They want it both ways. You know, you can't be uh these people were so mean to us and and poor us and we don't want all this attention and then let me let me write a book about how much we don't want attention. >> Turns out Prince Harry and Megan Markle will still get paid millions of dollars [music] for doing absolutely nothing.
>> If you came up with the picture of an annoying, insufferable white woman, it would be Meghan Markle, even though she's not white. Yeah, they were very worried about their safety, which I get that aspect to things after six episodes. I wanted to attack them.
[laughter] >> Meghan Markle has finally revealed why she and Prince Harry call each other M and H. >> And he'll say M and you'll say H and your friends say M and it just is a thing. >> It's a thing.
And do you both love it? >> Yes. And I like nicknames a lot.
>> What could it be? A mystery for the ages. I had no idea how racist they were.
It's the royal family. They're the original racists. >> Bill Maher just exposed Harry and Megan's core contradiction on live TV.
They claim they want privacy, but they're writing books and making documentaries about not wanting attention. You just can't have it both ways. He also delivered a brutal reality check about their privilege that was impossible to argue with.
>> You're complaining about your hard life and you're so privileged. It's just so weird. >> It's ridiculous.
I totally agree. They're millionaires living in mansions complaining about hardship. Most people would trade places with them instantly, yet they're somehow framing themselves as victims.
But Bill didn't even stop there. He also called out their generational fragility compared to Queen Elizabeth. >> They just strike me as creatures of that generation.
You know, you're just fragile. Just take a take a hint from the Queen, >> the recently departed. >> Never complain, never explain, and rarely be heard speaking in public.
>> That comparison to the Queen is devastating. She endured 70 years of scrutiny without one public complaint. While Harry and Megan can't go 6 months without another interview about their struggles.
That's the difference between real dignity and performative victimhood. But where Bill Maher attacked their hypocrisy, other comedians zeroed in on their rapid and humiliating loss of status. Trevor Noah perfectly captured the moment Harry went from being a prince to just another Hollywood hustler.
>> Prince Harry really did that. At a movie premiere last year, he asked the CEO of Disney to hook his wife up with voiceovers. >> This is just painful.
A prince of the realm is reduced to a low-level agent pitching his wife for sealless voiceover work at a movie premiere. It's not just tacky. It exposes their entire financial freedom plan for what it was, a hustle.
>> You got to admit, the monarchy has fallen off, right? No, cuz back in the day, it used to be like, "If you marry my daughter, I'll give you burgundy. " And now it's like, "My wife actually does a pretty good Timone.
" You should hear her. Come on, baby. Do the thing.
Hakuna Hakuna Mata, do the thing. [laughter] >> Trevor just hammers home the sheer scale of this downgrade. He contrasts the power of the old monarchy, which was once a global force negotiating for entire countries with Harry's pathetic new reality of begging for cartoon gigs.
It's the perfect summary of his fall [music] from grace. >> This is what happens when you bring the first black woman into the royal family. She looked at Harry and she's like, "Nigga, you need to get a job.
You a grown ass man. You can't still BE LIVING IN YOUR MAMA'S HOUSE, HARRY. " [laughter] >> And this joke lands the final blow, exposing the new power dynamic in their marriage.
He's not a partner. He's the unemployed boyfriend. his wife has to force to get a job because Daddy Charles cut him off and the money's running out.
It completely shatters any image of him as a leader of his family. But Trevor wasn't the only one tearing them apart. Chris Rock went even harder targeting Megan's biggest weapon, her racism narrative.
And coming from one of the most respected black voices in comedy, his takedown carried weight that white comedians simply couldn't match. >> Gone on Oprah. I didn't know.
I had no idea how racist they were. IT'S THE ROYAL FAMILY. YOU DIDN'T Google these mother.
Megan went to Northwestern, had years navigating Hollywood, and had unlimited internet access. The idea that she didn't research the most famous family in the world before marrying into it is insulting. She's either lying about her ignorance or genuinely that reckless.
>> What the she talking about? She didn't know the is the ROYAL FAMILY. THEY'RE THE ORIGINAL RACIST.
>> The royal family's racist history isn't hidden. It's in every history book. Their empire was built on colonialism and exploitation.
Acting shocked about discovering racism in the British Empire is like being surprised water is wet. >> That's like marrying into the Budweiser family and going they drink a lot. This mother invested in slavery like IT WAS SHARK TANK.
>> Marrying into the Budweiser family and then being shocked they drink beer would be absurd. That's exactly what Megan did by marrying into an empire built on colonialism and then acting stunned on Oprah that they might have racial issues. The fake surprise is obvious.
>> They're so racist. This is so racist. Some of that [ __ ] she went through was not racism.
It was just some in-law [ __ ] >> Not every uncomfortable moment in a family is about race. Sometimes it's just regular in-law tension that every marriage navigates. [music] Megan's framing everything through a racial lens removes nuance and makes honest conversations impossible.
>> They're so racist. They wanted to know how brown the baby's going to be. I'm like, that's not racist.
Cuz even black people want to know how BROWN THE BABY GOING TO BE. [ __ ] >> WHEN CHRIS Rock says even black families want to know how their babies will look, he removes the racism card completely. It's normal curiosity about genetics, not prejudice.
That was her smoking gun proof of racism and Chris just dismantled it. After these reality checks from black comedians, SNL decided to mock the royal family dynamics. They started by mocking Prince William's receding hairline, but quickly shifted their focus to Megan's failed acting career.
>> Michael, we like to apologize. Unfortunately, William's hair was unable to make it this evening. [laughter] >> Come on, just shave it, Wills.
>> Okay, just shut up about the hair. What hair? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I made him mad. I made him mad.
I love you. >> William's hair loss has become such an easy target that SNL dedicates entire segments to it. But the real story isn't his hairline.
It's how forgettable Megan's acting career actually was before she married into royalty. My brother's fiance, Miss Meghan Markle, is on the American program Suits. >> Yes.
Wednesdays 8:00 PM USA Network. >> The only difference between that show and this is people watch this one. >> Suits was a USA Network cable drama that averaged around 1 to 2 million viewers per episode.
For context, that's less than half of what basic network procedurals pull. Megan was a supporting character on a show most Americans never heard of until she married Harry. >> Whenever the kids are being fussy and not going to bed, she puts on an episode of Suits and they're out.
No. [laughter] >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? STOP IT.
>> Stop it. >> Suits ran for nine seasons and barely anyone remembers it. The show was so forgettable that its only cultural relevance now is being the punchline to jokes about Megan's acting career.
Without Harry, she'd still be doing minor guest appearances on random TV dramas nobody watches. Meanwhile, British comedian Simon Broadkin went viral for his take on their Netflix documentary. >> I watched the Harry and Megan Netflix documentary.
Now, I'll be honest with you. Before I watched it, I was not a fan of theirs, but now I've actually heard their side of the story. I hate them.
>> Simon watched six episodes of their documentary, hoping to understand their perspective and came away despising them more than before. That's not a bias problem. That's a them problem.
Their own content is turning potential supporters into critics. >> They started off and they're making interesting points about racism and misogyny. Then they start calling each other H and M.
and I just thought, "Oh, do off. " >> They open the documentary discussing serious issues like racism and misogyny, then immediately undermine themselves by revealing they call each other H and M like they're a corporate merger. You can't position yourself as serious advocates while treating your relationship like a lifestyle brand.
Harry starts describing this one date with Megan as the night. Let me quote you here. Me and M pulled the pin on a fun grenade.
I actually started rooting for Prince Andrew. Harry's memoir, Spare, was supposed to be his chance to tell his story with dignity. Instead, he filled it with cringe-worthy attempts at poetic language that made him look foolish.
The fun grenade line became infamous for all the wrong reasons. Harry says, "How do you explain to someone who you've just started dating that they have to curtsy to your own grandmother? " >> How do you explain that you bow to your grandmother and that and that you will need to curtsy, especially to an American?
Like, that's weird. >> And I'm thinking, maybe just tell her that your grandmother is theing queen. Megan went to Northwestern University, one of the top schools in America.
She's not stupid. Yet, Harry acted like explaining that his grandmother is the Queen of England was some impossible communication challenge. It's literally the most famous grandmother in the world.
The British comedy scene continued piling on. British comedian Jimmy Carr had his own observations about their contradictions. >> I said Megan Markle is of course a lifelong feminist, which she's demonstrated by marrying a prince and giving up her job.
[laughter] >> Megan built her pre-royal brand around feminist empowerment and independence. Then she married into wealth, gave up her career, and became financially dependent on a man whose only job qualification is being born royal. The feminist credentials evaporated overnight.
>> The royal family, right, if you can imagine, they're like our Kardashian. Prince Harry is very much our Kanye. He occasionally dresses as a Nazi and heed up.
>> Both Harry and Kanye had stabilized with clear purposes, then made increasingly erratic decisions that alienated everyone around them. The Nazi costume is just one example of Harry's long history of poor judgment that keeps resurfacing. Harry and Megan say they'd now like to split their time between spending your money in the UK and spending your money in Canada.
>> They want to split time between the UK and Canada, expecting taxpayers in both countries to fund their security while they profit from attacking those same institutions. That's not seeking independence, that's just being expensive. Even Ricky Der shared a story about their entitlement.
>> Once at a gig at the back was Harry and William, Madonna and Paul McCartney. Not one of them paid. >> [laughter] >> Ricky had Harry and William at his show and apparently neither of them paid for tickets.
They just expect free entry everywhere because they're royalty. It's kind of unbelievable that even William would do something like this, but the entitlement is clearly bred into both of them. While comedians were tearing them apart with words, British satire show Spitting Image used puppets to expose the lifestyle everyone suspects they're living.
>> I'm here to tell my truth and make a [ __ ] ton of money out of podcasting as I don't have any discernable talent. Harry's entire postroyal career has been talking about himself through podcasts, documentaries, and interviews. He has no actual skills or business ventures, just platforms where he complains about his life.
That's not building a career. That's monetizing victimhood. >> Harry, you're such a moderate achiever.
How do you stay at the top of the middle of your game? >> An early start's important, so my butler Perkins gets up at 5:00 a. m.
and does a 10K for me. >> They preach about wellness and hard work, but reports from insiders suggests staff handle most of the actual work while they maintain the public image for cameras. Then when he gets in, he wakes me up and Googles to see if I'm still fifth in line to the throne.
>> Fifth in line? >> Yeah. If Kate wills have any more kids, I'll move down another notch.
>> Harry's still checking where he ranks in the Royal Succession despite claiming he wanted freedom from all that. He can't let go of the institution even after publicly trashing it for years. >> What about the kids?
>> They need to be washed, fed, read to. Yeah, it's a lot for Perkins to do. And he briefs them daily on what we're up to.
>> They present themselves as deeply involved parents in interviews and stage photos. But insider reports suggest nannies and staff handle most of the child care while Harry and Megan appear for the cameras. It's Parenthood as a PR strategy.
>> What about television? Do you have a Netflix account? >> Yeah, it's got about $9 million in it.
>> Mama lad. >> Netflix reportedly paid them around $100 million for content. In return, they produced one self-focused documentary and have delivered virtually nothing since.
The payment to output ratio is embarrassingly lopsided. But perhaps the most telling story came from Alexander Dario, who encountered Megan in regular life. Is this true that your Is this true?
Meghan Markle has ruined your workout regime. Is this true? If so, how?
>> Yes, she has. >> In how? >> James Gordon appeared genuinely puzzled about how someone could possibly ruin another person's gym routine just by showing up.
>> Well, she came into New York uh last weekend and she went to a yoga place called Moto Yoga, >> which is my yoga place. It's where I always go. >> Megan visited a small yoga studio in New York that Alexander had been using for years as her personal space.
They have places in LA and New York. But now that she went there, everyone's going to want to go there and there's not going to be any room. It's going to be harder to get into.
>> One celebrity visit created chaos that made the studio inaccessible for regular members. Megan knows her presence disrupts normal spaces, but went anyway. The lack of consideration is the problem.
What we've witnessed is complete industry consensus. Bill Maher exposed their contradictions. Trevor Noah showed Harry's fall from Prince to Hollywood hustler.
Chris Rock dismantled Megan's racism narrative. SNL, stand-up comedians, and even puppets all reach the same conclusion independently. They're products of generational fragility, complaining from extraordinary privilege while contributing nothing.
When every comedian from every platform agrees, maybe the problem isn't everyone else. Do you agree with Bill Maher's assessment? Will Harry and Megan ever change?
Let us know in the comments below and subscribe for more royal drama.
