welcome to Blue Man Group the movie AKA Avatar a movie that is almost 3 hours long so to shorten this video up a bit Humanity sucks in the future no surprise on that just drag and drop your favorite futuristic dystopian World from I don't know something like Blade Runner and that's what planet earth looks like here and there's this other earth like planet called Pandora with a very popular Ser go team onor called na'vi hold up wrong na'vi these na'vi are actually like blue tall humanoid people with four fingers on each hand and a ponytail
with an ethernet cable built into it to allow them to parir bond or like intertwine themselves with other animals or beings that have these same ethernet cables and feel what they're feeling and that type ofra and this Pandora is very rich in a resource that is very valuable for humans and hard to obtain that they dubbed unobtainium very imaginative naming on the humans part now the atmosphere on Pandora is only be the built for 20 seconds for humans and they are dead in 4 minutes but they went regardless to mind the [ __ ] out
of this Unum crap at a huge cost to the na'vi people cuz lots of it lays on very sacred sites for them that cannot be replaced or bed for anything else one of them is home tree this big ass tree that they all live in that sits on the biggest deposit of un obtaining that the humans have found so far and the other one is way more important called Spirit tree or some [ __ ] that I don't think sits on any valuable resources for humans but is important to na'vi nevertheless and basically this is
the classic human trait scenario of colonization because you have [ __ ] I want yink get mine now screw you and your land that type of [ __ ] now onto the characters Jake Sully some random Marine that got in the spine is now bound to a wheelchair forever cuz he can't afford the surgery to fix his leggies and he has a scientist brother that some science people made a na'vi avatar body for out of his DNA so he could go Netflix and chill with the na'vi people on Pandora then we got a professor her
name is Grace and she's the lead scientist on Pandora loves na'vi people studies them and knows everything about them and has her own avatar to try and find a diplomatic way to move them off the big tree so they can take the UN tum Scarface guy no relation to the movie he's just the guy in charge of the military stuff on Pandora and wants to remove the Nai people by whatever means necessary AKA with Force punchable face guy he's the boss of the whole operation on Pandora the boss of Scarface and Grace that's enough for
the humans now for the na'vi people the singular one that I'm going to point out TC way or something I'll remember her name later don't worry about this lady has a dad and that Dad is a leader of the biggest kabi clan and her mom is the spiritual leader of the people interprets the will of AWA their deity like the soul of their planet and [ __ ] and she said to marry this guy who was supposed to take the place of her dad as leader of the clan she's supposed to take the place of
her mom as leader of the clan but spiritually now that's enough of the board let's go movie Jake is approached by two official dudes after getting kicked out of a bar for fighting showing us another example of people who can't hear the footsteps coming towards them until they're directly in front of their face but whatever they tell him that his bro got stabed to death and he can take his place in this project of his Creer stuff because the Avatar they made for him that is really expensive is Clos to his brother's DNA and he
has the same DNA so it'll work because they match and he can step into his shoes so to speak Jesus what's your words around the wheelbarrow man anyway he'll be conversating nicely obviously so he agrees and they fly him out to Pandora where everyone's so surprised by how much he looks like his brother like wow look just like him yes tends to happen a lot with [ __ ] twins are you not familiar with the concept you're a scientist Norm Norm's another scientist they made an avatar body for so soly means Professor Grace the head
scientist dude and she's mad he's here and not his scientist brother and he's like he's dead sorry for the inconvenience [ __ ] so she goes to no punchable face guy about this and he's like suck it up [ __ ] is what we got and puts all on protection Duty for the scientist team and presses her to improve the relations with the na'vi people that he ruined by being a dick the nerve nothing does this whole bit about how anap penum pays for this whole party which she undoubtedly already knows but he's only saying
this for movie Exposition then they put Jake and Norman some Jello and link them up to their Avatar bodies using extreme movie Signs Jake wakes up in his Blue Man Group giraffe ass with the ability to use all of his ligaments even his fees so he ignores all the pre-flight checks for his Avatar Body by the scientist and remembers how to use his legs then runs outside meets Avatar Grace and I am convinced that they gave these Navy people tales in this movie so they can naturally censor their butt cracks whatever though Jake meets lettus
torto the pilot that flies out all the science poies to their little you know Expedition then Scarface who's working out like slow Gra will make you soft he just inadvertently called himself a weak ass B cuz since they have low gravity here all these weights aren't actually that impressive if they are normal weights made of normal materials to Earth standards with the gravity being substantially weaker which to be fair he is making it out to be that way anyway he keeps talking tough guys [ __ ] gets in a mech suit and then tells Jake
that he wants him to report back to him on all the na'vi weaknesses once he fights him out so Scarface knows where to hit him where it hurts and in return when Jake goes home Scarface will get him the leg fixing surgery he wants so they hop in their Avatar bodies and fly over to the forest to do some [ __ ] signs I guess and hopefully run to na'vi people to intermingle with they passed by an old school where Grace taught the na'vi people [ __ ] like English Jake's like what happened here oh
you know casual school shooting it's basically American tradition by this point they then meet a hammerhead Rhino and a six-legged skin dog which attacks Jake and separates him from the other two he does his best to survive and get away which leads him to do the cliche of jumping up the waterfall to escape from danger luckily he doesn't die in the incredibly shallow Waters now he's in the jungle alone he makes a very sharp stick while chwe is quietly stalking him wants to kill him with a poison arrow but then an aerial jellyfish lands on
the Arrow as if to tell her not to the other avatars will go back to Human base because they can't find him and they can stay out too long at night and by Nightfall dude figures out that this tree sap is flammable and lights a stick with it to protect himself from little six sled skin dogs I don't know how he found out that [ __ ] was flammable but okay he keeps trying to protect himself but then soon gets overwhelmed then Chate whatever pops out and starts protecting him and choose away all the six
little skin dogs and he thanks her but she's like no thank this is sad very sad only we like a baby making noise don't know what to do dumbass that was so accurate up to the dumbass he's like if you really love your little Forest friends then why' you kill him to protect me because Mercury's in retrograde the [ __ ] that's does that even mean she wants him to leave he wants her to take her with him then a bunch of squishes land on him and she slabber us and he's like what are they
seeds of the Sacred tree very pure spirits uhhuh so am I like covered and come right now I ruin everything don't I she changes her mind because the aial come and takes him by force now over to her omaya clan where no dream Walker filthy Sky person is allowed telling her dad that she got a sign from aan not to kill him then her mom comes over to interrogate him and find out the will of AWA and she finds out that he's not a scientist but a soldier human and the dad says that they've never
got a soldier dream Walker before he's the first one to come over and they really need to study him and learn as much as they can about him and they task their daughter to teach him everything about them okay leader of the blo Asian Nation but isn't that exactly the opposite of what you just wanted to do I thought find out everything you can about them meant torture and interrogate are yall avatared so they get him in tribal clothing AKA almost naked and we find out blue bitch's actual name is NI that's very helpful they
feed him and put him to bed when he wakes up in his Jello pod as a human where Grace was more worried about the Avatar than him quick question if he dies in his Avatar form does he die in real life too is it like Inception or what doesn't matter he catches the scientists and the Army boys up with what he did so far and gra has a crash course on who's who in the na'vi he gets put in the jilot again to be his Avatar now starts learning [ __ ] like how to ride
their version of a horse by connecting his ethernet cable to the hores cable and telling it what to do with his mind and [ __ ] then Grace moves the size team over to a remote location on a lab somewhere on some floating rocks cuz they found out that Jake's been reporting to Scarface and punchable guy behind her back I don't know how this is meant to change anything he can still contact them over their internet but whatever they go over to the halleluya mountains that are floating because of and I quote the magl effect
caused by the unobtanium superc conductive properties so basically magnetic movie Signs also does this not mean that there's a ton of Anum over in that location so why not mind that whatever Jake starts using according to Grace the least glitchy Jello pod what does a glitchy mean here does it mean that he can't get into his avatar on a startup or does it extend to him not being able to use one of his limbs for example when he's in his Avatar maybe he gets slagged can of cause them to have a sudden brain aneurism or
a stroke explain [ __ ] whatever in Theory shows Jake her Dragon which will fly with only one na'vi in their lifetime once they bond was made he'll get one when he's ready and continues to learn the language archery becomes better friends with normal he teaches him na'vi who was previously jealous of him I don't know how he has time to do this in the morning if he spends all day in his Avatar body and all nights resting his real one get more learning and eventually enough trust is formed between him and know withaya people
to let him bring Grace's Avatar Into The Village they bury dead dude and talk about death and energy and AWA and Grace Force Fe his real body cuz he's losing weight at a very rapid rate and he can't do that cuz he needs the energy and there's a continuity error here actually there are a bunch of them which really pisses me off but I'm only benching this one because I want to save time then Grace tells them about how all the other kids with their Pumped Up Kicks better run better run outrun their guns please
tell me you understand what I meant by that reference and can you close the [ __ ] fridge Grace God damn it the food is going to spoil jeez thank you dumbass scientist anyway long story short n had a sister who made a green peace protest and got shot up in the school because she thought she'd be safe with Grace but she wasn't later Avatar Jake makes a clean kill according to the T so the other kill that you said you made yesterday was a dirty kill and you still ate it you say I thought
that wouldn't be allowed anyway he's ready now to go get his own dragon apparently so him and a bunch of other graduating Hunters climb off of the floating mountains to go choose their dragons he wrestles one and establishes an internet connection with it then flies around a bit insert How to Train Your Dragon clip here hold on a minute isn't he plugging the dragon's breath holes with his feet how is it breathing properly and can it smell his feet they must be stinky right anyway they do some more hunting and learning and flirting much dismay
of this guy Su who's supposed to marry [ __ ] I forgot her name again ntii and be the new clan leader and [ __ ] they got attacked by a bigger dragon and Escape it in the forest and she explains to him that that big dragon is called TK and is pretty big and strong only five na'vi ever were able to ride and the last person to do that United all the clans in the time of great sorrow because apparently that type of big dick energy for someone to wrestle with a dragon and control
it is recognized globally by all pandorans or all Nai now after 3 months of this Jake wakes up one day in his human body is conflicted as [ __ ] because his first mission was to come and gather as much Intel as he can on them to come up but now he doesn't really want to cuz he likes them and in the ceremony where they put jizz on his face he becomes a man and everybody touched him I made that sound weirder than it really is but don't worry about it then the takes him to
another sacred tree of theirs the tree of voices where they can download and upload memories of their ancestors and listen to them and [ __ ] through their ethernet cables and since he's officially onaya now he made choose a woman and she's like we have many fine women tiawa has the biggest tits what AK has the fattest ass I don't want none of them I want you baby girl come here they connect ponytails Andes it up the Bluetooth device is connected successfully fall asleep and next morning the humans start buling that area I thought they
were supposed to wait till Jake gave him the go-ahead or tried to negotiate the relocation of the navi people but whatever they're humans it makes sense for them to be dicks Jake hops into his Avatar body just in time for him to try and stop them by breaking one of the cameras of the bulldozer but he gets scared Away by a guy with a gun and back at the clan Su is mad and wants to attack the humans and Jake's like brother don't do this they're too strong he starts calling him brother a lot at
this point like excuse me bro you're [Music] excused except it's actually just as annoying and obnoxious as when The Rock does it in all those Fast and Furious movies so he's like hum it with this woman how the [ __ ] did he find out did he just infer it because they came in holding hands whatever she's like yeah we [ __ ] what about it I'm a strong independent Blue woman that can make her own choices okay then back at Bas Scarface notices that Jake is going aall cuz of the camera footage so he
flies over to their remote base on the floating rocks and disc connects him from their super realistic VR games their avatars Dro to the ground right as Jake was trying to tell him the truth about himself and humans and his mission here and Su goes see the demon has a false body I thought you knew you call them dream walkers for God's sake you're so confusing Su whatever theor protects their bodies Scarface un punchable boy get them back to HQ and Grace tries to explain to them how valuable their trees and Planet are and that
they will never exchange it for anything but as you know Money Talks people are [ __ ] and being greedy and gluttonous has been normalized and encouraged for centuries now so after the na'vi attack and Destroy some of their [ __ ] punch face guy gives the go-ahead to attack home tree with all the information that Jake has provideed to them so the scientist team plead to them one last time to at least let them get back in there and warn the na'vi people to evacuate so punchable dude agrees and giv them exactly 1 hour
they get back into their avatars and worn the nav people about what's going to happen and Jake tells them the truth about himself how he was sent here as a spy basically but he changed his mind because blue na'vi [ __ ] got him acting unwise the feels super betrayed by that gives him the stank eye damn look at his face they bind them up to execute them all the while they're yelling at them that they want to help and Scarface shows up with a big guns to take the Tre out which stops the execution
the's mom then comes over in the midst of the carage telling Jake that if he's really one of them that he should help them and freeze them then the tree comes down blue dad dies the is mad at Jake and he and Grace get unplugged why didn't the punchable face guy unplug them earlier when he saw the same feet that the Scarface guy was seeing that they were tied up and about to get executed whyn't he unplug them then whatever the scientist team gets locked up but then lety breaks them out because family and tries
to escape with them to the floating mountains while Scarface tries to stop them with his wingman they make it away but Grace gets shot so they go over to the hall mountains and lift the whole section of their lab out to take with them to the Tree of Souls where Jake thinks the na'vi people are going and where the na'vi people can help a very wounded Grace won the na'vi people immediately attack once they hear you land your loud ass helicopter over in the nearby vicinity maybe they got there before the na'vi I don't know
doesn't matter they land somewhere near enough Jake jumps into the Matrix and wakes up in his Avatar body amidst all the ashes of Home tree gets his dragon and decides to jump to Rook by the way Jake has this really really annoying narration throughout the whole movie which is kind of gay like sometimes your whole life comes down to one crazy move but hey it works he shows up to the Tree of Souls as TK MTO aka Big Dick writer of TK the biggest bat in the sky everyone respects the sh out of him even
su he asked blue mom if they can help Grace so they try and transport her from her human body to her Avatar body passing through the eye of AA while they all wiggle around and chant some really weird [ __ ] but it doesn't work because her wounds were too great and she was too weak so now she's stuck with awwa forever which apparently isn't that bad of a deal Jake gives a big speech on how sorry he is and how [ __ ] humans are and rallies everyone to fight with him against the humans
goes to 15 different Clans with his taruk you got the flying Clan you got the cow Clan and they all respect him and want to fight with him they come back as reinforcements the bad guys see their numbers increasing on satellite heat vision so they decide to bomb the [ __ ] out of the Tree of Souls which is news Jake gets cuz he has the stist guy on the inside telling him all his information so he comes up with a plan to wait for them to come to them through the floating mountains where most
of their flying instruments won't work because of the magnetic fields affecting them and [ __ ] them up and that's where they attacked him then that night Avatar Jake goes to connect to aan and asks her to look into Grace's memories if she's with her and see how humans killed their Earth basically asking for her help so Pandora doesn't befall the same fate then dday arrives bad guys roll up with a ground team and an air team with this main powerful gunship that scarf faces in with a bunch of smaller Choppers protecting this pedestrian ship
carrying a bunch of explosives that they're going to drop on home tree the na'vi attack on ground and air with everything they got even ly joins in with special war paint but she dies don't worry we all know that no one in the Fast and Furious franchise actually dies except for Paul rip that guy Su gets fatally injured as well and falls down to the ground because he tried this really ballsy move eventually dies later on but who cares then now they are getting overwhelmed by the human's Firepower but then the animals of Pandora airborne
and groundborne yeah whatever unguided by any na'vi help out in the fighting cuz AWA has heard Jake's calls and the ties turn into favor of the na'vi theor even gets the control of the six-legged skin dog which is some larly [ __ ] homes Jake then uses this momentum to destroy the cargo plane by nting one of his engines and having it blow up on the [ __ ] ground nearby not on the tree and goes do the same on the gunship but not before Scarface prepares for Titanfall while the ship is falling and burning
down jumps down with his me suit to survive the landing which happens to be right next to the lab that Jake is connecting to his Avatar through but then the T shows up with her pet only to have it get sted at by him and she gets trapped underneath it then Jake shows up for a final 1 V one boss battle where he pokes the whole and scarface's fuselage so Scarface takes the whole thing off so he can see and puts an oxygen mask on and Jake does not capitalize on this moment of vulnerability like
what the f he doing dude he has no cool Downs attack [ __ ] you know I can see why you lost your legs the first place cuz you're a [ __ ] Soldier that's why anyway he then pokes all through Jake's lap to try and kill Jake at the source but Jake keeps fighting on both ends here for breath here for his life well technically speaking on both ends he's fighting for his life but you get what I mean then the tear freeze herself from underneath the dead carcass of the six leg dog and
hits Scarface with the poison arrow then another one Jake wakes up in human form suffocating almost dying and tries to make it into the oxygen mask but can't the realizes that Avatar Jake isn't [ __ ] functioning and goes into the lab and sees normal ass Jake and gives him the thing he saves his life they send the rest of the evolved Apes back to the dying planet and only a few are chosen to stay Jake releases T back into the wildness then transfers himself up into cloud storage AKA while to download himself permanently into
his Avatar body and become the new clan leader I think this movie gets 10 Papyrus fonts out of a last air bender [Music] [Music]
