms of setting up the routine when you're hoping is that the baby gets used to flexible enough to be able to be put down by anybody but here's another helpful pet which is people tell you don't always rock your baby to sleep don't always nurse your baby to sleep because they don't know how

to fall asleep without that yeah but you can't not nurse your baby to sleep or not rock your baby asleep if fall asleep in your arms what are you going to do you can't keep waking them up and it's the most beautiful thing you ever do with your baby it's a limb fall asleep at the breast but if you do that and then you slide I didn't know that's a net then when they wake up in the middle of the night they don't know how to put themselves completely right so what are you supposed to

do super easy the answer is something that I call wake and sleep okay so let the baby fall asleep in your arms or at the breast then you ease into that event and then you wake them up in a bed in the bed you wait to take me waste a moment I know people attorney you're focusing all across America so what happens with that it's your babies drunk from the milk already debated since said the baby satisfy the baby swallow then you got the white noise planning okay so even the baby fusses you can jiggle

the bed a little bit put the baby back to sleep and in that 10 seconds they're learning to fall asleep without a breast in the mouth and without being a and that how they start learning for social okay wait they examiner to the minute we never wake a sleeping baby and the truth is you always wake incidentally when you put them down and that gives them an opportunity to learn something new which is how to fall asleep because that's another myth people say when is the baby sleeps through the night again yes that's a big

question okay some people say six months some people say eight months when it never never they never sleep there's a child he never speaks of the night and Adele never speaks to it I mean we all wake up two three four times a night now you may not remember it unless when you wake up something's wrong like it kills them for or you smell skulls or something like that then you're going to remember you're going to wake up all the way but if everything's copasetic your eyes are going to close you want to remember waking

up does the same thing with babies they're going to wake up three four times at night but if they wake up and the world is pretty much the same now if it's totally different and when I fell to sleep there with the breast in my mouth and now there's nothing to you I'm all by myself then they're going to wake up all the way but one of the things it's one of the benefits are snoo when they wake up there's still got the motion they still got the sound they're still closely snugly in bed that

helps them fall asleep better and that's why we see even in the first weeks of life baby sleep an extra hour even two hours and and by the time they're two two and a half months of base or complete seven eight nine hours in a row which was never possible before here's the thing you go yes I'm praying to God or you know that sounds too good to be true it does it really does back to fire but let me ask you a question if grandma were there all night long holding and rocking your baby

and when the baby got upset she rocked in just a little bit more would you believe that grandma could help the baby this is like your to do your little you know automatic grandma but seriously when the baby stage of learning machine they don't know how to suck at the breast or even an evolving personality but after a week or ten days they just see you open you bar and they know I'm ready they recognize it same thing with the bed once they get used to the motion and the sound so really used to before

they're born they wake up they go all everything's cool this is okay and they fall back asleep more but mothers will tell you and this is a controversy like on the internet stuff like that but aren't I ignoring my baby shouldn't I be there every second should I be holding my baby all through the night yeah the answer is no you shouldn't be if you're hoping baby all night long the baby's gonna fall asleep in bed with you it's going to be a dangerous and every normal family always had your older daughter your cousin your

mom older sister holding and rocking that baby so it's normal for you to have somebody else to help you and if you don't have somebody else then you have something else that helps you are you a bad mother if you use a swing no but we can't let babies sleep in swings anymore because it's a heads go fo that trouble breathing so this is now the safest baby better it's not only the most effective and promoting sleep and reducing crime because it will rock the baby when the baby cries and helps the baby to fall

asleep faster but it's also the safest baby dead ever made because of the special police pack that keeps babies safely swaddled and prevents them from rolling over and it's also the safest bed because it's a swing that's a flat swing so they can be rocking without the risk of their head going forward like that can happen with them up with our rocking play or swingers and how long can we keep baby innocent what's new is built to be as big as a nine-month-old 90th percentile boy but since it's a kind of a bassinet type product

it's really only recommended for the first six months or so the good thing about snoo is that just a baby secured to the bed they can't roll over that they also can't climb out of it and so you know that you did with your five or six months though that they're not going to accidentally fall out which is important but you know it's a really good question and another question I get all the time has to do with the head judge you know like it is no jiggly thing is that's too shaken baby syndrome right

that Jim sure baby but imagine what your baby's head is doing when you're in an exit when you're pregnant and you're in an exercise class or when you're or when you're hiking up and down the hill or you're hustling up and down the stairs to be able to you know go someplace can't your baby inside the head is gone up and down like that so and in a car ride your baby's head is jiggling like that and so when the bed was quickly existing urban inch backing sports that's very very thick for a baby good

I said an athlete hmm okay it's a little part so how can parents are interested in going from you get it get a little ease on the price well a couple of things I mean obviously we just came out with this so it looks like with your iPhone you know it's gonna be worth as it comes out and once again you know be able to bring down the price of manufacturing it will be able to have the price to find it yeah we're already starting a program where we can rent these actually in Santa Monica

so we're trying to help people out that way okay but I want to say one thing about price so because it people Abdallah bassinet there's like ridiculous and it would be if it were thousand-dollar bassinet but it's definitely this looks like a bassinet but it anyway like I said this is your own personal night nurse yeah and a thousand dollars over six months that he's equivalent to six dollars a day for the first six months so you can either blow six dollars a day on coffee and Red Bull but you're so tired but it's like

then that's normal but for the same price you get the safest most effective baby bed me and you know what it's that it's even three dollars a day to use it with your second baby or sell it when you're done with it right and so three dollars a day for six months that's it everyone can afford that but it's not out of the reach of most people and it's not just the bed either it's a bed it's a face its wing it's a most sophisticated white noise machine it's three organic swabs and the sheet it's

an extra hour to sleep at night it's peace of mind your baby can't roll when I take position yeah and it's your 24-hour night nurse so I mean for six bucks a day that's that's not bad okay I miss my apartment all of those are names individual quick mini pounds over there look good okay you have been with Carolyn Richardson at La panics and dr. Harvey Karp of happy baby we also want to cue you in we are doing a giveaway for a happy and based on the bluff and happiest title on the block you're

going to get the whole bundle of DVDs books and all the things you need to help your baby sleep the snow isn't included in the giveaway which you can buy business and you know the toddler stuff starts at eight or nine months of age so earlier than people can but it does the same kind of magic that the happy baby does that doing some simple things can reduce temper tantrums and help your child be more emotionally balanced and healthy yes yes surely alright thank you guys for watching bye bye now hi everybody I'm dr. carbs

and this is our newest news it's the safest most effective baby bed ever made it's a bed that can increase your baby sleep reduce crying and help train your baby to be a better speaker in the first weeks of life even so the way it works is that you press the button and that starts it and it moves it rocks back and forth and makes white noise to imitate the baby's experience in the womb those of you who are into the happiest day be on the block about the 5s is and the concept there is

that babies need a fourth trimester baby horses can run the first day of life but our babies are really immature by comparison and they need lots of holding and rock and trician and when you do it all night long the way they had it in the womb they're able to sleep better and be calmer and so this is going back and forth and it's making sound inside as well underneath here is a microphone that's making white noise sound and that will continue all night long kind of like your grandma rocking the baby and trician the

baby all night but then there are microphones all around the baby's head and if the baby cries those microphones detect when they when the baby is crying also you can make the dead move up by just pressing on the button for five seconds and you'll see it's not going at a faster speed and making a little bit louder sound that's meant to imitate what you would do when you're holding the baby asleep your rocking back and forth and shushing gently but if the baby gets upset you start being a little bit more bouncing and shushing

a little bit louder and if the baby gets really upset you're bouncing even more chasing louder and that baby gets even more upset then you just stop everything you go this baby needs to eat and that's the same exact thing with snow it'll go up five different levels to where it was just a quarter of an inch back and forth kind of like you driving with your baby on a bumpy road and the babies in the back of the car and for many babies that's the type of sound in motion you need to turn on

the calming reflex and then once the baby comes down it goes down little by little by little back down to the lowest level and if the baby doesn't calm down after a couple of minutes the better stops because then the bed knows that the baby is hungry or needs a diaper change needs you means the house needs a holding and so that's your signal that that is your turns so this is not a magic bed you don't put them in they sleep eight hours or something like that but it gives you an extra half hour

here and there maybe an extra hour two hours of sleep and you usually by two two and a half months we're seeing babies go six seven eight nine hours out of stretch at night which is really helpful for the baby to be able to get into that healthy sleep pattern we know from studies that that reduces a baby's risk of obesity of 1 year of age for example and then of course it helps you because it allows you to get the sleep that you need to feel rested and to be the parent that you want

to be during the day [Music]