They thought we were hookers. [laughter] Am I turning you on, Emma? Yeah.
See something sagging, dragging, and bagging, I go get it fixed. I I think you should. Ollie Parton wasn't just one of the biggest stars in [music] country music.
She was also one of the quickest people to put an interviewer in their place. The question is, if you could tell teenagers of America today one thing, whether it be advice or something of support, what would it be? I would say act like it's raining every day and wear your rubbers.
[laughter] and somehow turn even the most ordinary interview question into something the audience would never forget. 17 Johnny Cash was my first encounter with what I thought appeal was feeling really drawn to someone. I mean, I saw him on stage and I just felt things that I'd never felt before.
Right. I did cuz he had that funny way, you know, like how Elvis did. I didn't know what the all the feelings were, but I something special, something different about people.
Well, like yourself as well. You know, you you you you see it immediately. There's a magnetism or something.
Oh, am I turning you on? Am I? From jokes about her appearance.
Best worst and least dressed list of 2000. I'm in that, you know, of all time. The worst dressed of all time.
It said swear. Are you really? I swear.
The worst dressed of all time. Yeah. See, there it is.
But anyway, they said I was one of the worst dressed. I know. You know why you came?
That's all right with me. I have a good time. I bet I'm happier than that guy that wrote that.
And I'm glad that he came out of his closet long enough to look in mine [laughter] to stories about getting thrown out of a New York hotel. And so we checked in a hotel and we've been friends since we were little. So we just got one room.
And of course I look cheaper then than I even do now. But anyway, and Judy didn't look any better. So, we checked in this hotel and uh they thought we were hookers.
[laughter] So, we went out looking around in uh in in the city and we come back to our room and they had our luggage out in the hall and they had us locked out cuz they thought we were turning tricks up there. So, they they they management threw your luggage out of the room. Dolly Parton had a way of making every interview feel like she was talking to an old friend.
And these are the moments we celebrate her by. Being a girl, you know, I've always been proud of uh that I was female. I mean, it's a good thing I was born a woman or I'd have been a drag queen.
[laughter] It's true. I would. And the funniest part wasn't always what Dolly said.
Sometimes it was the reaction of the person sitting across from her. She knew exactly what people were curious about, and she was happiest joking about it herself. Hello there.
Let me help you. Uh, okay. wear my double breasted suit.
Yeah, I swear I was I was just I was wasn't even thinking that and the whole audience is like, "Well, that's all right. I'll have fun with him, too. " I'm I'm shocked when Why not?
Her appearance was always part of the act, and she was always in on the joke. You look fantastic. I I saw you uh for the first time just about two hours ago.
You came in to do the rehearsal, and everybody here was like, "Oh my god, she looks great. You look fantastic. " Thank you very much.
What is the Is there a uh But when Conan O'Brien asked one innocent question about her beauty routine, he ended up hearing a story about Tom Jones front lawn that he never recovered from. [applause] That's always good to hear from a woman my age. Well, do you have a do you have a secret?
I mean, some some women claim to have a secret. They Yeah, good doctors. Good makeup.
Good makeup. No, actually, I I just try to take care of myself. I see something sagging and dragging and baggging, I go get it fixed.
I I think you should if you you know, if you got the nerve, if you got a There are a lot of people who are afraid to admit that they've had anything done. Oh, I'll tell everything. Yeah.
Instead, the conversation somehow ended with Dolly joking about streaking across Tom [music] Jones property. And once Dolly starts a story like that, Conan barely has to do anything. [music] I said, "This is Tom Jones house.
" And they said, "Well, let's go over there. " And I said, "Oh, we can't go in the yard. you know, they must have security and they dared me to streak through the yard because that was back when everybody was streaking and they kept daring me and doubled dog dared me and I just couldn't take it.
So, I just stripped down and ran across the yard and jumped back in the car and put my clothes on and I don't think he saw me [laughter] but if he did I didn't impress him much. Well, yeah. Anyway, so then he's dead.
[laughter] Yeah. Naked Dolly Parton. Whatever.
I'm watching. It was just fun. Her stories about her early career are funny because she told them with absolutely no embarrassment.
The best example, her first trip to New York. I was country girl from the mountains. I had a gun in my purse.
What? And so, wait a minute. I love how you just throw that in there.
Well, of course I had a gun. Well, we came to New York. That was back then.
And you're not country girl's not going to. So, you had a gun in your purse. I had a gun in my purse.
And this guy wouldn't leave me alone cuz he was just sure I was playing hard to get and that I was really after it, right? Or he he definitely was after it. So, I didn't know how to get him off me.
So, I just said I just pulled my gun out and I just said, "If you touch me one more time, I'm going to shoot you. " And so, he backed off. Well, actually, he did laugh and my friend Judy started laughing because she thought it's the funniest thing she'd ever seen.
And so, then he thought it was a joke. Anyway, it's a long story. When people in New York pull a gun, they don't of it doesn't usually end up in giggling, you know.
I know. Anyway, this is such a This is not the story [laughter] I expected from you. They even used that line in 9 to5 when I said I'll turn you from a rooster to a hen with one shot.
Yeah. Yeah. You that was from you.
You had Well, I think they based it on that story that I told so it doesn't matter. But I love New York now. I've been coming here.
[cheering] [applause] The fact that she could tell this story decades later and still laugh at herself made it even better. Most interviews involve one person asking and one person answering. CMT decided to switch things up.
Hi there. This is Dolly Parton and this is my wonderful, beautiful, incredibly talented, lovely Rachel. Did you write these?
Who me? Dolly and her sister Rachel interviewed each other. And very quickly, it became clear neither of them had been trained for the job, which is exactly why it works.
Less a polished interview, more two sisters [music] figuring out what to ask each other. Who is the better cook and why is it me? [music] Uh, it's me [laughter] because I follow the recipe.
It's true. It is you. Rachel is the kind She'll clean up right after herself.
I'm [laughter] just the kind of person that if I've had a good party the night before, I'll leave them dishes till the morning. Not Rachel. She explained this one countless times over the years, and it never stopped being entertaining.
While writing 9 to5, she realized her long fingernails could recreate the sound of a typewriter. So, she used her nails as an instrument and she could still demonstrate it on command. And I even I even recorded my nails on it and it says nails by Dolly.
Can you tell that my microphone is right here? [laughter] Where's your microphone? But two of television's most feared interviewers, Johnny Carson and Barbara Walters, were about to learn the same lesson.
You did not walk into Dolly Parton's territory and win. I tell you what, these are my I have certain guidelines on I usually But I would give about a year's pay to peek under there. And Dolly's reaction was exactly what you'd expect, that unmistakable laugh and a better comeback than his joke.
Nothing rattled her ever. Barbara Walters was famous for extremely direct questions [music] and her Dolly interview was no exception. Dolly, where I come from, would I have called you a hillbilly?
If you had have, it would have been something very natural, but I would have probably kicked your shins or something. [laughter] No, actually, but when I think of hillbillies, am I thinking of your kind of people? I think you probably are.
Uh, the people that grew up where I was were the ones that you would consider the little Abner people. Dolly didn't get defensive. She turned the whole conversation into a fairy tale.
My assistant asked me something and I'm going to blame it on her because I wouldn't have had the nerve otherwise. Is it all you? [laughter] Well, I can't show you here on television.
I'll take your word for it. I get asked that question. I always answer that by because people are in awe of the whole thing.
You know, a lot of people say I have. A lot of people say I have. I always say that if I hadn't have had it on my own, I'm just the kind of person that would have had me some made if I hadn't needed it.
Would you mind standing up? We saw you on stage in all the filming. You know, I'm not all that curvy in this.
It's not bad. That's her idea of not all that curvy. You don't have to look like this.
You're very beautiful. You don't have to wear the blonde wigs. You don't have to wear the extreme clothes, right?
No, it's a it's certainly a choice. I don't like to be like everybody else. I've often made this statement that I would never stoop so low as to be fashionable.
That's the easiest thing in the world to do. So, I just decided that I would do something that would at least get the attention once they got past the shock. Dolly being so effortlessly witty that the most feared interviewer on television ended up looking like she'd walked into Dolly's territory.
Dolly heard every joke imaginable about her appearance. But even she couldn't have predicted that the world's most famous cloned animal would be named after her. This should be an attraction at Dollywood.
Do you have a little dolly on display there? Because you know, we tried to get that dolly. That's that clone sheep that they actually named after me.
That's right. Tell everybody why. Well, because the scientists that were doing the cloning, they used the uh memory glands.
Mhm. And you know that's these glands. Yes.
For those of you that don't know. And so this scientist truly said, you know who better known for memory glands than Dolly? We got to call this sheep Dolly.
Seriously. Now, did they call and ask you question? No, they didn't have to ask me cuz I guess you can name it any, you know, Dolly is a a name, right?
Right. But anyway, that's true. You know, she had an anniversary last week.
She did. Did you send her a little gift? No.
And Dolly Parton being Dolly Parton did not shy away from the obvious joke, which brings us to the list we promised you at the start. David Letterman, 10 pet peeves and a number one that destroyed the entire studio. Accountants who don't understand how much it cost to make me look this chick.
Yes. At number nine. Playing guitar with 3-in fingernails.
Her hair being declared a fire hazard. Something she called rhinestone rash. Trying to play guitar in these 5-in fingernails.
They're great. When are we going to have them on the show, Paul? A 5-in fingernails.
I'm telling you, that's my favorite new band. Make that booking if you can. And then number one, the number one Dolly Parton pet peeve.
Nobody notices I've got a great ass, too. The way she read that whole list, dead serious, and then casually dropped the final line. That was Dolly Parton.
Nobody ever outtalked her and nobody ever will. Carl was so funny though. He got a big kick out of that, but he thought it was funny.
He said, "Uh, well, I'm I'm not going to do a threesome, but I can maybe do a two and a half. It is Jennifer. " [laughter] Whatever Whatever that means, Dolly, this is just the only human that can say that.
Give her a microphone, an interviewer, and one slightly unusual question, and [music] she'd turn the whole conversation into a story you'd remember for years. Dolly, how long does it take for you to do your hair? I wouldn't know.
I'm never there. Her sense of humor was every bit as memorable as her music. She was never afraid to laugh at herself, and she always had a better joke than anyone expected.
Which Dolly Parton moment made you smile the most? Share it in the comments below. Today, every one of them deserves to be told.
